assmurderer's definitions

Baby Birds

A sexual game in which one partner vomits into the mouth of the other. Oftentimes, they will snowball the material back and fourth, alternating between the role of "baby bird" and "mother bird." The game is named for the way baby birds are fed by their mother in nature.

My teeth are messed up because I played Baby Birds with my girlfriend one too many times.

by assmurderer June 19, 2013

playing center field

the romantic and sexual pursuit of middle aged women.

Girls my own age have always been intimidated by me, but I've had much more success after I started playing center field.

by assmurderer September 13, 2011

Mate Guard

An insecure person characterized by his or her tendency to prevent their sexual parter from participating in sex acts with others.

Tom: Hey Bob, your girlfriend was a great fuck last night.
Bob: I'll kill you!
Tom: Don't be such a mate guard.

by assmurderer June 23, 2011

Twilight

Powerful supernatural beings fighting over a homely teenage girl.

Person A: Did you read/see Twilight?

Person B: No.

by assmurderer February 6, 2010

Cidephobia

The fear of killing. According to the Center for Mental Disorders (CMD), cidephobia is specified as a condition in which a person either has an intense desire not to kill people, experiences recurrent urges not to kill, or fantasies about a world in which everyone gets along. Cidephobia is recognized as a clinical disorder by the CDM. It has been shown in numerous studies that cidephobia has negative effects on a person's ability to enjoy killing. If you or a loved one suffer from cidephobia, they should see a psychiatrist immediately.

John: Hey Paul! Kill that mofo!
Paul: I can't due to my cidephobia.
John: Aw damn Paul, you seriously need to get some help.

by assmurderer September 14, 2009

hopscotch

A mixture of beer and scotch.

Never drink hopscotch.

by assmurderer September 3, 2011

heterochronohomonym

A word, usually an irregular verb, that sounds the same, is spelled the same, and has the same meaning, but differs by tense. For example set is the same in past, present, and past participle form. They lacks 'ed' and 'en' suffixes. 'Read' and 'read' are pronounced differently and hence are heterochronohomographs.

"I set the tables, can I go home?"
"Did you set the tables? Or are you using a heterochronohomonym?

by assmurderer November 9, 2021