The Kinsey Scale is an apparatus, somewhat resembling a standard bathroom scale, which quantifies whether its user is light in the loafers. Before deployment, each Kinsey scale is taken to gay saunas and drag queen shows to be carefully calibrated, based on this standard:
0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual
The result, on a scale of zero to six, is displayed using the six colours of the Baker pride flag. If the user is entirely light in the loafers, all six colours will illuminate like a rainbow; if the user is entirely straight, the whole display fades to monochrome.
0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual
The result, on a scale of zero to six, is displayed using the six colours of the Baker pride flag. If the user is entirely light in the loafers, all six colours will illuminate like a rainbow; if the user is entirely straight, the whole display fades to monochrome.
I picked up a used Kinsey Scale in a local department store as part of an ongoing promotion, in which clients are encouraged to collect Kinsey points and redeem them for valuable prizes. Apparently Ellen, the lady on the telly, managed to collect all six Kinsey points and redeem them for a toaster oven - so maybe that's the incentive I should try next?
There's also the Klein Scale, which runs from one to seven on multiple factors, including whether the user is wearing Calvin Klein or BumChums as undergarments. A bit more complex, but it seems to have a few interesting possibilities.
There's also the Klein Scale, which runs from one to seven on multiple factors, including whether the user is wearing Calvin Klein or BumChums as undergarments. A bit more complex, but it seems to have a few interesting possibilities.
by bitchuck August 24, 2024
Get the Kinsey Scale mug.Something that's completely unusable or effectively useless.
Something as useful as a chocolate teapot.
Something as useful as a chocolate teapot.
The phrase "eight people in a basement, huddled around a wooden fireplace" during a power failure originates with the Brockville Recorder & Times, a small-city daily newspaper, reporting on a major icestorm which hit eastern Ontario in Jan 1998. They followed up with another piece on a subsequent power fail which stated "when the insulator is open, the electricity leaks to the ground."
Don't quit your day jobs, kids.
Don't quit your day jobs, kids.
by bitchuck October 05, 2024
Get the wooden fireplace mug.Someone who takes great erotic pleasure in picking up and servicing cum dumpsters. Effectively a cum dumpster's cum dumpster.
A spooge bin lorry is built like a front-loading garbage truck, with a belly the size of a rubbish compactor. He can pick up his sweet little unforgettable thing by the love handles with his big, strong arms; set her right down on his face; lick her lovingly clean inside and out until she contentedly soaks him in bodily fluids. Once she is satisfied, she is delicately placed back in the upright position. If he has performed his duties well, he will be passed around to all of her cum dumpster friends so that he may service them too.
A spooge bin lorry is built like a front-loading garbage truck, with a belly the size of a rubbish compactor. He can pick up his sweet little unforgettable thing by the love handles with his big, strong arms; set her right down on his face; lick her lovingly clean inside and out until she contentedly soaks him in bodily fluids. Once she is satisfied, she is delicately placed back in the upright position. If he has performed his duties well, he will be passed around to all of her cum dumpster friends so that he may service them too.
The spooge bin lorry will turn up wherever cum dumpsters congregate - sex clubs, sleazy motels, swinger "lifestyle" gatherings, mass orgies, gangbangs, bukkakes, you name it.
The implicit analogy? Some have nothing better to do than find the one sexually liberated unique treasure who actually likes sex and slut-shame her by addressing her as a garbage receptacle. To heck with that. I like sex. If I find someone who also likes sex? I intend to hold that thot, embrace that thot, never let that thot go. If she's a garbage receptacle to you, I'm a garbage truck and I'd suggest you get off the sidewalk if you do not want to be run down.
The implicit analogy? Some have nothing better to do than find the one sexually liberated unique treasure who actually likes sex and slut-shame her by addressing her as a garbage receptacle. To heck with that. I like sex. If I find someone who also likes sex? I intend to hold that thot, embrace that thot, never let that thot go. If she's a garbage receptacle to you, I'm a garbage truck and I'd suggest you get off the sidewalk if you do not want to be run down.
by bitchuck December 16, 2024
Get the spooge bin lorry mug.The song "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" is such an obvious reference to "Wizard of Oz" (1939 film) that clearly a friend of Dorothy's involved with this.
by bitchuck December 15, 2024
Get the a friend of Dorothy's mug.1. "Service Provider", used in "escort review" forums to refer to a working girl, painted lady, lady of the night...
2> "Standard Play", the shortest runtime on media formats which offer a choice between SP (standard play), LP (long play), EP (extended play). For instance , the VHS video home system had T120 as the standard videocassette, which held two hours (120 minutes) of SDTV on SP, four hours on LP, six hours on EP. The lowest denominator (supported from the first VHS VCR onward) was SP, which forced some particularly long feature films (like Mario Puzo's "Godfather" series) onto a second cassette.
3. "Service Pack" in software version numbering; "WinXP SP3" was Windows XP, Service Pack 3, for example.
