12 definitions by Waarlowe
shitstix!: (exclamation) :: c. 2022, New Knowltonese A mildly offensive exclamation of aggravation, disgust, or other form of piss-offedness. When written, "shitstix!" must always include an exclamation point (!) and also be italicized.
Well shitstix! Samus tugged on her leash, threw me off balance, and I fell back and landed in a perimitird.
by Waarlowe March 25, 2022
(Bayer-Peterschmidt Level of Disgust)
A psychosocial metric developed by Chris J. Bayer and Gene T. Peterschmidt in 2023 which presents respondents with a Likert-type scale, where 1 is lowest (level of disgust) and 10 is highest.
The disgust response can be triggered by events, people, or concepts—spanning the entire scope of contextual circumstance.
The Bayer-Peterschmidt Level of Disgust (BPLD) scale applies to any stimulus which invokes disgust and repugnance in the respondent. Scenarios range, for example, from smelling a stank-ass seafood dish in a restaurant, to sitting in mind-boggling traffic, to witnessing a bunch of middle-aged white people dancing to "It's Still Rock ‘n Roll to Me" by Billy Joel.
All data is qualitative, and based on lived experience.
When triggered to be disgusted, the subject’s visceral response will manifest on the following spectrum:
1 = Acknowledgement of problem.
2 = That’s a shame, but it is irrelevant to me.
3 = They (or it) are free to continue existing. Carry on.
4 = Suspicious, and possibly annoying.
5 = Unequivocal revulsion.
6 = Personally impacted and thereby pissed off.
7 = The perpetrator should be embarrassed, humiliated, or decommissioned.
8 = The perpetrator should have never been born, or manufactured.
9 = The perpetrator must be PUNISHED, and destroyed.
10 = ANGER.
A psychosocial metric developed by Chris J. Bayer and Gene T. Peterschmidt in 2023 which presents respondents with a Likert-type scale, where 1 is lowest (level of disgust) and 10 is highest.
The disgust response can be triggered by events, people, or concepts—spanning the entire scope of contextual circumstance.
The Bayer-Peterschmidt Level of Disgust (BPLD) scale applies to any stimulus which invokes disgust and repugnance in the respondent. Scenarios range, for example, from smelling a stank-ass seafood dish in a restaurant, to sitting in mind-boggling traffic, to witnessing a bunch of middle-aged white people dancing to "It's Still Rock ‘n Roll to Me" by Billy Joel.
All data is qualitative, and based on lived experience.
When triggered to be disgusted, the subject’s visceral response will manifest on the following spectrum:
1 = Acknowledgement of problem.
2 = That’s a shame, but it is irrelevant to me.
3 = They (or it) are free to continue existing. Carry on.
4 = Suspicious, and possibly annoying.
5 = Unequivocal revulsion.
6 = Personally impacted and thereby pissed off.
7 = The perpetrator should be embarrassed, humiliated, or decommissioned.
8 = The perpetrator should have never been born, or manufactured.
9 = The perpetrator must be PUNISHED, and destroyed.
10 = ANGER.
Example Score of 6 on the BPLD:
It pisses me off when old people enjoy eating a tomato. Like it’s some fucking delicacy. And they pronounce it “tomaduh.” Like, “Mmm (smacks lips), this is a good tomaduh.” Stop pretending to be some country bumpkin, and like you’re a pro at tasting tomatoes. Just fucking eat it and STFU.
It pisses me off when old people enjoy eating a tomato. Like it’s some fucking delicacy. And they pronounce it “tomaduh.” Like, “Mmm (smacks lips), this is a good tomaduh.” Stop pretending to be some country bumpkin, and like you’re a pro at tasting tomatoes. Just fucking eat it and STFU.
by Waarlowe July 30, 2023
dickz (n.) = graphical depictions of the phallus in public venues (e.g., city walls, subways, railway trestles, bridges, street signs; bar/club bathrooms; greenspace/park murals; select church pews; pretty much anywhere you can think of); aka, penis graffiti
Word Origin: Scholarly and empirical evidence indicates this term was coined by Chris James Bayer in August 2023. Anecdotally, the word "dickz" proved to be useful in texting because Bayer used it repeatedly in text missives until his iPhone 13 learned the word was acceptable in its predictive algorithm, thereby precluding autocorrect from adjusting the word "dicks" to read "ducks," which pissed him off.
