by DAT Chanh February 18, 2017
The chosen occupation of the dullest people you will ever know. Enticed to this career solely by the prospect of financial gain and security, yet not brave enough to advance to the somewhat more respectable and risky (yet at least.. more exciting) field of finance, a person who chose to be an accountant is a boring syncophantic moron (see: tool) who essentially decided to do the most boring job in the world because he or she was scared of committing to anything else.
Nobody is ever "passionate" about accounting. Anybody who says that he or she is passionate is basically a fucking goddamn bullshitting liar.
Ex. Ricky chose to be an accountant because he thought he wouldn't get hired for anything else. He now works for PwC and is fucking boring as hell. Ugh, having to be around him and listen to him talk is like being strangled and having to die a very slow and painful death.
Ex. Ricky chose to be an accountant because he thought he wouldn't get hired for anything else. He now works for PwC and is fucking boring as hell. Ugh, having to be around him and listen to him talk is like being strangled and having to die a very slow and painful death.
by OneWhoSpeaksTheTruths January 21, 2012
by horneygirl6969 September 01, 2020
by Mr. Mofo September 26, 2005
Profession in which calculator-wielding lackeys figure out ways to hide all the money the boss has spent buying pussy;
Job duties also include figuring out how to write and cash checks, prepare fraudulent financial statements, and shredding documents.
Job duties also include figuring out how to write and cash checks, prepare fraudulent financial statements, and shredding documents.
"Jack, can you call up Benny down in accounting to see if they finished cooking the books? I forgot to attach those "catering" receipts form vinny's liqours and suki's massage parlor.
by flurky September 24, 2003
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in way you don't understand.
See also: wizard, magician
See also: wizard, magician
Hello, Mr. Fabeets, this is your Accountant. I just finished your taxes and it looks like you owe the IRS about $40,000, but, if you pay me just $2,500, I can calculate some depreciation deductions that will make your entire tax go away.
by Hugo Slugg February 10, 2021
1. The department that insists on gang-auditing the entire coporation. Accounting departments solve problems you didn't know you have in ways you don't understand. In God they trust, all others must bring data.
2. The process of hiding income by processing it through a large-turnover entity, who takes a premium from it, and then receiving the income from that entity to avoid suspicion from auditors and IRS.
2. The process of hiding income by processing it through a large-turnover entity, who takes a premium from it, and then receiving the income from that entity to avoid suspicion from auditors and IRS.
by CMP March 04, 2006