Two Hep Cats's definitions

deranged

What happens to vaqueros who leave the prairie too quickly.

Jorge galloped off the ranch an' got hisself deranged. Boy's brain was plumb pasturized. Too mas loco weed, pendejo.

by Two Hep Cats January 4, 2013

Texbook

Any school textbook that filters reality through a fancifully enthusiastic neo-conservative agenda.

Copping a page from the Iranian Playbook, the Texas Board of Education removed Thomas Jefferson from Texbooks because he believed in the separation of church and state.

by Two Hep Cats March 17, 2010

asstorrhoid

A hemorrhoid the size of a meteor. And twice as hot.

I can't go horseback riding with you tomorrow, dude.

Why not?

Asstorrhoids.

by Two Hep Cats October 30, 2010

Postaholic

An attention-seeker who compulsively, addictively blogs or posts to a social networking site many times a day.

Sarah's a postaholic. Six, seven times a day she pathetically pukes out where she is, what she's eating, what she's watching on TV. Who gives a flying fork?

by Two Hep Cats July 10, 2011

videophart

An unstoppable video that begins on a Web page, no matter what your browser settings for video auto-play are, and can only be stopped manually. The most insidious versions can't be stopped at all.

CNN has started using videopharts. Doesn't matter how you set your browser, they load and begin playing automatically until you manually shut them off.

by Two Hep Cats June 23, 2017

oink

One Income, No Kids

My girlfriend says I'm a pig, but I'm truly an oink.

by Two Hep Cats September 18, 2012

Milch Cow Theory

The theory that the 99% exist only to serve the needs of the wealthiest 1%, as if the majority of people are simply cows to be milked.

The modus operandi of Fox News demonstrates that Rupert Murdoch subscribes to the Milch Cow Theory.

by Two Hep Cats January 7, 2012