volcanic crater

A sadistic sexual practice in which a male coats his penis in muscle-rub (a medicinal heat rub such as Deep Heat, Fiery Jack or Menthol-Balm) and then has anal sex with another person who is unaware that they are being injected with the muscle-rub. Within minutes, the recipient’s sphincter and rectum while become irritated and can be likened to a volcanic crater.
Dude 1: "Yo, I totally freaked out my girlfriend the other night!"
Dude 2: "How so?"
Dude 1: "I'd just come back from the gym, still had my Deep Heat in my pocket and gave her a volcanic crater for a laugh!"
by Wizards Sleeve December 26, 2005
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brown magician

A fellow who practices brown magic. In other words, a person who likes to ferret around up other blokes' butt-holes.
Dude 1: "Hey, that new guy in the team has been eyeing me up in the changing rooms."
Dude 2: "Watch out Dawg, he's a Brown Magician and he'll fuck yo' ass if he gets you in the showers!"
by Wizards Sleeve January 08, 2007
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rusty spine

A very long and hard shit. So long, you think you have shat your spine out.
Dude 1: "I am in agony. I just shat a rusty spine!"
Dude 2: "Hold on my man, I'll call 911!"
by Wizards Sleeve July 06, 2007
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hamster ball

A spherical see-through plastic ball in which you can place your hamster. The rodent can then navigate around your house, getting exercise.

One branch of modern philosophy asserts that everyone exists in a set of concentric hamster balls. The wider your world, the bigger the ball is. If you are depressive then your ball is very small. The challenge is to make your ball as big as possible. Eventually your hamster ball is so big you are no longer aware of it and you are free.
Psychiatrist: "Tell me about your worries."

Patient: "Man, my world is shit. My hamster ball is so small, I feel so bad. I know some fag is gonna stick me up his sorry ass one day."
by Wizards Sleeve June 27, 2005
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fuck custard

Thick semen. As found in good porno movies after the pop shot.
Dude 1: "I just watched 'Bukkake Cum Sluts Vol. 6' - man, I ain't seen so much fuck custard ever!"
Dude 2: "Dude, lend me that - NOW!"
by Wizards Sleeve July 14, 2007
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hearty handshake

Yet another term for a wank. This is where a chap goes off and gives his member a jolly good handshake. Popular with bored office workers around 4.00pm.
Dude 1: "I say, good day at the office old chap?"
Dude 2: "I'm afraid not. I had to give myself a hearty handshake to get me through the day."
by Wizards Sleeve October 08, 2006
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milfturbate

Verb. To stimulate the genitals whilst thinking of imagery of mature women. Strictly forbidden under Catholic doctrine.
Sinner: "Bless me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "Confess your sins my son and let the Lord see into your soul."
Sinner: "My mom had some of her friends round for a Women's Institute meeting and I was serving them tea and cakes. Later that night I indulged myself with a furious session of milfturbation in the bathroom thinking of them in their flouncy blouses."
Priest: "Wicked boy! Say three hundred Hail Marys and scrub your hands with bleach and steel wool!"
by Wizards Sleeve May 22, 2005
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