in recent testimony, Brett said he was super sure he's never sexually assaulted anyone and started phony kavanaugh tears when realizing his dream to get on the supreme court was going down the shitter.
by Uncle Joosie September 27, 2018
Get the kavanaugh tears mug.Louis, a mild-mannered demure guy, had just started dating horny, hung Dave. Louis wanted to "take things slow" and not fornicate right away. This gave Dave frustrated blue balls. One day after work they were heading upstairs and Dave grabbed Louis and went to the bathroom, where he pulled Louis' hand around and together they jerked Dave off leaving Driveby Knuckle Children all over the bathroom.
by Uncle Joosie March 20, 2024
Get the Driveby Knuckle Children mug.Cletus the HysteriCon heard about a baker being forced to make a cake for a gay wedding and was so enraged that he camped outside the bakery with a gun; wrote a letter to the editor; and upvoted some nazi posts on Reddit.
by Uncle Joosie May 19, 2018
Get the HysteriCon mug.Sparky the terrier had Doggie ADD (DADD) *so bad* that he couldn't walk straight on the sidewalk or finish his meal without being distracted by a squirrel.
by Uncle Joosie July 15, 2018
Get the Doggie ADD (DADD) mug.At a recent White House Press Briefing, journalists whined to Karine Jean-Pierre about not having enough pizazz, bells and whistles to keep their attention and on reporter said "but trump used to come in to talk to us!" those dickbags have Bored Journalist Syndrome and need to take up a fucking hobby if they miss the fascist so much.
by Uncle Joosie July 09, 2024
Get the Bored Journalist Syndrome mug.appearing outside a New York courthouse after one of his 6,000 trials, guiltiest-mutherfucker donald scrump waved his tiny hands around doing the Mob Accordion which is always a sure sign he's lying and afraid of going to prison.
by Uncle Joosie October 05, 2023
Get the Mob Accordion mug.An alert popped up on Lauren's phone one morning that she thought was an eggplant; when she opened it Lauren realized she'd just received an very impressive Prime Meat Text from Bezos, Amazon's Founder.
by Uncle Joosie June 20, 2019
Get the Prime Meat Text mug.