Torsiondrummer's definitions

Happitizers

Happy hour Appetizers - these tidbits of unusually expensive appetizers are somewhat affordable when the restaurant of choice offers to literally split the cost in two. By splitting and slashing the cost of the tasty tangible treats, frugal couples usually order three or more Happitizers which easily substitutes for a regular dinner meal shared among chintzy friends or a penny pinching family seeking a budget buzz. Happitizer Budget Bonus Benefit is when accompanying margaritas are only $1.00, and joined together with happitizers, making an already thrifty date with friends seem even more inexpensive and highly desired for repeat echoed dates striving for an encore of entertainment.

Eric running through through high school halls yelling: “when is the next Happitizers happening”?

Shelia: “let’s go tonight ya’ll”

by Torsiondrummer September 30, 2018

Japooner

A Japanese "nooner", or perfect nap taken in perfect time, usually 20 minutes, in almost a perfect setting to make it the whole day, sometimes in a cocoon like setting.

It is well known the Japanese pay $7-$12 dollars for 20 minutes inside a private soundproofed room, or cocoon, and wrap up in a cashmere blanket, breathe the purified air and listen to whale cries. It's meant to prevent Karoshi…death from overwork, but here in America, we'll just have a Starbucks, or slam some espresso to get through an 8 to 12 hour day of work so we don't get fired.

James: "Dude, I can't fall asleep on the job, I'll get fired"

Eric: "Dude, you look whacked, dead on your feet bushed"

James: "Dude, I'm so freakin tired, I think I need a Starbucks, or maybe just a tripple shot or Java Jolt" (4 shots straight up).

Eric: "Dude, just go get a Japooner, you'll feel like a new man......fresh and relaxed"

James: "Dude, your a genius"

by Torsiondrummer October 11, 2009

Post Covid Apocalypse

Everything and everyone has gone to crap, nothing is like it was or will never be like it was. It’s the Covid after effect on short staffed at work, max teleworking, anti-vaxxers, mandated masks for idiots who won’t get the damn vaccine, chuckle-heads on unemployment, TikTok celebrities, depression and anxiety and how you’ve had to adjust work life balance and still make life work. It can make you feel dull and tired, take away your energy, and eat away at your ability to get things done. Forcing extroverts to be introverted and depending on the seriousness of your post-Covid apocalypse, it may last 2 to 3 months, or 2-3 years to even act and feel normal again. But for some people with a severe Post Covid Apocalypse the brain fog-like fatigue and pain can linger forever. A real shit-show that may last even after we’re dead and gone.

Stig: “ everyone’s teleworking, we can’t get anything done, everyone has quit or went somewhere else“

Eric: “ well bro, that’s how it is in this post covid apocalypse“

by Torsiondrummer October 6, 2021

Peniurky

Peniurky. A penis turkey - the phallic shaped turkey is rarest among refrigerators decorated by innocent children who inadvertently design this pecker shaped body covered in feathers around the fall holiday season. Two larger feathers almost cocoon and slightly tear dropped shaped can mistakenly be seen as peniurky balls when the peniurky is flipped upside down. It is rumored this cock-a-doodle-do sounding cockalorum is cocksure confident and certainly cocky.

John: “Hey guys, have you seen this latest peniurky”?

“Oh my god Shelia, that is the biggest peniurky ever! It looks happy, but hungry”!

by Torsiondrummer September 30, 2018

UFO Alarm Clock

This knee charmer is often found in unique individuals with ties to super rich secret submarine service. Although known in military jargon as “foreign objects“, emergency surgery usually unearths armament shrapnel and pieces of snooze buttons from top quality alarm clocks. Still as mysterious as jimmy Hoffa’s disappearance, this enigma of a titillating experience is easily summarized as suspenseful supreme “pop” sensation and not for the feeble mortal, a UFO Alarm Clock is like kryptonite to Superman. If you ever run into someone who has experienced the rare UFO alarm clock, feel free to gift them only the best sour beers for a speedy recovery!

“Hey John, I heard about that UFO Alarm Clock”, you good bro?”

“Yeah man, nothing a good Sour Brew can’t fix”

by Torsiondrummer July 29, 2020

Covid Casserole

A Covid Casserole is the vile and strategically neglected casserole at any potluck. Usually this noteworthy casserole looks worse than it tastes and is a gentle reminder no one is immune from the random processed “family recipe“ concoction of the 1960s market cookbooks. Normal people simply pass over and reject this Pooh-Pooh wrinkle with a synthetic smile. Still, heathens are brave enough and wolfish enough to take a deep breath, brace their stomach for full impact and prepare for a journey back in time! These semifinalist savages who risk scurvy are rest assured the porcelain god will stand tall and flush repulsive excrements as often as necessary to wash away such loathsome excrement.

“Is anyone trying Aunt Edna’s tuna filled jellied bouillon with frankfurter casserole from her secret cookbook”?

Uncle Charlie: “Hell nah! That Covid casserole isn’t fit for hobos”!

by Torsiondrummer December 10, 2023

Quarjap

Approximately quarter japanese, of genetic make up, usually the parent of a married couple is japanese, so thier kids will be one quarter japanese, or quarjap

Lisa: Hey, my dad is Japanese, but my hubby is a mix of whatever, so at least my kids are quarjap!

Cindy:, Oh, well my kids are quarjaps too, because my mom is Japanese!

Eric: Hmmm...

by Torsiondrummer November 11, 2009