Tyburn's definitions
A local legend in Southend-on-Sea, Essex. A small seaside town in South Eastern England.
The story of the Ratman has some variants but the core result remains the same.
That under a tunnel, sitting just near the residence of the Mayor, there looms a figure that resembles both a rat and a human being.
It will screech in the middle of the night and attempt to chase out people walking through there at night.
One version of the story tells of a local tramp and headcase. Who lived in the tunnel, being paralysed and unable to leave.
One night a group of drunken teenagers beat him to death and stole what little food and clothes he had. As he was freezing to death he could see rats scuttle forth to consume him. He swore revenge on the town that had abused him, and is now the Ratman of Southend, a vengeful spirit that hates the young and healthy.
The other version claims that the Ratman was the deformed son of an old Mayor of Southend. He was born hideously deformed, with a rodent-like snout, jagged teeth and a rotting stench about him.
The Mayor had the tunnel constructed to hide his secret, as the child was also the result of an adulterous relationship.
The Ratman still lurks there to this day, alone in the dark and waiting for any tasty humans to cross its path.
The story emerged years ago and reappears from time to time, via bizzare signs posted on lamp-posts and telephone poles.
The story of the Ratman has some variants but the core result remains the same.
That under a tunnel, sitting just near the residence of the Mayor, there looms a figure that resembles both a rat and a human being.
It will screech in the middle of the night and attempt to chase out people walking through there at night.
One version of the story tells of a local tramp and headcase. Who lived in the tunnel, being paralysed and unable to leave.
One night a group of drunken teenagers beat him to death and stole what little food and clothes he had. As he was freezing to death he could see rats scuttle forth to consume him. He swore revenge on the town that had abused him, and is now the Ratman of Southend, a vengeful spirit that hates the young and healthy.
The other version claims that the Ratman was the deformed son of an old Mayor of Southend. He was born hideously deformed, with a rodent-like snout, jagged teeth and a rotting stench about him.
The Mayor had the tunnel constructed to hide his secret, as the child was also the result of an adulterous relationship.
The Ratman still lurks there to this day, alone in the dark and waiting for any tasty humans to cross its path.
The story emerged years ago and reappears from time to time, via bizzare signs posted on lamp-posts and telephone poles.
Shaun and Craig ran under the tunnel of the Ratman, to see if he would try and eat them.
The story of the Ratman being the Mayors deformed son, shares some thematic similarities with the mythical tale of the Minotaur.
I have personally heard screeching in that tunnel and momentarily thought it was the Ratman.
The story of the Ratman being the Mayors deformed son, shares some thematic similarities with the mythical tale of the Minotaur.
I have personally heard screeching in that tunnel and momentarily thought it was the Ratman.
by Tyburn February 28, 2010
Get the Ratmanmug. Vlad Tepes, Prince of Wallachia, was a figure in the Medieval era who has become connected with the Dracula legend. Forget bloodsucking, this guy was in to much more hardcore stuff. He impaled friend and foe alike. One he turned back a Turkish army when they saw thousands upon thousands of their comrades dead on wooden stakes. Once, when an envoy refused to take off his turban in his presence Vlad had it nailed to his head.
Of course, this didn't help Vlad when the Reaper came knocking for him. Eventually he was killed, by the Turks or rebellious nobles we cannot be sure. But his head was cut off, preserved in honey to keep it sweet and then stuck on a pole.
Despite his apparently hideous crimes Vlad was a good ruler. He insisted on total loyalty from his people and his ruthlessness aided him in his war against the Turkish invaders. When first ascending to power one of his first moves was to imprison the treacherous boyars who probably killed his father. And rather than heap favours upon old Lords he apparently prefered to knight members of the peasantry.
Although, as we've seen, it wasn't enough to save him.
Of course, this didn't help Vlad when the Reaper came knocking for him. Eventually he was killed, by the Turks or rebellious nobles we cannot be sure. But his head was cut off, preserved in honey to keep it sweet and then stuck on a pole.
Despite his apparently hideous crimes Vlad was a good ruler. He insisted on total loyalty from his people and his ruthlessness aided him in his war against the Turkish invaders. When first ascending to power one of his first moves was to imprison the treacherous boyars who probably killed his father. And rather than heap favours upon old Lords he apparently prefered to knight members of the peasantry.
Although, as we've seen, it wasn't enough to save him.
by Tyburn January 2, 2008
Get the Vlad The Impalermug. The protagonist of Grand Theft Auto IV.
by Tyburn January 2, 2008
Get the Niko Bellicmug. A Scottish rebel immortalised in the film Braveheart. Despite claims that he murdered men, women, children and religious figures there is no doubt that he fought bravely for his cause.
Eventually he was defeated and subjected to the worst form of capital punishment ever devised. Hanging, drawing and quartering. First dragged to the gallows. Then hung. Then cut down. Then gutted. Then beheaded and cut into quarters. However, this punishment did not have the desired effect and Scottish rebellions would continue for many years.
To this day Wallace remains both a national hero and, to some, an excuse for Anglophobia.
