Definitions by Turkey Trot

Functified

A condition of being dirty, nasty, filthy and unsanitary.

I need to go home to use the restroom, that ladies' room at the Wal-Mart was functified. It should be condemned by the board of health.

Functified by Turkey Trot December 28, 2010

Haji Mart 

A convenience store and/or gas station owned by anyone of Middle Eastern or Indian ethnicity.

I'll be right back, I've got to run down to the Haji Mart and get some chips and soda and fill up the car.

Haji Mart by Turkey Trot December 28, 2010

Shower in a can 

Any spray body deodorant used to cover B.O. like, Axe body spray. Using said product instead of taking a shower.

Hey, guys, you're choking me to death spray that Shower In A Can! Why don't y'all just wash your funky butts?! You're not fooling anybody. You still stink, only now you smell like butt crack and flowers!

Shower in a can by Turkey Trot December 14, 2010

Fugheddaboudit 

Forget about it. It ain't gonna happen. I think not. No way, Jose. The answer is...no. Not likely.

"If he thinks I'm paying this bill when it was his fault the car died, he's got another thing coming. Fugheddaboudit!

Fugheddaboudit by Turkey Trot December 14, 2010

Chinese apple 

A pomegranate. Lovely red leathery-skinned fruit, with little bitty corn-shaped berry type seeds inside. The seeds are the edible part.

Me: "Let's go to the store and get a Chinese apple to eat."

Friend: "Don't you mean a 'pomegranate'?"

Me: "Well, we called them Chinese apples when I was little."

Chinese apple by Turkey Trot November 15, 2010

Italian tool kit 

A set of items which can be used in any fix-it applications. An Italian tool kit consists of a paint scraper, which can be used as an ice scraper, a chisel, a screw driver, a griddle cleaner, a BBQ scraper, a pry bar, a box cutter, a fly swatter. There is also a hammer which can be used like a hammer, but not usually. A hammer is used when a screwdriver is not handy or is too time-consuming. The claw end of the hammer can be used to open bottles. A wire coat hanger: This can be used to stir paint, open a locked car door, replace the car's radio antenna, clean a clogged drain, clean the vent on a clothes dryer. Electrical tape: much more precise than that old Redneck Duct tape, which BTW loses it's sticky. Electrical tape will be around for decades longer than duct tape.

"Yo, Benny! Go in the Italian tool kit and get the paint scraper, I need to open the window; I forgot my keys on the kitchen counter!

Italian tool kit by Turkey Trot November 12, 2010

Schkeevatz 

Dirty person. Seedy. Slutty. Low-class. Trashy. Filthy. Whorish. Skank.

She's a tramp, a schkeevatz; low class.

Schkeevatz by Turkey Trot November 7, 2010