Uncle Joosie's definitions

Resting Chud Hands

Elon Musk's "thinker" pose

Whenever Apartheid Clyde is on a panel or being interview by some right-wing fuckface, he places hands together with fingertips touching like he's "deep in thought" when in actuality he's a nudnik fucking high as a kite on Ketamine and uppers. Unlike Casino Mobster and Resting Vagina Hands, Resting Chud Hands is his way of conveying a false veneer of intellectual contemplation when in actuality he's just dumb as a fucking stump.

by Uncle Joosie March 28, 2025

Sane Washing

what New York Times does when it gets hold of an insane Trump soundbyte

Coined on Twitter by Aaron Rupar, Sane Washing happens when Casino Mobster Donald Trump speaks his usual nonsensical word salad and then "paper of record" New York Times cleans it up like a dirty vegetable and serves it up to readers as cogent thought.

by Uncle Joosie September 5, 2024

Baby needs a Benadryl

internal monologue of exhausted parents

Betty was startled awake by daughter Harriet for the 3rd time that night, and Betty, bleary-eyed, thought to herself "fucking hell Baby needs a Benadryl." But, knowing drugs are not the answer, Betty rocked her to sleep and put her back in bed.

by Uncle Joosie September 13, 2021

What brings you on?

that douchey, passive-aggressive Tinder question

after exchanging niceties and compliments with his new match, Bartholomew saw the dreaded "What brings you on?" pop up in his Tinder chat with Beatrice. "my fucking god," he thought, "why do people ask that dumb fucking question? what brings me on? I used my fingers swiping an app that probably sells my location data. fuck off, lady" and he immediately unmatched

by Uncle Joosie May 2, 2022

Sugar Chicken

like sugar daddy except as a young twink

on their third date, Titus and Benji went to a pricey Italian restaurant for a romantic dinner. Benji, 20 years younger, decided to pick up the $100 tab. later Titus called his best gal pal Karla to give her the dish and exclaimed "OMG I have a Sugar Chicken now!"

by Uncle Joosie May 24, 2019

Angry Tap

In a fit of Trump-related rage you write a perfect tweet and then Angry Tap the send button.

Carl was so pissed at Trump about revoking DACA that he opened twitter, wrote a joke and angry tapped the Tweet button.

by Uncle Joosie May 4, 2018

Chuck Todd Derangement Syndrome (CTDS)

Fully justified wave-of-fury affecting ALL "Meet the Press" viewers

Carl had seen "Meet the Press" one too many times. "why am I even allowing my DVR to tape this fucking garbage? Chuck Todd is a disgrace and obviously a mouthpiece for disgraced Qpublicans. what a fucking choad!" Carl exclaimed as he chucked his beer stein against the wall. poor Carl had Chuck Todd Derangement Syndrome (CTDS), so he decided to start a support group in his area.

by Uncle Joosie December 23, 2022