2> "Standard Play", the shortest runtime on media formats which offer a choice between SP (standard play), LP (long play), EP (extended play). For instance , the VHS video home system had T120 as the standard videocassette, which held two hours (120 minutes) of SDTV on SP, four hours on LP, six hours on EP. The lowest denominator (supported from the first VHS VCR onward) was SP, which forced some particularly long feature films (like Mario Puzo's "Godfather" series) onto a second cassette.
3. "Service Pack" in software version numbering; "WinXP SP3" was Windows XP, Service Pack 3, for example.
I miss the VHS days. It wasn't HDTV, but when you booked an SP you actually had two hours to "get off".
by bitchuck September 17, 2024
Get the SP mug.A particularly-wild form of LAN party which is held by disgruntled tenants attempting to induce their upstream provider to terminate a fixed-term DHCP lease before its expiry date. The usual targets are unscrupulous phone and cable operators who lock victims into one-sided multi-year contracts and refuse to let them leave, even as they unilaterally and repeatedly raise prices for inferior service. It's like the cockroach motel, where they check in but they don't check out.
The idea is to annoy providers just enough that they suddenly beg the tenant to leave or even seek to evict instead of holding them hostage to a fixed-term which is no longer useful to a client who needs to be able to leave without penalty after having taken a lucrative job in another city.
The idea is to annoy providers just enough that they suddenly beg the tenant to leave or even seek to evict instead of holding them hostage to a fixed-term which is no longer useful to a client who needs to be able to leave without penalty after having taken a lucrative job in another city.
Likely apocryphal, the DHCP lease breaking party is a fusion of three intertwined concepts:
- A "lease breaking party" in residential tenancy is a party or gathering that disturbs other neighbouring tenants enough to induce a landlord to break the lease
- A "LAN party" is a wild gathering of video game geeks which degenerates into a "rainbow party" like orgy of video game players competing to see how far down the joystick each can leave their respective lip prints; these events are associated with widespreaad abuse of LAN party drugs and overclocking on highly-customised water-cooled gaming PC's.
- A "DHCP lease" is a feature of the Dynamic Host Configuration Protocol which attempts to hold an Internet Protocol address for a predefined "lease" time so that it may be assigned to the same device when it reconnects.
These wild LAN parties often end badly, with clients going from multi homed to homeless or being bumped off the network entirely. A particularly wild DHCP lease breaking party with extensive LAN party drug use is highly disruptive to tenants of neighbouring IP addresses. An orgy of video games, online porn and bacchanalia tends to degenerate into sloppy seconds bandwidth and conditions prone to spread computer virii, but the situation with most low-rent ISP's is so dismal that client PC's have few other viable options.
- A "lease breaking party" in residential tenancy is a party or gathering that disturbs other neighbouring tenants enough to induce a landlord to break the lease
- A "LAN party" is a wild gathering of video game geeks which degenerates into a "rainbow party" like orgy of video game players competing to see how far down the joystick each can leave their respective lip prints; these events are associated with widespreaad abuse of LAN party drugs and overclocking on highly-customised water-cooled gaming PC's.
- A "DHCP lease" is a feature of the Dynamic Host Configuration Protocol which attempts to hold an Internet Protocol address for a predefined "lease" time so that it may be assigned to the same device when it reconnects.
These wild LAN parties often end badly, with clients going from multi homed to homeless or being bumped off the network entirely. A particularly wild DHCP lease breaking party with extensive LAN party drug use is highly disruptive to tenants of neighbouring IP addresses. An orgy of video games, online porn and bacchanalia tends to degenerate into sloppy seconds bandwidth and conditions prone to spread computer virii, but the situation with most low-rent ISP's is so dismal that client PC's have few other viable options.
by bitchuck August 19, 2025
Get the DHCP lease breaking party mug.A character in a charming little gay tongue twister; the Peter Pecker rhyme goes something like:
Peter Puffer picked a peck of pickled peckers.
A peck of pickled peckers Peter Puffer picked.
If Peter Puffer picked a peck of pickled peckers,
Where's the peck of pickled peckers Peter Puffer picked?
.
Peter Puffer picked a peck of pickled peckers.
A peck of pickled peckers Peter Puffer picked.
If Peter Puffer picked a peck of pickled peckers,
Where's the peck of pickled peckers Peter Puffer picked?
.
As a homosexual nursery rhyme, this verse is a tongue twister as twisting one's tongue around an erect, throbbing pecker while reciting "Peter Puffer" flawlessly takes a certain amount of skill and practice.
A similar tongue twister is to quickly ask « à qui sont ces six saucissons-ci », while repeatedly twisting your tongue around the other lads' sausages. The chaps being swallowed respond to « combien coûte ces six saucissons-ci » with a countersign « ces saucissons-ci coûte six sous », asking the equivalent of six cents for this fine mouthful of fresh sausage.
A similar tongue twister is to quickly ask « à qui sont ces six saucissons-ci », while repeatedly twisting your tongue around the other lads' sausages. The chaps being swallowed respond to « combien coûte ces six saucissons-ci » with a countersign « ces saucissons-ci coûte six sous », asking the equivalent of six cents for this fine mouthful of fresh sausage.
by bitchuck July 02, 2025
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