Word Origin: Scholarly and empirical evidence indicates this term was coined by Chris James Bayer in August 2023. Anecdotally, the word "dickz" proved to be useful in texting because Bayer used it repeatedly in text missives until his iPhone 13 learned the word was acceptable in its predictive algorithm, thereby precluding autocorrect from adjusting the word "dicks" to read "ducks," which pissed him off.
by Waarlowe August 11, 2023
honky dip (n.): a standard component of white people's smorgasbords on the dining room table whilst hosting social gatherings; aka, hummus
Brent: “Dude, you used a pretzel stick to draw a penis in the roasted red pepper honky dip.”
Chris: “I did.”
Chris: “I did.”
by Waarlowe August 11, 2023
(noun): a compulsive, chronic, psychological need to view TikTok videos, esp. frequently or for prolonged periods; the state of being Tikdicted
Tikdicted (adjective): the psychological phenomenon of being addicted to TikTok
© Copyright 2022 Chris James Bayer
Tikdicted (adjective): the psychological phenomenon of being addicted to TikTok
© Copyright 2022 Chris James Bayer
by Waarlowe March 30, 2022
(Bayer-Day Happiness Index)*
The BDHI is assessed on a 10-point Likert scale with 10 being highest. The metric only applies to the very moment the assessment is made, inclusive of all concurrent variables impacting a person’s happiness. This entails environmental factors that affect immediate sensory perceptions such as comfort level (e.g., attending a conference in which the room is cold as fuck), general mood (e.g., annoyed by present company), and physiological status (e.g., well-rested, happily buzzed, remorsefully hungover, gassy, and so on). One’s BDHI assessment is subject to continuous fluctuation and volatility, as the reported score only pertains to the now.
Extreme psychometrics on the BDHI spectrum are: 1 = suicidal; 10 = ecstatic.**
* The BDHI was developed by Chris James Bayer and Chet Robert Day circa 2021.
** Bolth these scores on the continuum are very rare because they indicate a willingness to die (in the moment of nirvanic elation or crushing despair), but for opposite reasons.
The BDHI is assessed on a 10-point Likert scale with 10 being highest. The metric only applies to the very moment the assessment is made, inclusive of all concurrent variables impacting a person’s happiness. This entails environmental factors that affect immediate sensory perceptions such as comfort level (e.g., attending a conference in which the room is cold as fuck), general mood (e.g., annoyed by present company), and physiological status (e.g., well-rested, happily buzzed, remorsefully hungover, gassy, and so on). One’s BDHI assessment is subject to continuous fluctuation and volatility, as the reported score only pertains to the now.
Extreme psychometrics on the BDHI spectrum are: 1 = suicidal; 10 = ecstatic.**
* The BDHI was developed by Chris James Bayer and Chet Robert Day circa 2021.
** Bolth these scores on the continuum are very rare because they indicate a willingness to die (in the moment of nirvanic elation or crushing despair), but for opposite reasons.
CJB: “How are you today?”
Chet: “In what sense?”
CJB: “What’s your BDHI?”
Chet: “Oh. It’s about a 7.5.”
CJB: “Got it.”
Chet: “In what sense?”
CJB: “What’s your BDHI?”
Chet: “Oh. It’s about a 7.5.”
CJB: “Got it.”
by Waarlowe February 16, 2022
“Oh shit. Shirah is coming over this way. Do I have any vizzies?” asked Tommy.
“No, you’re good,” said Chris, lying to him.
“No, you’re good,” said Chris, lying to him.
by Waarlowe January 30, 2021