Mate 1: Hey, I'd be careful risking all that money on one bet. Only risk what you can afford to lose.
Mate 2: Thanks. VSA

My mother-in-law is jealous of the fact that I married her baby boy and helped him to become a man. What a sick bitch.

I would rather have a chainsaw enema ,than have dinner with my mother in law.

Next time, pour holy water on her... she may melt.

Hi Darlin, me and the lads are going to the shooting range, does your mother want to come?

I took her to the mall and she just wonderd off... Seriously.

Darlin will you take my mother out later, yes i was going to take the dog for a walk anyway.

Question: Im going to my mothers house, Do you want to come?
Answer: i cant, Aliens have landed and have take over the world. i must go and fight with the resistance.

My mother in law, your mother in law, everyone's mother in lax