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author is open to hearing about dead batteries 

an AO3 tag for smut fanfiction meaning the author of said fic is open to hearing about readers masturbating to the fic.
"its fine to tell me that you jerked off to my fics as long as the fic has the author is open to hearing about dead batteries tag."

European hearing aid 

Having sex with the gaugeearrings in a woman's ear. May require lube. Also see gauge rage.
Garett: Hey man, Cindy just got gauges.
Doug: what are u planning on doing with them?
Garett: European hearing aid!
Doug: be care full, you don't wana chaf.
European hearing aid by Dbu June 7, 2013

fake hearing 

A term utilized in an attempt to discredit whatever may come to light in a hearing that has the potential to blow the lid off something illegal.
You are a liar Mr. Cohen and this is a fake hearing; that you were lying for the US President for ten years is a small matter indeed.
fake hearing by Dr Bunnygirl February 28, 2019

Photographic Hearing

The ability to recall past events vividly and accurately using your ability to hear.
That dumb ass nigga just told his buddy that he has Photographic Hearing.

Hearing Aid 

Derogatory term for a Bluetooth earpiece worn by anyone over 40 years old in the sad belief that it makes them look cool. Seen from the opposite side, it makes them look like an old person suffering from semile dementia and talking to themselves.
Middle-aged woman apparently talking to herself in park.
Guy: "What's up with grandma over there?"
Girl: "She's on her hearing aid again to her daughter."
Hearing Aid by Uncle Des August 21, 2009

Disciplinary Hearing 

Something you'll be called to at some point during your working life.

It'll be sold to you as an opportunity to state your case, but in reality the outcome will have been decided weeks before you go to the meeting.

You are strongly advised to take appropriate action and treat the hearing with the scorn and derision it deserves.
HR Manager:

We investegated our concerns that you'd been sleeping with our new secretary in the stationery cupboard and found grounds to convene a disciplinary hearing. Do you have anything to say?

Employee:

Man, she was a Brett Hart - the best there was, the best there is and the best there ever will be.

HR Manager:

I don't think you realise the seriousness of the allegations against you. I'd suggest you reconsider your comments.

Employee:

Do you think there's enough room to fit a four poster bed in there?

The floor's uncomfortable.

HR Manager escorts employee off the premises.

Manager:

Do you think he knew he was screwed before the meeting?

HR Manager:

Sounds like he was well screwed. That secretary looks like a dirty slut. I'm already looking forward to 'discipling' her.
More from Urban Dictionary
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
Literally "dirty" pronounced with a West Indian accent. Can also have a positive connotation, for example Sean Paul's album title "Dutty Rock".
"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"
Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003
Word of the Day on October 1, 2026
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