Waarlowe's definitions
(pronounced: “you-ace”)
Universe Unfolding As It Should
A theoretical phenomenon ensuring that ostensibly meaningless and even unfavorable events in one’s life will culminate in a positive outcome, as orchestrated by metaphysical forces that transcend human comprehension.
UUAIS is usually acknowledged in hindsight. The cosmic energies driving UUAIS are not perceptible elements that enable one to anticipate an occurrence characterized by UUAIS. However, recognizing mundane or trivial events as constituent to UUAIS, deliberately perceiving adverse events with neutrality, and acquiescing to the conditions of one’s immediate situation—all may lead to a more desirable future reality. Embracing the deterministic but auspicious aspects of UUAIS may invoke a Zen-like sense of equilibrium.
Coincidence, serendipity, and kismet are products of UUAIS. Despite its association with one’s personal sensory and cognitive experience, UUAIS ultimately applies to a comprehensive schema subsumed by every possible multiverse, substantiating the connected nature of all things organic and mineral. Whether or not this universal schema is preordained is unknown and thereby irrelevant.
UUAIS does not apply to devastating tragedies or negatively life-altering developments. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
(see also: silver lining)
Universe Unfolding As It Should
A theoretical phenomenon ensuring that ostensibly meaningless and even unfavorable events in one’s life will culminate in a positive outcome, as orchestrated by metaphysical forces that transcend human comprehension.
UUAIS is usually acknowledged in hindsight. The cosmic energies driving UUAIS are not perceptible elements that enable one to anticipate an occurrence characterized by UUAIS. However, recognizing mundane or trivial events as constituent to UUAIS, deliberately perceiving adverse events with neutrality, and acquiescing to the conditions of one’s immediate situation—all may lead to a more desirable future reality. Embracing the deterministic but auspicious aspects of UUAIS may invoke a Zen-like sense of equilibrium.
Coincidence, serendipity, and kismet are products of UUAIS. Despite its association with one’s personal sensory and cognitive experience, UUAIS ultimately applies to a comprehensive schema subsumed by every possible multiverse, substantiating the connected nature of all things organic and mineral. Whether or not this universal schema is preordained is unknown and thereby irrelevant.
UUAIS does not apply to devastating tragedies or negatively life-altering developments. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
(see also: silver lining)
Montrezl was severely bummed when he didn’t get the job at Pubetech in Cupertino, but as UUAIS would have it, a recruiter called out of the blue to offer him a job with higher pay, less stodgy corporate culture, and the option to work from home fulltime.
by Waarlowe March 21, 2021
Get the UUAIS mug.(Bayer-Day Happiness Index)*
The BDHI is assessed on a 10-point Likert scale with 10 being highest. The metric only applies to the very moment the assessment is made, inclusive of all concurrent variables impacting a person’s happiness. This entails environmental factors that affect immediate sensory perceptions such as comfort level (e.g., attending a conference in which the room is cold as fuck), general mood (e.g., annoyed by present company), and physiological status (e.g., well-rested, happily buzzed, remorsefully hungover, gassy, and so on). One’s BDHI assessment is subject to continuous fluctuation and volatility, as the reported score only pertains to the now.
Extreme psychometrics on the BDHI spectrum are: 1 = suicidal; 10 = ecstatic.**
* The BDHI was developed by Chris James Bayer and Chet Robert Day circa 2021.
** Bolth these scores on the continuum are very rare because they indicate a willingness to die (in the moment of nirvanic elation or crushing despair), but for opposite reasons.
The BDHI is assessed on a 10-point Likert scale with 10 being highest. The metric only applies to the very moment the assessment is made, inclusive of all concurrent variables impacting a person’s happiness. This entails environmental factors that affect immediate sensory perceptions such as comfort level (e.g., attending a conference in which the room is cold as fuck), general mood (e.g., annoyed by present company), and physiological status (e.g., well-rested, happily buzzed, remorsefully hungover, gassy, and so on). One’s BDHI assessment is subject to continuous fluctuation and volatility, as the reported score only pertains to the now.
Extreme psychometrics on the BDHI spectrum are: 1 = suicidal; 10 = ecstatic.**
* The BDHI was developed by Chris James Bayer and Chet Robert Day circa 2021.
** Bolth these scores on the continuum are very rare because they indicate a willingness to die (in the moment of nirvanic elation or crushing despair), but for opposite reasons.
CJB: “How are you today?”
Chet: “In what sense?”
CJB: “What’s your BDHI?”
Chet: “Oh. It’s about a 7.5.”
CJB: “Got it.”
Chet: “In what sense?”
CJB: “What’s your BDHI?”
Chet: “Oh. It’s about a 7.5.”
