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Definitions by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm

Heard it threw the rapevine 

When your friend, roommate, sibling, offspring, etc...are so drunk or high, they sound like they are getting raped while they masturbate in the other room.
Tyrant: yo, i just bought you a rape kit on amazon prime. I don’t know how you are feeling, but it’s the least I could do. I’m sorry.

Big Easy: the f you talking about?

Tyrant: I know you got raped last night. I heard it threw the rapevine.

Welcum Reception 

When you haven’t seen your significant other in a long time so you wait for him/her with open arms and your cock flopping around in the wind waiting to release the build up of splooge all over their face or tits.
Tyrant: I hate the fact that my girlfriend lives on campuss cause I never bang and always have to wack my lil pecker.

Big Easy: when she cums home you should throw her a nice welcum reception and shower her with tiny little pearly white gifts!
Referring to Scissors, which specific design is to cut objects, jizzors refers to somebody's sperm that is so potent, whether it be from eating to many citric foods, or from certain medicines, or from too much liquor intake, that when it hits the victim, it starts to cut through their flesh. These cumshots are very common in or around the pussy & asshole, the tits, the back, and the eyelids.
Tyrant: You ever notice how that one partner in our firm eats like 8 oranges a day? I wonder if he ever gets jizzors?

Big Easy: Have you seen his wife? She has welds all over her face. It's like he is melting a candle overtop of her.

The Blue Falcum 

The act of shoving a blueberry or 6 up your wiener hole, jacking off and firing a nice hot chunky blue load all over your hoe.
Big Easy: Yo bro, you see the new Avengers trailer with The Blue Falcon?

Tyrant: Nope, but I did shove 14 blueberries in my peepee hole before I banged this chick at the bar last night and pulled out and gave her The Blue Falcum.

ASSassurinate 

The act of murdering the nostrils of many people in a crowded area by placing a big gulp filled with asparagus piss and a frozen shit log in a low key spot and allowing the musTURD gas to thaw. If done in an enclosed area, should result in roughly 11-19 people throwing up in less than an hour after placement.
Tyrant: What you do this weekend?

Big Easy: I am going to hell. I assassurinated like 50-60 people at Toy Story 4 yesterday.

Tyrant: The fuck is that?

Big Easy: I placed a 17 inch deuce into a 42 oz big gulp slushy full of asparagus piss and placed right under the seat in the third row. It was horrific. So much puke. It was all fun and games until 6 year old's were puking on their infant siblings, and the parents were pushing chunks from the sight and smell of it all. Gonna be hard to whack off tonight.

Overmature Ejaculation 

Stemming from the premature ejaculation, this is the exact opposite. This occurs after wacking off or banging someone of something and not being able to nut. Several minutes, hours, even days later you randomly fire your juicy load unprovoked.
Big Cheesy: Dude, I don't know what is wrong with me. I am randomly shooting loads in my pants and not able to nut when I hack my wee wee or plow my wife. This ever happen to you?

T-Rex: Nope: You may wan... did you just cum?

Big Cheesy: SEE!!!

T-Rex: You might suffer from overmature ejaculation son.

Evil Kuntevel 

Referring to the dare devil "Evil Kinevel" that would jump 87 school buses, fall, break 212 bones, recover, then add another bus to clear, this is a term that refers to a cuneiving slut that bangs as many guys as she can and purposely breaks their dicks during the process.
Big Easy: Sup Gaber tooth tiger, the fuck you walking like you took 16 dicks in the shitter?

Tryant: I had the worst sex last night. This Evil Kuntevel whore rode me like a cowboy in Texas than just snapped my dick in 2.

Big Easy: No homo, can I see?