Fuckit List

Opposite of Bucket List, which is the things you want to do before you die, a Fuckit List is a list of things you don't want to do and in fact, would rather die than do. The jobs are usually tedious, boring, redundant and pointless.
Fuckit List:

1. Clean the garage.
2. Clean the gutters.
3. Install new toilet.
4. Strip and wax basement floor.
5. Remove poison ivy from back wall of garage.

6. Scrub garbage can.
Wife: "Honey, did you remember to reseal the driveway?"
Husband, watching ball game on TV: "I'll get to it.."
Friend: "Is that on your 'Honey-Do List'?"
Husband: "No, it's on my Fuckit List...it ain't gettin' done in this lifetime!"
by Turkey Trot July 19, 2011
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Fugheddaboudit

Forget about it. It ain't gonna happen. I think not. No way, Jose. The answer is...no. Not likely.
"If he thinks I'm paying this bill when it was his fault the car died, he's got another thing coming. Fugheddaboudit!
by Turkey Trot December 14, 2010
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Catholic. You go to church on Saturday night, get your church on. Then Sunday start your new week of debauchery and sinful living. Spoof on The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
Michelle to her co-worker: "I'd like to invite you to church this Sunday."

Betty: "Thank You, what church do you go to?"

Michelle: "It's the Church of Latter-Day Saints."

Betty: "Oh, I used to go to the Church of Saturday Saints and Sunday sinners! We had bingo, spaghetti suppers with a beer garden, wine with Communion. You go to church Saturday night, look all churchy, then the next day go back to being you! Come next Saturday, get reset to zero again."

Michelle: "Oh, never mind then..."
by Turkey Trot March 31, 2011
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Chinese apple

A pomegranate. Lovely red leathery-skinned fruit, with little bitty corn-shaped berry type seeds inside. The seeds are the edible part.
Me: "Let's go to the store and get a Chinese apple to eat."

Friend: "Don't you mean a 'pomegranate'?"

Me: "Well, we called them Chinese apples when I was little."
by Turkey Trot November 15, 2010
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Schkeevatz

Dirty person. Seedy. Slutty. Low-class. Trashy. Filthy. Whorish. Skank.
She's a tramp, a schkeevatz; low class.
by Turkey Trot November 07, 2010
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Church Police

People you know from church, but are not really friends with outside of church. They notice you at Wal-Mart on Sunday afternoon after you skipped church that day and approach you to announce that they missed you in church, expecting either a doctor's note or an explanation as to where you were.
Wife: "Shoot! I ran into the Church Police while I was at Wal-Mart."
Husband: "Who was it?"
Wife: "Betty and George."
Husband: "Did they say anything?"
Wife: "Yeah. 'We missed you today at church.'"
Husband: "What'd you say?"
Wife: "One of the kids was sick."
by Turkey Trot March 14, 2011
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Functified

A condition of being dirty, nasty, filthy and unsanitary.
I need to go home to use the restroom, that ladies' room at the Wal-Mart was functified. It should be condemned by the board of health.
by Turkey Trot December 28, 2010
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