Definitions by Uncle Joosie
Dark Garland
One day after transnational mobster and criminal The Former Guy demanded DOJ release the warrant to search his Florida shithole, Dark Garland stepped to the podium and said “I’ve authorized release of the warrant so America can see how royally fucked you are. your move, traitor”
Dark Garland by Uncle Joosie August 11, 2022
Bannister Boy
Gay roommates Carl & Tim were sitting around watching the news, learning that Jarvanka wasn't totally truthful about their 1/6 testimony. Carl turned to Tim and said, "that Jared Kushner needs to be bent over a bannister and plowed by a BBC." Tim agreed, saying "Bannister Boy. absolutely"
Bannister Boy by Uncle Joosie June 22, 2022
Flasher's Wife
Lauren Boebert
Lauren "Qbert" Boebert's husband exposed himself to underage girls in a bowling alley, which makes her The Flasher's Wife
Flasher's Wife by Uncle Joosie May 12, 2022
DeSanTAX
"DeSanTAX is the price Floridians pay for Ronald Dion DerpSantis' retaliation against Florida businesses that don't follow his petulant man-child demands"—embellished meme produced by Crist campaign
DeSanTAX by Uncle Joosie May 9, 2022
What brings you on?
after exchanging niceties and compliments with his new match, Bartholomew saw the dreaded "What brings you on?" pop up in his Tinder chat with Beatrice. "my fucking god," he thought, "why do people ask that dumb fucking question? what brings me on? I used my fingers swiping an app that probably sells my location data. fuck off, lady" and he immediately unmatched
What brings you on? by Uncle Joosie May 2, 2022
Window Cancer
Sergei Lukmanov, Russian billionaire with 9 yachts and 16 vacation homes, "earned" his billions via oil & gas in Russian region of Siberia. After Putin invaded Ukraine and committed countless atrocities Vlad needed scapegoats so Sergei accidentally tripped and fell out a 20-story building in the latest occurrence of stage 4 Window Cancer. sad.
Window Cancer by Uncle Joosie April 25, 2022
Gender-lazy Polliwog
During TFG aka The Former Guy's regime, demure and meek Jared Kushner received illegal security clearance and committed like hundreds of felonies. When Carla saw him saunter out the White House for the last time, she exclaimed "bye, Gender-lazy Polliwog, ya little cunt. now run along and wait until you're indicted"
Gender-lazy Polliwog by Uncle Joosie April 9, 2022