Definitions by bitchuck
Goodswill Industries
A chain of "thrift stores" which operates by having people donate their garbage for free, only to have the chain mark the items up and sell them to others for more than they are worth. The front-line workers are paid chump change on the pretext that this is a charity, somehow offering "vocational training" to people with limited job prospects elsewhere.
Unfortunately, if people donate their garbage to you and you resell it, it's still garbage... yet somehow they could sell me trousers with holes in the pockets, refuse to take them back and still fail to turn a profit on these ridiculous transactions.
Unfortunately, if people donate their garbage to you and you resell it, it's still garbage... yet somehow they could sell me trousers with holes in the pockets, refuse to take them back and still fail to turn a profit on these ridiculous transactions.
The Goodswill Industries banner is gone entirely from any point in Ontario, Canada east of Toronto or north of Newmarket after a spectacular 2016 bankruptcy in which the Toronto-based regional chapter of the chain was revealed to owe six million dollars of money it doesn't have, most of it to its own workers. One corner of Southwestern Ontario is unaffected because it belonged to a different regional chapter, centred on London, but Ontario is otherwise finally rid of Goodswill.
Goodswill Industries by bitchuck August 29, 2024
Bumchums
A brand of male undergarments, created as a clever bit of demographic marketing. The target demographic is male homosexuals in the United Kingdom - a narrow but apparently-profitable niche.
transphobe
Yes, I'm a transphobe. I wake up at night in terror, after having nightmares in which the entire LGBT community threw me under the bus to advance their public transit agenda. No way they're getting me to ride one of those infernal contraptions!
transphobe by bitchuck August 26, 2024
homophobe
Someone with a justified and well-founded fear of homophones.
Homophones are those words which sound the same but mean something completely different, so that no one has any idea which witch is which. They're harmful. They're subversive. They have no place in our good, respectable community.
Homophones are those words which sound the same but mean something completely different, so that no one has any idea which witch is which. They're harmful. They're subversive. They have no place in our good, respectable community.
I lost a good buddy at the hands of those evil homophones. They mistakenly got into a vehicle with a reckless driver instead of a wreckless driver. They sound the same but the meaning of the words is completely opposite.
That's why I and my redneck, homophobe buddies are going to clean up this community and run all of the homophones out of town. YEE-HAW! I'm gonna put some more notches in my commie ridder!
After all, the consequences of not knowing whether that "fanny pack" or "bum bag" is a "waist bag" or a "waste bag" get really messy and disgusting. We're not having that in this corn patch, no siree Bob.
That's why I and my redneck, homophobe buddies are going to clean up this community and run all of the homophones out of town. YEE-HAW! I'm gonna put some more notches in my commie ridder!
After all, the consequences of not knowing whether that "fanny pack" or "bum bag" is a "waist bag" or a "waste bag" get really messy and disgusting. We're not having that in this corn patch, no siree Bob.
blue balls
A common affliction among Smurfs.
The Smurf orgy, known as a "Smuckfest", comes but once a year and the average male Smurf may not even come that often, unless he's openminded to everything from bisexuality to smurfing inanimate objects. As long as the gender ratio remains skewed at one Smurfette per hundred Smurfs, the situation surrounding Smurf polyandry is unlikely to improve, leading to nothing but frustration.
The Smurf orgy, known as a "Smuckfest", comes but once a year and the average male Smurf may not even come that often, unless he's openminded to everything from bisexuality to smurfing inanimate objects. As long as the gender ratio remains skewed at one Smurfette per hundred Smurfs, the situation surrounding Smurf polyandry is unlikely to improve, leading to nothing but frustration.
A typical Smurf village may have over a hundred residents but only one Smurfette; the total number of female Smurfs to have ever existed is no more than three, and the number of crossdressing, transsexual or transgendered Smurfs may well be zero.
These hopelessly skewed numbers lead to a lot of sexual frustration and many male Smurfs with a severe case of blue balls.
These hopelessly skewed numbers lead to a lot of sexual frustration and many male Smurfs with a severe case of blue balls.
blue balls by bitchuck August 26, 2024
Kinsey Scale
The Kinsey Scale is an apparatus, somewhat resembling a standard bathroom scale, which quantifies whether its user is light in the loafers. Before deployment, each Kinsey scale is taken to gay saunas and drag queen shows to be carefully calibrated, based on this standard:
0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual
The result, on a scale of zero to six, is displayed using the six colours of the Baker pride flag. If the user is entirely light in the loafers, all six colours will illuminate like a rainbow; if the user is entirely straight, the whole display fades to monochrome.
0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual
The result, on a scale of zero to six, is displayed using the six colours of the Baker pride flag. If the user is entirely light in the loafers, all six colours will illuminate like a rainbow; if the user is entirely straight, the whole display fades to monochrome.
I picked up a used Kinsey Scale in a local department store as part of an ongoing promotion, in which clients are encouraged to collect Kinsey points and redeem them for valuable prizes. Apparently Ellen, the lady on the telly, managed to collect all six Kinsey points and redeem them for a toaster oven - so maybe that's the incentive I should try next?
There's also the Klein Scale, which runs from one to seven on multiple factors, including whether the user is wearing Calvin Klein or BumChums as undergarments. A bit more complex, but it seems to have a few interesting possibilities.
There's also the Klein Scale, which runs from one to seven on multiple factors, including whether the user is wearing Calvin Klein or BumChums as undergarments. A bit more complex, but it seems to have a few interesting possibilities.
Kinsey Scale by bitchuck August 24, 2024
pool boy
A "pool boy" is a servant who cleans pools.
In Internet pornography, these men exist primarily as eye candy to the rich and famous. The posting is prestigious and anyone who takes up the mantle treated as an Adonis among men.
In Internet pornography, these men exist primarily as eye candy to the rich and famous. The posting is prestigious and anyone who takes up the mantle treated as an Adonis among men.
I studied at the Sorbonne to become a pool boy; while there, I espoused a blonde French maidservant as my bride. We had expected this to bring us fame and fortune in California, like that depicted on PornHamster.
If it's on the Internet, it must be true.
Neither of us is quite sure how exactly both careers turned out to be dead-end janitorial paths. If we can't rely upon PornHamster as an expert source when making professional career decisions, whom can we trust?
If it's on the Internet, it must be true.
Neither of us is quite sure how exactly both careers turned out to be dead-end janitorial paths. If we can't rely upon PornHamster as an expert source when making professional career decisions, whom can we trust?