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Yet Another Josh Cohen's definitions

noodle incident

Something that happened in the past. No one talks about it, no one knows exactly what it was. But everyone agrees that it was something embarassing or bad.

From "Calvin and Hobbes".
(At a 20-year High School Reunion)
Wife: Why is everyone looking at you funny?
Husband: They must not have forgotten the noodle incident.
Wife: You never told me about that. What was it?
Husband: ... ... it was... the noodle incident. (looks away shamefully)
Wife: (goes off to find someone to explain this to her)
by Yet Another Josh Cohen September 22, 2006
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ass-to-pants ratio

The percentage number that indicates how nice someone's ass looks inside their pants, shorts, bathing suit, skirt, dress, or underwear. The closer to 100%, the better that ass looks. May be abbreviated as ATP.
"Denise always buys the pants that make her butt look perfect. Every day, she's got a 100% ass-to-pants ratio."
by Yet Another Josh Cohen December 9, 2007
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yogurt spooge

The spray of yogurt drops that flies out and gets all over your desk or clothes when you open a container of yogurt.
Tracy: Ugh, dude, what's that white stuff all over your shirt?

Mike: That's yogurt spooge. Want some? (offers spoon)
by Yet Another Josh Cohen March 17, 2009
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standard cycle

The graphable curve by which men can measure the frequency with which they receive blowjobs over the lifetime of a relationship.

If x=days spent in relationship and y=number of blowjobs-per-month, then as x increases, y decreases. The curve usually looks like the positive side of a hyperbolic graph, starting with y being very high and eventually reaching somewhere between 0 and 1, actually hitting zero if the relationship is in the marriage phase.
Dude 1: I used to get a lot of blowjobs, but they tapered off and eventually stopped happening. The standard cycle.

Dude 2: My standard cycle is a straight line that never goes above one.

Dude 1: Your wife sucks.

Dude 2: No, she doesn't, and that's the problem.
by Yet Another Josh Cohen December 4, 2009
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mrha

"Message received, humor acknowledged." On the internet, everyone types lol when they really aren't laughing out loud. This is a way to say "I am making you aware that I have received your link/message/quotation and discovered that it was indeed humorous. I did not, however, laugh out loud."
You: "Hey, check out this picture on the FailBlog!"

Me: *click click click* "mrha"
by Yet Another Josh Cohen January 18, 2009
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suicide lane

A lane on a roadway that, depending upon the time of day, changes direction of travel. Sometimes, as in Snellville, Georgia, the direction of travel is noted by an electric sign every 200 feet hanging across the highway. Other times, as in parts of Maryland, there is nothing but a sign.

Example:

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |

From 5am to noon, lanes 1, 2, 3, and 4 are Southbound, lane 5 is a turn lane, and lanes 6 and 7 are Northbound. From noon to 8pm, lanes 1 and 2 are Southbound, lane 3 is a turn lane, and lanes 4 through 7 are Northbound.
The suicide lanes on 78 always creep me out just a bit.
by Yet Another Josh Cohen December 28, 2005
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youtube fight

When someone in your office watches a video on YouTube that is silly or strange and you try to respond and top them, you have started a YouTube fight.
"I'll see your Banana Splits and raise you a Jem and the Holograms."

"Dude, I'm busy. No time for a YouTube fight."

"Poop."
by Yet Another Josh Cohen February 25, 2009
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