hopscotch

A mixture of beer and scotch.

Never drink hopscotch.

by assmurderer September 03, 2011

Laffensadden

A German term roughly meaning "funny and sad at the same time."

It was laffensadden when I found out the times square elmo was just a racist homeless man in a costume.

by assmurderer August 21, 2013

Mate Guard

An insecure person characterized by his or her tendency to prevent their sexual parter from participating in sex acts with others.

Tom: Hey Bob, your girlfriend was a great fuck last night.
Bob: I'll kill you!
Tom: Don't be such a mate guard.

by assmurderer June 23, 2011

fence hopping

The act of hopping a fence or otherwise entering a property for the purpose of having sexual intercourse with pets and/or livestock.

The locals were disgusted when they discovered that Bob had been fence hopping.

by assmurderer July 25, 2010

playing center field

the romantic and sexual pursuit of middle aged women.

Girls my own age have always been intimidated by me, but I've had much more success after I started playing center field.

by assmurderer September 13, 2011

reverse nautilus

N. An exit maneuver that is performed after walking into an awkward or otherwise undesirable situation. It consists of walking or scuffling backwards while undulating the arms along the anterior region of the transverse plane, imitating the way the chambered nautilus swims. A person performing the reverse nautilus will try to forget what has been seen.

V. To do the reverse nautilus.

N. When I saw my little brother masturbating, I did the reverse nautilus.

V. Last night I ran into my roommate having sex, and I promptly reverse nautilused out of there.

by assmurderer January 11, 2010

Norwegian nose tickle

the act of ejaculating onto a sleeping persons outstretched palm and then tickling their nose. Ideally, the victim will wipe their face with the freshly cumsoaked hand.

I gave Suzy a Norwegian nose tickle last night.

by assmurderer December 14, 2012