assmurderer's definitions

Mate Guard

An insecure person characterized by his or her tendency to prevent their sexual parter from participating in sex acts with others.

Tom: Hey Bob, your girlfriend was a great fuck last night.
Bob: I'll kill you!
Tom: Don't be such a mate guard.

by assmurderer June 23, 2011

Baby Birds

A sexual game in which one partner vomits into the mouth of the other. Oftentimes, they will snowball the material back and fourth, alternating between the role of "baby bird" and "mother bird." The game is named for the way baby birds are fed by their mother in nature.

My teeth are messed up because I played Baby Birds with my girlfriend one too many times.

by assmurderer June 19, 2013

Flammobilia

Memorabilia that also happens to be flammable.

Most memorabilia is also flammobilia.

by assmurderer April 12, 2010

heterochronohomonym

A word, usually an irregular verb, that sounds the same, is spelled the same, and has the same meaning, but differs by tense. For example set is the same in past, present, and past participle form. They lacks 'ed' and 'en' suffixes. 'Read' and 'read' are pronounced differently and hence are heterochronohomographs.

"I set the tables, can I go home?"
"Did you set the tables? Or are you using a heterochronohomonym?

by assmurderer November 9, 2021

hopscotch

A mixture of beer and scotch.

Never drink hopscotch.

by assmurderer September 3, 2011

Norwegian nose tickle

the act of ejaculating onto a sleeping persons outstretched palm and then tickling their nose. Ideally, the victim will wipe their face with the freshly cumsoaked hand.

I gave Suzy a Norwegian nose tickle last night.

by assmurderer December 14, 2012

Laffensadden

A German term roughly meaning "funny and sad at the same time."

It was laffensadden when I found out the times square elmo was just a racist homeless man in a costume.

by assmurderer August 21, 2013