Uncle Gary's Potato Farm's definitions

Jit Pack

When a female, usually a filthy whore, gets double penetrated (in both holes), and each guy blows their respective loads inside. The female then stands up and simultaneously rips a hot fart and a queef resulting in 2 powerful streams off jit (cum) shooting ferociously downwards resembling someone wearing a jet pack during take off.

Slut: Hello, I need my carpets cleaned. The stains are massive and in 2 spots.

Carpet Cleaning Service: How did this happen mam?

Slut: Well I guess you can say I rode the jit pack.

Carpet Cleaning Service: This doesn't explain how it happened.

Slut: Fine. Timmy and Earl put there 6 inch veiny meat whistles into my ass and cunt and busted a gooey nut into each. I stood up and ripped ass and vag and shot 2 ropes of jit all over the rug.

Carpet Cleaning Service: Now that explains it. (pukes)

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm May 26, 2017

Five finger death cuntch

The act of getting violently fisted by a person wearing several rings. These rings end up catching some pussy flaps and ripping the snatch to shreds.

Tyrant: god I hope she doesn’t die.

Big Easy: ummmm what?

Tyrant: I gave this whore a five finger death cuntch cd and now she is on life support at Jefferson hospital.

Big Easy: o bloody hell...

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm December 20, 2019

Fire Sextingsquisher

When you have so much cum, that you could put out a 13 story apartment complex if it were burning to the ground in a fiery ablaze with one single cum shot.

T-mad: dude I haven’t jacked off in like 4 days.

Big Cheesey: holy fuck dude. I can’t go more than 9 hours or I have to fuck my pillows or something.

T-mad: yea man my balls are gigantic rn. I feel like I could use my Cock for a Fire Sextingsquisher if need be.

Big Cheesey: There’s an industrial building in flames on broad rn. Go be a hero.

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm June 20, 2020

Queef Stroganoff

The act of basically inhaling a vaginal belch while munching on some carpet.

Stoney: does your hoe queef when your pounding her?

Big Easy: all the time man. The worst is when she does it when I eat her out.

Stoney: We’ve all had our fair share of queef stroganoff.

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm January 27, 2019

Cumlesterol

Cumlesterol is the buildup of jizz in your dick hole. High cumlesterol results from excessive nutting whether it be from sex or pumping off, and a portion of sperm continues to remain in the urethra and not be sprayed out.

Dude: Question. After you beat off, is it hard for you to take a piss afterwards?

Friend: I spank my meat so much, it is hard for me to piss at any given time from my high cumlesterol levels.

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm June 22, 2017

Heard it threw the rapevine

When your friend, roommate, sibling, offspring, etc...are so drunk or high, they sound like they are getting raped while they masturbate in the other room.

Tyrant: yo, i just bought you a rape kit on amazon prime. I don’t know how you are feeling, but it’s the least I could do. I’m sorry.

Big Easy: the f you talking about?

Tyrant: I know you got raped last night. I heard it threw the rapevine.

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm November 16, 2019

Happy Gilmored

Happy Gilmore is known for the way he takes 6-7 steps up to his golf ball before driving it further than humanly possible. Happy Gilmoring/Happy Gilmored piggy backs off this idea in that you take your fully erect penis and sprint right towards the bent over ass of the person you are trying to have sex with. The intent is to have your dick go further up the vagina/asshole than any other cock that has been in there in the past.

Dude: Yo man my chick drank so much and passed out leaning on the bed last night.

Friend: Did you do anything weird to her?

Dude: Weird? No. But I happy Gilmored the shit outta that ass. Got like 3 inches deep!

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm May 18, 2017