Waarlowe's definitions

perimiturd

perimiturd: (noun) :: c. 2022, New Knowltonese A dog turd lying beneath any structure, especially one with a continuous physical border (a perimeter). E.g., a building, fence, fire hydrant, park bench, etc.

Shitstix! Samus tugged her leash, threw me off balance, and I fell back against a telephone pole and landed in a perimiturd.

by Waarlowe March 24, 2022

shitstix!

shitstix!: (exclamation) :: c. 2022, New Knowltonese A mildly offensive exclamation of aggravation, disgust, or other form of piss-offedness. When written, "shitstix!" must always include an exclamation point (!) and also be italicized.

Well shitstix! Samus tugged on her leash, threw me off balance, and I fell back and landed in a perimitird.

by Waarlowe March 24, 2022

Tikdiction

(noun): a compulsive, chronic, psychological need to view TikTok videos, esp. frequently or for prolonged periods; the state of being Tikdicted

Tikdicted (adjective): the psychological phenomenon of being addicted to TikTok

© Copyright 2022 Chris James Bayer

My Tikdiction has spiraled out of control. It’s eating into the time I spend figuring out Wordle!

by Waarlowe March 29, 2022

rearrange

The act of an individual with male genitalia reaching into his (or her) drawls to physically move his (or her) dick and ballsack around in an effort to optimize comfort—usually whilst sitting down, and often performed in public.

Seated at the picnic table across from Aunt Phoebe, I found that my thighs were squishing my junk and I was kind of sitting on top of my Schwetty balls, so I had to rearrange.

by Waarlowe January 6, 2021

nunting

The Japanese word for nothing, usually stated in an aggressive and pissed-off way.

Jonathan: "Momma, can we stop at Dairy Queen and get some—?”
Momma: “You will get nunting and like it!”

by Waarlowe January 28, 2021

tizz

Minuscule flecks of vomit that spatter beyond the targeted barf zone.

“Jimmy, I’m afraid you have some tizz on your jacket from when Phat Kid ralphed on the bar.”

by Waarlowe January 29, 2021

vizzies

n. (always plural) :: boogers inside one's nose that are visible to others; bats in the cave

“Oh shit. Shirah is coming over this way. Do I have any vizzies?” asked Tommy.
“No, you’re good,” said Chris, lying to him.

by Waarlowe January 29, 2021