108 definitions by authOOr

umbilical leash

One of those baby restraints with a rope attached so as to prevent a child from running too far out of reach from his/her parental unit. Also known as the primitive version of GPS.

Baby Boy: Damn my stupid mother. She has locked me up in her outdoor jail with this stupid umbilical leash.
Baby Girl: That's too bad because if you could just take 3 steps further, I'll give you the time of your life.

by authOOr June 18, 2006

learning a new language

when you are learning a new language, you are working on a new piece of ass.

Fundo's girlfriend told him that she was learning a new language, so Fundo decided to choke a bitch.

by authOOr June 28, 2006

shrimp

The kid with no game who needs to be schooled on sex.

Fundo thought the shrimp was helpless, until he finally found his mojo.

by authOOr August 8, 2006

SCUMBAG

Store Clean Up Mop Bucket Applications Guy/Gal
The title of the store worker that makes sure everything is tidy.

Fundo enjoyed being the underpaid SCUMBAG, cleaning the store, so he showed up to work early every day.

by authOOr August 25, 2006

let's go swimming

A phrase meaning "I want to have crazy sex."

Fundo jumped into the pool when the lady said to him, "Let's go swimming." Little did Fundo know, the lady was referring to something else.

by authOOr July 10, 2006

keep your hands to yourself

When alone in a room, it is a phrase a woman says to a pervert when she's being groped when she only wants to see you masturbate. When around other people, it's a cry of rape.

Fundo grabbed Flenda's booby. Flenda screamed at Fundo, "Keep your hands to yourself!!!" Fundo proceeded to yank it in front of her.

by authOOr July 6, 2006

plasterbate

Masturbating to make a mold of your penile unit with plaster of paris.

Fundo wanted to share his penis with the world, so he plasterbated, with hopes of becoming extremely wealthy.

by authOOr June 26, 2006