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That long painful moment when you're taking a huge shit, but no feces comes out. It's almost like diarrhea, except your stomach is literally tearing apart within the insides. This phenomenon lasts about 2-4 hours, depending on the severity of the condition. Common side effects include nausea, homophobia, misogyny, fascism, and conservatism.
*Exists bathroom*
Me: Dude...I just totally suffered in there.
Friend: What happened bro?
Me: I had a long Mike Pence
Friend: Aw dude, I know how you feel. Mike Pences are so painful and horrible.
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by nairobibitch July 19, 2016
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1. The current vice president of the United States

2. An excellent fire bender who has mastered the art of lightning bending and uses his powers to "fix" homosexuals
Hey, Mike pence could you shock the gay out of me?
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by Just a Pastafarian March 06, 2017
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Mike Pence
/mΔ«k, pens/
noun
noun: Mike Pence; plural noun: Mike Pences; informal: Pence; informal plural: Pences;

1.

a devotee of a Donald J Trump, cause, or activity.

"not a freethinker and a follower of Trump"

synonyms: bitch, henchman, minion, lackey, servant, sidekick

"the President's closest 'Mike Pence'"

disciple, apostle, supporter, defender, champion;

believer, true believer, worshiper

"a follower of Donald J Trump"

fan, enthusiast, admirer, devotee, lover, supporter, adherent

"followers of Donald J Trump's idiocies"

2.

a person who moves or travels behind Donald J Trump.

3.

A.

a person who hates the sexual choices of others despite his own sexual appetite pertaining to bestiality.

synonyms: hypocrite

B.

a person who hates or fears homosexual people
1.

A.

Formal: Man, this guy is a crazy Mike Pence, look at him getting wet listening to that bigot!;

Informal: Look at those idiots kissing Donald J Trump's Ass, they are a bunch of Pences!

B.

Barb E. Dahl: Why would John agree with the President's racist remarks, Ken?

Ken Dahl: Well Barb, he is an absolute Mike Pence.
2.
Look at how he is attached to Donald Trump's ass; he is a total Mike Pence.
3.

A.

Neil: Look at how he treats the other people's sexual choices!

Bob: I don't know why, because he fucks donkeys.

Swalla: What a Mike Pence!

B.

Donald Trump has reversed protections for the LGBTQIA community showing his true Mike Pence colors.
by Lefty Wing Snowflake August 18, 2017
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A form of sodomy. But instead of finishing in your gay partner's butthole you pull out and wedge your Pence between their buttcheeks and bun fuck them until you come on their back. Also called a chill cheese dog between two buns.
I can't believe he Mike Penced me. Now I have Mike on my back that I can't reach. I need to take a shower.
by Red E. Todye October 12, 2018
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