Eventually he was defeated and subjected to the worst form of capital punishment ever devised. Hanging, drawing and quartering. First dragged to the gallows. Then hung. Then cut down. Then gutted. Then beheaded and cut into quarters. However, this punishment did not have the desired effect and Scottish rebellions would continue for many years.
To this day Wallace remains both a national hero and, to some, an excuse for Anglophobia.
I hate the English. Look what they did to William Wallace!
The execution of William Wallace intensified the resolve of Scottish rebels.
The execution of William Wallace intensified the resolve of Scottish rebels.
by Tyburn January 2, 2008
Get the william wallacemug. A Brazillian cartoonist and very picky humanitarian. Latuff would have you believe that he cares about all the peoples of all the world. But that's just bullshit to cover up his hypocrisy and racism.
Truth is, if you're white or American the chances are he hates you.
The only people this faggot likes are Palestinian terrorists who want to use bombs and gangsterism to make their pointless lives even more pointless.
Oh, and Latuff The Humanitarian is also bosom-buddies with the Iranian regime, considering he went to one of their charmind Holocaust denial conferences and drew a pretty picture to demonise the Jews - his most favouriteist scapegoat of all time.
And yet he's idolised by the young, neo-Anarchist crowd who can't see what a self-righteous, pathetic, backwards cunt he really is.
Truth is, if you're white or American the chances are he hates you.
The only people this faggot likes are Palestinian terrorists who want to use bombs and gangsterism to make their pointless lives even more pointless.
Oh, and Latuff The Humanitarian is also bosom-buddies with the Iranian regime, considering he went to one of their charmind Holocaust denial conferences and drew a pretty picture to demonise the Jews - his most favouriteist scapegoat of all time.
And yet he's idolised by the young, neo-Anarchist crowd who can't see what a self-righteous, pathetic, backwards cunt he really is.
Carlos Latuff champions democracy in poorer countries but does not want to DISCUSS his militant, offensive views.
Carlos Latuff urges people to feel compassion for Palestinian "freedom fighters" but mocks the deaths of US servicemen.
Carlos Latuff urges people to feel compassion for Palestinian "freedom fighters" but mocks the deaths of US servicemen.
by Tyburn November 8, 2009
Get the Carlos Latuffmug. Emperor of Rome, succeded Tiberius.
When he was little, he was beloved by the Roman army. They nicknamed him "Little Boots" and made him their mascot.
Indeed, it appeared as though Caligula had it all. But Roman politics soon took it all from him.
Tiberius had most of his family killed and took little Caligula to live with him on the Isle of Capri.
It's hard to imagine how the young man felt, having to serve the same man who shattered his life.
But it seems likely that it left him with a lingering hatred of Rome, it's traditions and politicians.
So, when Caligula became Emperor, people initially rejoiced. But he soon ushered in an anarchic reign, designed to ridicule the establishment.
He made the army gather seashells, he threatened to make his horse - Incitatus - a senator, he dressed as Roman Gods.
The Roman elite would only take so much of this mockery. Eventually, they cornered Caligula in a hall way and hacked him to death.
When he was little, he was beloved by the Roman army. They nicknamed him "Little Boots" and made him their mascot.
Indeed, it appeared as though Caligula had it all. But Roman politics soon took it all from him.
Tiberius had most of his family killed and took little Caligula to live with him on the Isle of Capri.
It's hard to imagine how the young man felt, having to serve the same man who shattered his life.
But it seems likely that it left him with a lingering hatred of Rome, it's traditions and politicians.
So, when Caligula became Emperor, people initially rejoiced. But he soon ushered in an anarchic reign, designed to ridicule the establishment.
He made the army gather seashells, he threatened to make his horse - Incitatus - a senator, he dressed as Roman Gods.
The Roman elite would only take so much of this mockery. Eventually, they cornered Caligula in a hall way and hacked him to death.
Caligula is often portrayed as being insane. But it seems more likely that he was merely filled with a loathing of Rome because of his traumatic childhood.
Caligula's attacks on the establishment indicate that he was some form of primoridal anarchist. His actions were calculated, rather than being the random antics of a maniac.
Caligula's attacks on the establishment indicate that he was some form of primoridal anarchist. His actions were calculated, rather than being the random antics of a maniac.
by Tyburn February 28, 2010
Get the Caligulamug. Branch of Christianity. Protestants believe that Jesus is the head of the Church. They reject Papal authority and the percieved excesses of the Catholic church.
Protestants are also remarkably unpopular amongst a great deal of people due to the actions of a small number of them. But in the most part they are simply Christians who wish to worship without a central authority, without a buffer between man and God and without the ritualism of other branches of the faith.
Protestants are also remarkably unpopular amongst a great deal of people due to the actions of a small number of them. But in the most part they are simply Christians who wish to worship without a central authority, without a buffer between man and God and without the ritualism of other branches of the faith.
Jack became a Protestant after attending a Church sermon.
There are tensions in Ireland between Catholic and Protestant groups.
Graham dislikes Protestants because he is an Athesist.
There are tensions in Ireland between Catholic and Protestant groups.
Graham dislikes Protestants because he is an Athesist.
by Tyburn January 2, 2008
Get the protestantmug.