Smart Phone: A cellular phone that is not only more intelligent and productive than it's owner but would also be rescued from a flood before the owner's mother-in-law.
As the waters were rising around him he had to make a difficult choice, grab for the smart phone or his mother-in law's arm.He chose and used his smart phone to call for help.
A motorized vehicle with over size tires, enough horsepower to rescue a three ton elephant from quicksand and a glove compartment filled with country and western CD's.
He bought a pick up truck to drive to work but then lost his job as an accountant and didn't need it anymore.
The vague and unobtainable goals of a company or organization used by management to explain what the company or organization and they themselves do.
After months of meetings and repeated drafts they thought their new Mission Statement was perfectly clear, only problem was it really had nothing to do with what they did.
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Mission Statement
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Safe sex education for those who can't just say no and have on line sex with strangers.
Instructor: Hello and welcome to Tech Sex Ed 101 where if you don't learn anything else you will at the very least learn to always use a surge protector.
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Tech Sex ED 101
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A pad of paper and a sharpened #2 pencil.
BOB: Soon I'll never forget anything again.
Burt: And why is that?
Bob: After watching this infomercial on TV last night I ordered the Memory Enhancer and because I was one of the first thousand callers I get not one but two pads of paper and two sharpened #2 pencils.
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Memory Enhancer
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What one does when looking in the rear view mirror while driving and notices something hanging from their nose.
I checked the mirror to change lanes and there was the grossest thing hanging out from my nose so I did a quick pick and flick to get rid of it.
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Quick pick and flick
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What happens to dogs, who don't like their names.
Maria the Chihuahua: What's the matter with Taco he seems so down all of the time.
Jose the Chihuahua: He's suffering from Doggie Depression.
Maria: Why?
Jose: You would be too if you were named after a fast food.
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Doggie Depression
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