Uncle Joosie's definitions

Stretch & Shake

A body reset for a dog.

When Brady the lab got up from sleeping he did a stretch & shake to wake himself up.

by Uncle Joosie May 20, 2018

Faulty Walnut

dysfunctional prostate

Bob was having trouble peeing and, after a physical showed high PSA levels, his doc broke the news. “you have prostate cancer but it’s very treatable.” Bob went home and told wife Barb about his faulty walnut.

by Uncle Joosie March 23, 2022

Amy Foamy Barrett

frothy excitement from fake conservatives when nutbags get nominated to SCOTUS

Carla was watching CNN and saw Orange Twitler Donald Trump nominate Amy Coney Barrett to SCOTUS. "Fuck all this shit with Amy Foamy Barrett. George Carlin was right about pro-lifers being fake as fuck and all they want is to get excited that their Jesus is gonna come back to life"

by Uncle Joosie September 27, 2020

Phone-noser

Assholes who walk with their nose in their phones—while crossing the street, dog-walking, driving or at the gym. Phone-nosers are the fuckers who'd crash right into you if *you weren't the one paying attention.

Carlotta's blood pressure rose when she saw a phone-noser almost get hit by a car while crossing the street with his dog.

by Uncle Joosie September 18, 2017

shekel greene

when fuckface Eric Trump attempts comedy.

on his anti-semitic Shekel Greene tour Eric "I'm gummy dammit" Trump said "Bob Woodward's desperate to earn 3 extra shekels with his book 'Fear'." Twitter immediately sent Eric to his room with no supper.

by Uncle Joosie September 13, 2018

Drop a Doocy

when Press Secretary Jen Psaki runs Peter Doocy through the woodchipper

Pete Doocy—Fixed Noise asshole "correspondent" and press-pool troll—asked Jen Psaki if she considered network's christmas tree burning to be a mark on Biden's record. her Drop a Doocy reply: "have you checked Murdoch's whereabouts? probably an inside job. next question"

by Uncle Joosie December 13, 2021

Leaf-blower Mafia

those annoying fucksticks who use gas-powered blowers that pollute the planet and annoy TF outta everyone with noise disruption

Clyde was reading in his sunroom on a quiet Saturday when all of a sudden he heard the thunderous din of leaf-blower mafia blowing debris from his neighbors yard. the blow-and-go crew started at 7 a.m. and really got under Clyde's skin. "fucking hell, when are we gonna invent a quiet, electric version of the leaf blowers? these goddamned machines are annoying and terrible for the planet." Clyde put his earbuds in and kept reading.

by Uncle Joosie August 10, 2023