That long painful moment when you're taking a huge shit, but no feces comes out. It's almost like diarrhea, except your stomach is literally tearing apart within the insides. This phenomenon lasts about 2-4 hours, depending on the severity of the condition. Common side effects include nausea, homophobia, misogyny, fascism, and conservatism.
*Exists bathroom*
Me: Dude...I just totally suffered in there.
Friend: What happened bro?
Me: I had a long Mike Pence
Friend: Aw dude, I know how you feel. Mike Pences are so painful and horrible.
by nairobibitch July 19, 2016
Get the Mike Pence mug.
1. The current vice president of the United States

2. An excellent fire bender who has mastered the art of lightning bending and uses his powers to "fix" homosexuals
Hey, Mike pence could you shock the gay out of me?
by Just a Pastafarian March 7, 2017
Get the Mike Pence mug.
A closeted homosexual that can’t except the fact that he is gay. So instead of never coming out, he just electrocutes others into being “straight”. He’s also Vice President next to Jackass president Donald Trump. (Donald used to be a Democrat.)
I used to be gay, but ever since I’ve been Mike Penced’. I am now happily married to my wife, Cheryl. Who I will cheat on 2 years later with a hunky, foreign male model. Because gay conversion therapy has never worked.
Get the Mike Pence mug.
A form of sodomy. But instead of finishing in your gay partner's butthole you pull out and wedge your Pence between their buttcheeks and bun fuck them until you come on their back. Also called a chill cheese dog between two buns.
I can't believe he Mike Penced me. Now I have Mike on my back that I can't reach. I need to take a shower.
by Red E. Todye October 13, 2018
Get the Mike Pence mug.
A homosexual slang for a boring penis.

A Mike Pence can get hard and tries to find its way between male butt cheeks but always gets turned down in the end.
I was hoping to get fucked so hard that I'll scream and dream about it, but he pulled out Mike Pence instead.
by Johnronjohnson January 24, 2022
Get the Mike Pence mug.
(verb) To make someone feel like they shouldn't be left alone with you in a room.
Damn girl, you're Mike Pence-ing me hard right now!
by cinnamoner January 17, 2019
Get the Mike Pence mug.