Definitions by Ubeenbamboozledson
"Cuss"tomer
"Cuss"tomer by Ubeenbamboozledson July 2, 2022
July 1
The day where woke companies stop pretending to like gay people and reveal that they only do it for the money. People still fall for it every year.
July 1 by Ubeenbamboozledson July 1, 2022
Lunk Alarm
An utterly stupid alarm in Planet Fitness gyms that goes off when people are "too loud" and therefore "making the other people in the building 'uncomfortable.'"
There are numerous problems with the "Lunk Alarm" that make it not only idiotic, but also extremely dangerous:
1. The alarm can be triggered by the sound of people grunting or racking weights, which is to be expected in a gym. Also, in a viral Youtube video, it was revealed that merely dropping a PEN on the ground triggers it. "Really? A pen?"
2. The alarm is VERY LOUD, like an air raid siren. It's also very abrupt, which can startle people and make them drop their weights, potentially causing serious injuries.
3. In a gym that takes pride in not judging people, this alarm is judgmental by definition. "Lunk" is short for "Lunkhead," which is a derogatory term for someone who is slow-witted or stupid.
There are numerous problems with the "Lunk Alarm" that make it not only idiotic, but also extremely dangerous:
1. The alarm can be triggered by the sound of people grunting or racking weights, which is to be expected in a gym. Also, in a viral Youtube video, it was revealed that merely dropping a PEN on the ground triggers it. "Really? A pen?"
2. The alarm is VERY LOUD, like an air raid siren. It's also very abrupt, which can startle people and make them drop their weights, potentially causing serious injuries.
3. In a gym that takes pride in not judging people, this alarm is judgmental by definition. "Lunk" is short for "Lunkhead," which is a derogatory term for someone who is slow-witted or stupid.
Numerous Youtube commenters have pointed out the stupidity and dangerousness of the Lunk Alarm:
~ "Planet Fitness is the only gym that doesn't like you going to the gym."
~ "It’s ironic how Planet Fitness claims to be 'judgement free' but it’s literally the only gym out there with an alarm based on judgement."
~ "The Lunk Alarm is the equivalent of a librarian telling people to shut up through a bullhorn."
~ "Planet Fitness isn't a gym, it's a library with weights."
~ "TheLunk Alarm is specifically made to judge you for making noise and make you feel bad, and to insult you, lunk is short for lunkhead which means slow-witted person, so basically they're calling you slow-witted because you're exercising. what a judgement free zone. Also because we're human the loud noise will startle us if we're not expecting it and someone can get hurt, maybe even sent to the ER."
~ "Planet Fitness is the only gym that doesn't like you going to the gym."
~ "It’s ironic how Planet Fitness claims to be 'judgement free' but it’s literally the only gym out there with an alarm based on judgement."
~ "The Lunk Alarm is the equivalent of a librarian telling people to shut up through a bullhorn."
~ "Planet Fitness isn't a gym, it's a library with weights."
~ "TheLunk Alarm is specifically made to judge you for making noise and make you feel bad, and to insult you, lunk is short for lunkhead which means slow-witted person, so basically they're calling you slow-witted because you're exercising. what a judgement free zone. Also because we're human the loud noise will startle us if we're not expecting it and someone can get hurt, maybe even sent to the ER."
Lunk Alarm by Ubeenbamboozledson June 24, 2022
Call An Ambulance
Call An Ambulance by Ubeenbamboozledson June 22, 2022
Cats vs. Cucumbers
A debunked myth that started spreading in videos where people put cucumbers behind their cat(s) while they're eating, causing them to jump in fear when they turn around and see it.
Cats Vs. Cucumbers is a common and popular way to scare cats, leading people to believe they are scared of cucumbers because they look like snakes. However, as previously stated, this is a myth; and it couldn't be farther from the truth.
The truth is, the reason they freak out is because they don't expect it to be there, because it wasn't there to begin with. You can put ANYTHING behind a cat when they're not paying attention to you, and it will yield the same result.
The truth is, the reason they freak out is because they don't expect it to be there, because it wasn't there to begin with. You can put ANYTHING behind a cat when they're not paying attention to you, and it will yield the same result.
Cats vs. Cucumbers by Ubeenbamboozledson June 20, 2022
Ming Dynasty Pussy
Ming Dynasty Pussy by Ubeenbamboozledson June 20, 2022
Midwest
The only place in America where you are almost 100% guaranteed to get snow in April every year. Sometimes it even snows in June if you're extremely unlucky.
Person from the Midwest: "My father once told me a story of how it snowed on his birthday in North Dakota, thereby ruining all of his and his friends and family's plans."
Person who is not from the Midwest: "What's so surprising about that?"
Midwest: "My dad's birthday is in JUNE."
Not Midwest: *Literally faints*
Person who is not from the Midwest: "What's so surprising about that?"
Midwest: "My dad's birthday is in JUNE."
Not Midwest: *Literally faints*
Midwest by Ubeenbamboozledson June 20, 2022