CJB: “Got it.”
by Waarlowe February 16, 2022
Get the BDHI mug.(Bayer-Peterschmidt Level of Disgust)
A psychosocial metric developed by Chris J. Bayer and Gene T. Peterschmidt in 2023 which presents respondents with a Likert-type scale, where 1 is lowest (level of disgust) and 10 is highest.
The disgust response can be triggered by events, people, or concepts—spanning the entire scope of contextual circumstance.
The Bayer-Peterschmidt Level of Disgust (BPLD) scale applies to any stimulus which invokes disgust and repugnance in the respondent. Scenarios range, for example, from smelling a stank-ass seafood dish in a restaurant, to sitting in mind-boggling traffic, to witnessing a bunch of middle-aged white people dancing to "It's Still Rock ‘n Roll to Me" by Billy Joel.
All data is qualitative, and based on lived experience.
When triggered to be disgusted, the subject’s visceral response will manifest on the following spectrum:
1 = Acknowledgement of problem.
2 = That’s a shame, but it is irrelevant to me.
3 = They (or it) are free to continue existing. Carry on.
4 = Suspicious, and possibly annoying.
5 = Unequivocal revulsion.
6 = Personally impacted and thereby pissed off.
7 = The perpetrator should be embarrassed, humiliated, or decommissioned.
8 = The perpetrator should have never been born, or manufactured.
9 = The perpetrator must be PUNISHED, and destroyed.
10 = ANGER.
A psychosocial metric developed by Chris J. Bayer and Gene T. Peterschmidt in 2023 which presents respondents with a Likert-type scale, where 1 is lowest (level of disgust) and 10 is highest.
The disgust response can be triggered by events, people, or concepts—spanning the entire scope of contextual circumstance.
The Bayer-Peterschmidt Level of Disgust (BPLD) scale applies to any stimulus which invokes disgust and repugnance in the respondent. Scenarios range, for example, from smelling a stank-ass seafood dish in a restaurant, to sitting in mind-boggling traffic, to witnessing a bunch of middle-aged white people dancing to "It's Still Rock ‘n Roll to Me" by Billy Joel.
All data is qualitative, and based on lived experience.
When triggered to be disgusted, the subject’s visceral response will manifest on the following spectrum:
1 = Acknowledgement of problem.
2 = That’s a shame, but it is irrelevant to me.
3 = They (or it) are free to continue existing. Carry on.
4 = Suspicious, and possibly annoying.
5 = Unequivocal revulsion.
6 = Personally impacted and thereby pissed off.
7 = The perpetrator should be embarrassed, humiliated, or decommissioned.
8 = The perpetrator should have never been born, or manufactured.
9 = The perpetrator must be PUNISHED, and destroyed.
10 = ANGER.
Example Score of 6 on the BPLD:
It pisses me off when old people enjoy eating a tomato. Like it’s some fucking delicacy. And they pronounce it “tomaduh.” Like, “Mmm (smacks lips), this is a good tomaduh.” Stop pretending to be some country bumpkin, and like you’re a pro at tasting tomatoes. Just fucking eat it and STFU.
It pisses me off when old people enjoy eating a tomato. Like it’s some fucking delicacy. And they pronounce it “tomaduh.” Like, “Mmm (smacks lips), this is a good tomaduh.” Stop pretending to be some country bumpkin, and like you’re a pro at tasting tomatoes. Just fucking eat it and STFU.
by Waarlowe July 30, 2023
Get the BPLD mug.by Waarlowe January 29, 2021
Get the tizz mug.honky dip (n.): a standard component of white people's smorgasbords on the dining room table whilst hosting social gatherings; aka, hummus
Brent: “Dude, you used a pretzel stick to draw a penis in the roasted red pepper honky dip.”
Chris: “I did.”
Chris: “I did.”
by Waarlowe August 10, 2023
Get the honky dip mug.(noun): a compulsive, chronic, psychological need to view TikTok videos, esp. frequently or for prolonged periods; the state of being Tikdicted
Tikdicted (adjective): the psychological phenomenon of being addicted to TikTok
© Copyright 2022 Chris James Bayer
Tikdicted (adjective): the psychological phenomenon of being addicted to TikTok
© Copyright 2022 Chris James Bayer
by Waarlowe March 29, 2022
Get the Tikdiction mug.shitstix!: (exclamation) :: c. 2022, New Knowltonese A mildly offensive exclamation of aggravation, disgust, or other form of piss-offedness. When written, "shitstix!" must always include an exclamation point (!) and also be italicized.
Well shitstix! Samus tugged on her leash, threw me off balance, and I fell back and landed in a perimitird.
by Waarlowe March 24, 2022
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