Bullshitzer's definitions

Memory Enhancer

A pad of paper and a sharpened #2 pencil.

BOB: Soon I'll never forget anything again.
Burt: And why is that?
Bob: After watching this infomercial on TV last night I ordered the Memory Enhancer and because I was one of the first thousand callers I get not one but two pads of paper and two sharpened #2 pencils.

by Bullshitzer June 24, 2010

Doggie Depression

What happens to dogs, who don't like their names.

Maria the Chihuahua: What's the matter with Taco he seems so down all of the time.
Jose the Chihuahua: He's suffering from Doggie Depression.

Maria: Why?
Jose: You would be too if you were named after a fast food.

by Bullshitzer June 23, 2010

Smart Phone

Smart Phone: A cellular phone that is not only more intelligent and productive than it's owner but would also be rescued from a flood before the owner's mother-in-law.

As the waters were rising around him he had to make a difficult choice, grab for the smart phone or his mother-in law's arm.He chose and used his smart phone to call for help.

by Bullshitzer June 3, 2010

Mission Statement

The vague and unobtainable goals of a company or organization used by management to explain what the company or organization and they themselves do.

After months of meetings and repeated drafts they thought their new Mission Statement was perfectly clear, only problem was it really had nothing to do with what they did.

by bullshitzer June 2, 2010

Bummer Butt

People on the beach who when you see from behind can ruin your day because there swimsuits and butts are the wrong size for each other.

I was having a good time relaxing at the beach until I saw a bummer butt and had to go home.

by Bullshitzer June 11, 2010

Tech Sex ED 101

Safe sex education for those who can't just say no and have on line sex with strangers.

Instructor: Hello and welcome to Tech Sex Ed 101 where if you don't learn anything else you will at the very least learn to always use a surge protector.

by bullshitzer July 8, 2010

Sockuary

A safe haven for socks that have escaped from the dryer.

Husband: I can't find the other half of my new pair of red socks, where did it go?

Wife: It probably sought refuge at the sockuary.

by Bullshitzer July 3, 2010