Excuse Spaghetti

feeble attempts to explain away SignalGate scandal
Mike Waltz appeared on Laura Ingraham's White Power Hour on Fixed Noise to toss Excuse Spaghetti on the wall to see what stuck. Waltz, dancing as fast as he could, suggested that Atlantic publisher Jeff Goldberg "infiltrated" the Signal chat rather than being added to it—even though receipts show the latter to be the stone-cold truth.
by Uncle Joosie March 27, 2025
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Polluticrats

Fossil fuel Petroligarchs hellbent on wrecking the planet
In a recent well-heeled klan rally at MobALago, donny trump asked fossil-fuel executives for campaign cash, and the Polluticrats were poised and ready to deliver the cash... probably in plastic bags to a mob fixer.
by Uncle Joosie May 15, 2024
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nikki's a maybe

Brett Kavanaugh-type calendar entry indicating sex is imminent
oh shit I just read nikki's a maybe on Brett Kavanaugh's calendar so he was definitely planning on getting some strange
by Uncle Joosie September 26, 2018
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Eva Brawny

interchangeable name for female spouses of fascist Qpublican men
Jocelynn was watching the news and saw Melanoma Trump flash by the screen. "oh shit, there goes Eva Brawny again." her roommate Carol chimed in and said "wait, hode up: I thought that was Kim Guilfoyle?" Jocelynn, not missing a beat, retorted "well, Eva Brawny broadly applies to any wife of a male fascist. Casey DeSantis, who is corrupt AF just like Ronald, is the latest one"
by Uncle Joosie May 20, 2023
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SignalGate

Worst national-security scandal in American history
Casino Mobster's administration, teeming with unqualified-Kremlin hacks, used Signal to discuss a bombing campaign in Yemen and inadvertently added a high-profile journalist to the group chat—who then proceeded to publish receipts of the conversation he saw. SignalGate scandal was born, implicating all of Donald Trump's compromised assets like Whiskey Pete and Tulski Gabbard.
by Uncle Joosie March 27, 2025
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Alleagues

accidental mashup of "allies" and "colleagues" from dopey Qpublicans trying to sound smart
Lauren "Qbert" Boebert had a visit with Fixed Noise and said "my Alleagues in congress will come around" to our radical policies nobody likes. after that verbal diarrhea, Qbert went and did a live hit on OANN.
by Uncle Joosie January 09, 2023
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Wrath of Khwax

what falls out after severe-ear occlusion
Jamie was painfully clogged in one ear and decided to take matters in his own hands. He jumped in the shower and sprayed the handheld nozzle in his ear. just then he felt a dislodging and something brown and globby fell to the shower floor. He screamed out to roommate Barry "OH MY GOD THAT'S LIKE SOMETHING FROM WRATH OF KHAN!!" Barry, grossed out, stopped eating his bowl of cereal and shouted back "Wrath of Khwax yes I've had a few of those"
by Uncle Joosie October 03, 2020
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