Definitions by Uncle Joosie

kavanaugh tears 

like crocodile tears but from a lying asshole

in recent testimony, Brett said he was super sure he's never sexually assaulted anyone and started phony kavanaugh tears when realizing his dream to get on the supreme court was going down the shitter.

kavanaugh tears by Uncle Joosie September 27, 2018

nikki's a maybe 

Brett Kavanaugh-type calendar entry indicating sex is imminent

oh shit I just read nikki's a maybe on Brett Kavanaugh's calendar so he was definitely planning on getting some strange

nikki's a maybe by Uncle Joosie September 26, 2018

cement gums 

when your dental hygiene resembles Brett Kavanaugh's

jesus fucking christ Tim have you brushed lately? cuz you have visible brown teeth and cement gums

cement gums by Uncle Joosie September 26, 2018

shekel greene 

when fuckface Eric Trump attempts comedy.

on his anti-semitic Shekel Greene tour Eric "I'm gummy dammit" Trump said "Bob Woodward's desperate to earn 3 extra shekels with his book 'Fear'." Twitter immediately sent Eric to his room with no supper.

shekel greene by Uncle Joosie September 13, 2018

cuntdate 

update from a cunty person.

exasperated, Larry hung up the phone and groaned. his roommate, Karl, asked him what was wrong. "what's up bro?"

"Ugh, I just got a cuntdate from Cindy. she's been fucking Barry so we broke up."

cuntdate by Uncle Joosie August 31, 2018

why-fy 

when Cletus finds an open Wi-fi signal in Alabama.

"yee haw I got me some why-fy at the 7-11 today y'all!"

why-fy by Uncle Joosie August 1, 2018

Pencey Summer 

Summer of 2018 with a smell of treason in the air.

VP Mikey Pence's self-loathing, ideology and phony christianity have guaranteed we're gonna have a Pencey Summer—when the Russia scandal comes crashing down upon the entire Trump cabinet.

Pencey Summer by Uncle Joosie July 27, 2018