Waarlowe's definitions
(pronounced: “you-ace”)
Universe Unfolding As It Should
A theoretical phenomenon ensuring that ostensibly meaningless and even unfavorable events in one’s life will culminate in a positive outcome, as orchestrated by metaphysical forces that transcend human comprehension.
UUAIS is usually acknowledged in hindsight. The cosmic energies driving UUAIS are not perceptible elements that enable one to anticipate an occurrence characterized by UUAIS. However, recognizing mundane or trivial events as constituent to UUAIS, deliberately perceiving adverse events with neutrality, and acquiescing to the conditions of one’s immediate situation—all may lead to a more desirable future reality. Embracing the deterministic but auspicious aspects of UUAIS may invoke a Zen-like sense of equilibrium.
Coincidence, serendipity, and kismet are products of UUAIS. Despite its association with one’s personal sensory and cognitive experience, UUAIS ultimately applies to a comprehensive schema subsumed by every possible multiverse, substantiating the connected nature of all things organic and mineral. Whether or not this universal schema is preordained is unknown and thereby irrelevant.
UUAIS does not apply to devastating tragedies or negatively life-altering developments. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
(see also: silver lining)
Universe Unfolding As It Should
A theoretical phenomenon ensuring that ostensibly meaningless and even unfavorable events in one’s life will culminate in a positive outcome, as orchestrated by metaphysical forces that transcend human comprehension.
UUAIS is usually acknowledged in hindsight. The cosmic energies driving UUAIS are not perceptible elements that enable one to anticipate an occurrence characterized by UUAIS. However, recognizing mundane or trivial events as constituent to UUAIS, deliberately perceiving adverse events with neutrality, and acquiescing to the conditions of one’s immediate situation—all may lead to a more desirable future reality. Embracing the deterministic but auspicious aspects of UUAIS may invoke a Zen-like sense of equilibrium.
Coincidence, serendipity, and kismet are products of UUAIS. Despite its association with one’s personal sensory and cognitive experience, UUAIS ultimately applies to a comprehensive schema subsumed by every possible multiverse, substantiating the connected nature of all things organic and mineral. Whether or not this universal schema is preordained is unknown and thereby irrelevant.
UUAIS does not apply to devastating tragedies or negatively life-altering developments. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
(see also: silver lining)
Montrezl was severely bummed when he didn’t get the job at Pubetech in Cupertino, but as UUAIS would have it, a recruiter called out of the blue to offer him a job with higher pay, less stodgy corporate culture, and the option to work from home fulltime.
by Waarlowe March 21, 2021
Get the UUAIS mug.dickz (n.) = graphical depictions of the phallus in public venues (e.g., city walls, subways, railway trestles, bridges, street signs; bar/club bathrooms; greenspace/park murals; select church pews; pretty much anywhere you can think of); aka, penis graffiti
Word Origin: Scholarly and empirical evidence indicates this term was coined by Chris James Bayer in August 2023. Anecdotally, the word "dickz" proved to be useful in texting because Bayer used it repeatedly in text missives until his iPhone 13 learned the word was acceptable in its predictive algorithm, thereby precluding autocorrect from adjusting the word "dicks" to read "ducks," which pissed him off.
Word Origin: Scholarly and empirical evidence indicates this term was coined by Chris James Bayer in August 2023. Anecdotally, the word "dickz" proved to be useful in texting because Bayer used it repeatedly in text missives until his iPhone 13 learned the word was acceptable in its predictive algorithm, thereby precluding autocorrect from adjusting the word "dicks" to read "ducks," which pissed him off.
by Waarlowe August 10, 2023
Get the dickz mug.shitstix!: (exclamation) :: c. 2022, New Knowltonese A mildly offensive exclamation of aggravation, disgust, or other form of piss-offedness. When written, "shitstix!" must always include an exclamation point (!) and also be italicized.
Well shitstix! Samus tugged on her leash, threw me off balance, and I fell back and landed in a perimitird.
by Waarlowe March 24, 2022
Get the shitstix! mug.Jonathan: "Momma, can we stop at Dairy Queen and get some—?”
Momma: “You will get nunting and like it!”
Momma: “You will get nunting and like it!”
by Waarlowe January 28, 2021
Get the nunting mug.(Bayer-Day Happiness Index)*
The BDHI is assessed on a 10-point Likert scale with 10 being highest. The metric only applies to the very moment the assessment is made, inclusive of all concurrent variables impacting a person’s happiness. This entails environmental factors that affect immediate sensory perceptions such as comfort level (e.g., attending a conference in which the room is cold as fuck), general mood (e.g., annoyed by present company), and physiological status (e.g., well-rested, happily buzzed, remorsefully hungover, gassy, and so on). One’s BDHI assessment is subject to continuous fluctuation and volatility, as the reported score only pertains to the now.
Extreme psychometrics on the BDHI spectrum are: 1 = suicidal; 10 = ecstatic.**
* The BDHI was developed by Chris James Bayer and Chet Robert Day circa 2021.
** Bolth these scores on the continuum are very rare because they indicate a willingness to die (in the moment of nirvanic elation or crushing despair), but for opposite reasons.
The BDHI is assessed on a 10-point Likert scale with 10 being highest. The metric only applies to the very moment the assessment is made, inclusive of all concurrent variables impacting a person’s happiness. This entails environmental factors that affect immediate sensory perceptions such as comfort level (e.g., attending a conference in which the room is cold as fuck), general mood (e.g., annoyed by present company), and physiological status (e.g., well-rested, happily buzzed, remorsefully hungover, gassy, and so on). One’s BDHI assessment is subject to continuous fluctuation and volatility, as the reported score only pertains to the now.
Extreme psychometrics on the BDHI spectrum are: 1 = suicidal; 10 = ecstatic.**
* The BDHI was developed by Chris James Bayer and Chet Robert Day circa 2021.
** Bolth these scores on the continuum are very rare because they indicate a willingness to die (in the moment of nirvanic elation or crushing despair), but for opposite reasons.
CJB: “How are you today?”
Chet: “In what sense?”
CJB: “What’s your BDHI?”
Chet: “Oh. It’s about a 7.5.”
CJB: “Got it.”
Chet: “In what sense?”
CJB: “What’s your BDHI?”
Chet: “Oh. It’s about a 7.5.”
CJB: “Got it.”
by Waarlowe February 16, 2022
Get the BDHI mug.(noun): a compulsive, chronic, psychological need to view TikTok videos, esp. frequently or for prolonged periods; the state of being Tikdicted
Tikdicted (adjective): the psychological phenomenon of being addicted to TikTok
© Copyright 2022 Chris James Bayer
Tikdicted (adjective): the psychological phenomenon of being addicted to TikTok
© Copyright 2022 Chris James Bayer
by Waarlowe March 29, 2022
Get the Tikdiction mug.“Oh shit. Shirah is coming over this way. Do I have any vizzies?” asked Tommy.
“No, you’re good,” said Chris, lying to him.
“No, you’re good,” said Chris, lying to him.
by Waarlowe January 29, 2021
Get the vizzies mug.