Yet Another Josh Cohen's definitions
Something that happened in the past. No one talks about it, no one knows exactly what it was. But everyone agrees that it was something embarassing or bad.
From "Calvin and Hobbes".
From "Calvin and Hobbes".
(At a 20-year High School Reunion)
Wife: Why is everyone looking at you funny?
Husband: They must not have forgotten the noodle incident.
Wife: You never told me about that. What was it?
Husband: ... ... it was... the noodle incident. (looks away shamefully)
Wife: (goes off to find someone to explain this to her)
Wife: Why is everyone looking at you funny?
Husband: They must not have forgotten the noodle incident.
Wife: You never told me about that. What was it?
Husband: ... ... it was... the noodle incident. (looks away shamefully)
Wife: (goes off to find someone to explain this to her)
by Yet Another Josh Cohen September 22, 2006
Get the noodle incidentmug. A photo of a cat doing a seemingly-innocuous thing, with large text superimposed. Sort of an offshoot of the orly owl. Also called cat macros
"I made you a cookie but I eated it", "ceiling cat is watching you masturbate", and "I see what you did there" are good examples of lolcats.
by Yet Another Josh Cohen February 11, 2007
Get the lolcatmug. The percentage number that indicates how nice someone's ass looks inside their pants, shorts, bathing suit, skirt, dress, or underwear. The closer to 100%, the better that ass looks. May be abbreviated as ATP.
"Denise always buys the pants that make her butt look perfect. Every day, she's got a 100% ass-to-pants ratio."
by Yet Another Josh Cohen December 9, 2007
Get the ass-to-pants ratiomug. The graphable curve by which men can measure the frequency with which they receive blowjobs over the lifetime of a relationship.
If x=days spent in relationship and y=number of blowjobs-per-month, then as x increases, y decreases. The curve usually looks like the positive side of a hyperbolic graph, starting with y being very high and eventually reaching somewhere between 0 and 1, actually hitting zero if the relationship is in the marriage phase.
If x=days spent in relationship and y=number of blowjobs-per-month, then as x increases, y decreases. The curve usually looks like the positive side of a hyperbolic graph, starting with y being very high and eventually reaching somewhere between 0 and 1, actually hitting zero if the relationship is in the marriage phase.
Dude 1: I used to get a lot of blowjobs, but they tapered off and eventually stopped happening. The standard cycle.
Dude 2: My standard cycle is a straight line that never goes above one.
Dude 1: Your wife sucks.
Dude 2: No, she doesn't, and that's the problem.
Dude 2: My standard cycle is a straight line that never goes above one.
Dude 1: Your wife sucks.
Dude 2: No, she doesn't, and that's the problem.
by Yet Another Josh Cohen December 4, 2009
Get the standard cyclemug. The spray of yogurt drops that flies out and gets all over your desk or clothes when you open a container of yogurt.
Tracy: Ugh, dude, what's that white stuff all over your shirt?
Mike: That's yogurt spooge. Want some? (offers spoon)
Mike: That's yogurt spooge. Want some? (offers spoon)
by Yet Another Josh Cohen March 17, 2009
Get the yogurt spoogemug. An overblown, overpriced funeral for a public figure -- such as a musician, politician, actor, or athlete -- that is vastly disproportionate to how much attention s/he needed to receive.
Peter: "Hey, did you see Paris speaking at the Michael Jackson funeral?"
Stewart: "How could I not? That viking funeral was on every blasted channel!"
Stewart: "How could I not? That viking funeral was on every blasted channel!"
by Yet Another Josh Cohen July 14, 2009
Get the viking funeralmug. 1. An outgrowth of the BDSM safeword, by which you arrange with a friend before meeting someone new that you'll call him/her at a certain time. If your friend receives this call, all is well. If your friend does NOT receive this call, it is the friend's sworn duty to call the police and report a problem. Very popular in a world where you meet someone from the internet who might be crazy.
2. A friend you can call when you want to evoid someone else. You can literally call and start a conversation mid-stream, and your friend knows what you're doing and plays along.
2. A friend you can call when you want to evoid someone else. You can literally call and start a conversation mid-stream, and your friend knows what you're doing and plays along.
1. Herbert, you'll have to uncuff me so I can make my safe call.
2. It may sound weird when Susan's on the phone, but that's because I'm her safe call.
2. It may sound weird when Susan's on the phone, but that's because I'm her safe call.
by Yet Another Josh Cohen October 28, 2005
Get the safe callmug.