Uncle Joosie's definitions
Carla was watching CNN and saw Orange Twitler Donald Trump nominate Amy Coney Barrett to SCOTUS. "Fuck all this shit with Amy Foamy Barrett. George Carlin was right about pro-lifers being fake as fuck and all they want is to get excited that their Jesus is gonna come back to life"
by Uncle Joosie September 27, 2020
Get the Amy Foamy Barrettmug. those annoying fucksticks who use gas-powered blowers that pollute the planet and annoy TF outta everyone with noise disruption
Clyde was reading in his sunroom on a quiet Saturday when all of a sudden he heard the thunderous din of leaf-blower mafia blowing debris from his neighbors yard. the blow-and-go crew started at 7 a.m. and really got under Clyde's skin. "fucking hell, when are we gonna invent a quiet, electric version of the leaf blowers? these goddamned machines are annoying and terrible for the planet." Clyde put his earbuds in and kept reading.
by Uncle Joosie August 10, 2023
Get the Leaf-blower Mafiamug. Pete Doocy—Fixed Noise asshole "correspondent" and press-pool troll—asked Jen Psaki if she considered network's christmas tree burning to be a mark on Biden's record. her Drop a Doocy reply: "have you checked Murdoch's whereabouts? probably an inside job. next question"
by Uncle Joosie December 13, 2021
Get the Drop a Doocymug. With the attention span of a mentally addled fruit fly, political reporters like Ken fucking Vogel and Sally fucking Buzbee get tired of covering the same things every day. When Vivek Rama-smarmy started running they screamed "he's the new Jesus!" when in actuality he was and is a lead balloon—made famous by bored, agitated journalists. When tasked with covering Mueller Report during Tangerine Jesus' 4-year reign of terror, reporters got anxious and fidgety which is when Bored Journalist Syndrome was born.
by Uncle Joosie January 22, 2024
Get the Bored Journalist Syndromemug. Louis, a mild-mannered demure guy, had just started dating horny, hung Dave. Louis wanted to "take things slow" and not fornicate right away. This gave Dave frustrated blue balls. One day after work they were heading upstairs and Dave grabbed Louis and went to the bathroom, where he pulled Louis' hand around and together they jerked Dave off leaving Driveby Knuckle Children all over the bathroom.
by Uncle Joosie March 20, 2024
Get the Driveby Knuckle Childrenmug. in recent testimony, Brett said he was super sure he's never sexually assaulted anyone and started phony kavanaugh tears when realizing his dream to get on the supreme court was going down the shitter.
by Uncle Joosie September 27, 2018
Get the kavanaugh tearsmug. trump earned Casino Mobster nickname when he spent billions of dollars, in the freakin' 90s, to build a shithole casino in New Jersey—with tons money-laundering allegations—only to have the whole thing go bankrupt in the end.
by Uncle Joosie January 12, 2024
Get the Casino Mobstermug.