videophart

An unstoppable video that begins on a Web page, no matter what your browser settings for video auto-play are, and can only be stopped manually. The most insidious versions can't be stopped at all.
CNN has started using videopharts. Doesn't matter how you set your browser, they load and begin playing automatically until you manually shut them off.
by Two Hep Cats June 23, 2017
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holey relic

An old and worn-out, but cherished, piece of clothing.
Don't you dare throw out my AC/DC t-shirt. It's a holey relic!
by Two Hep Cats September 30, 2012
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asstorrhoid

A hemorrhoid the size of a meteor. And twice as hot.
I can't go horseback riding with you tomorrow, dude.

Why not?

Asstorrhoids.
by Two Hep Cats October 30, 2010
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deranged

What happens to vaqueros who leave the prairie too quickly.
Jorge galloped off the ranch an' got hisself deranged. Boy's brain was plumb pasturized. Too mas loco weed, pendejo.
by Two Hep Cats January 05, 2013
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Postaholic

An attention-seeker who compulsively, addictively blogs or posts to a social networking site many times a day.
Sarah's a postaholic. Six, seven times a day she pathetically pukes out where she is, what she's eating, what she's watching on TV. Who gives a flying fork?
by Two Hep Cats July 10, 2011
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Fido's Law

Dogs expand to fill the sofa available.
Mutt: Dude--I can't sit down. Your sofa's completely covered with dogs.

Jeff: Fido's Law, man.
by Two Hep Cats June 02, 2013
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The world will arrange itself to make you--personally--feel maximally foolish.
Murphy's Law is a subset of the Theory of Maximum Foolishness. ML says "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong." Often, that is true. However, the TOMF says that if something can go RIGHT that would make you look MORE foolish, then that is what will happen.

For example, ML predicts that bread will always fall butter-side down. But, if I TELL YOU it will fall butter-side down, when I go to actually SHOW YOU, the bread will fall butter-side up, making me feel maximally foolish.

The TOMF is true, but neither verifiable nor falsifiable to others because, whatever conditions you establish to test it, only YOU will know if the result made you feel maximally foolish. Of course it will, but only you will know that.
by Two Hep Cats October 17, 2009
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