133 definitions by Uncle Joosie
after Election Day 2018 when America partially rid itself of incompetent racist complicit cheating republicans
2018's Midterm Elections' Blue Tsunami was actually a blue douche where a good portion GOP fuckers were flushed out for a new Democratic congress
by Uncle Joosie May 3, 2019
Clyde was visiting gal pal and single mum Cindy, who's 8-month-old Horatio was Clyde's nephew. As always they went in the bedroom to play Earthquake Baby with Horatio and the baby bounced so high he nearly sprang right off the bed and on the floor. "Whew that was a close one," Cindy and Clyde said together. "Let's never speak of this again."
by Uncle Joosie February 1, 2021
"Digitization supercharges financialization," writes Cory Doctorow about Autoenshittification. "amid all the complaining about cars getting stuck in the Internet of Shit, there's still not much discussion of why the carmakers are making their products less attractive, less reliable, less safe, and less resilient by stuffing them full of microchips"
by Uncle Joosie July 24, 2023
repressed stuck-up Christian Mike Pence—JC Penney catalog-idea of almost-handsome—debated Kamala Harris and had a house fly land on his head. When the fly's regurgitation interacted with Pence's hairspray he instantly transformed into Fly Girl Pence; filed for divorce from Karen; and admitted being in a long-term affair with a fella named Eduardo.
by Uncle Joosie October 8, 2020
after exchanging niceties and compliments with his new match, Bartholomew saw the dreaded "What brings you on?" pop up in his Tinder chat with Beatrice. "my fucking god," he thought, "why do people ask that dumb fucking question? what brings me on? I used my fingers swiping an app that probably sells my location data. fuck off, lady" and he immediately unmatched
by Uncle Joosie May 2, 2022
Carl had seen "Meet the Press" one too many times. "why am I even allowing my DVR to tape this fucking garbage? Chuck Todd is a disgrace and obviously a mouthpiece for disgraced Qpublicans. what a fucking choad!" Carl exclaimed as he chucked his beer stein against the wall. poor Carl had Chuck Todd Derangement Syndrome (CTDS), so he decided to start a support group in his area.
by Uncle Joosie December 23, 2022
Cletus adorned his white rape getaway van with so many CNN sucks, Hillary 4 Prison & MAGA stickers the vehicle looked like breitbart on wheels
by Uncle Joosie October 26, 2018