The process by which people now use less than 20% of their normal toilet paper when wiping their ass. Toilet paper is worth more than gold (by weight) during this coronavirus COVID-19 pandemic.
"I'm going through serious butt rations right now. I'm now down to two squares per trip, and soon, I'll have to resort to Kleenex. Then napkins. Then paper towel. Then socks. Then sandpaper. Then tree bark. Then my hand. Then my other hand. And then I die."
by ToddUncommon March 22, 2020
The mealy-mouthed, weasel-worded, chickenshit phrasing that brand advertising likes to believe is "reassuring" about massively negative global events, instead of using real words about what may be going on, like "pandemic" and/or "economic crisis" and/or "presidential incompetence".
Singular form: "(this) difficult time"
Singular form: "(this) difficult time"
"In these "uncertain times", disposable toilet seat covers are more critical than ever, like airlines and vacation cruises. Remember, sometimes the only thing between you and a coronavirus droplet might be a Big Johnson Ass Gasket."
by ToddUncommon March 30, 2020
Teacher: "Class, who is the current President of the US?"
Dustin: "Donald Trump?"
Teacher: "Close. Anyone else?"
Bianca: "Some bagel-faced dipshit?"
Teacher: "Correct!"
Dustin: "Donald Trump?"
Teacher: "Close. Anyone else?"
Bianca: "Some bagel-faced dipshit?"
Teacher: "Correct!"
by ToddUncommon March 20, 2020
Applied to soccer, it occurs when one or more players of the same team is playing unintelligently or inattentively, such as dribbling aimlessly in their backfield, as young children may idly play with their own or each other's genitals, regardless of gender.
It also can be applied in general to any activity where at least one person is blissfully but dangerously not paying attention to something critical.
It also can be applied in general to any activity where at least one person is blissfully but dangerously not paying attention to something critical.
Soccer: You two, stop playing touch pee-pee and move the ball up the field!
Life: Hey, you! Quit playing touch pee-pee and help me lift this into the truck!
Life: Hey, you! Quit playing touch pee-pee and help me lift this into the truck!
by ToddUncommon June 26, 2010
COVID Barbie is the perfectly correct nickname for president Donald Trump's last and worst Press Secretary, Kayleighahghuh McEnany. Which is saying something, given that he started his administration with a combative midget, then used a profane lunatic for two weeks, and then settled on a quasi-female trans-Sloth from The Goonies for a spell. A wholly unqualified simpleton bimbo, she represents the perfect blend of blonde lies and cheap makeup that has earned the reputation of a plastic, mildly evil doll.
See also: COVID Karen, Wicket Witch
See also: COVID Karen, Wicket Witch
TV watcher: "Hey, did you see that Kayleigh McEnany said that she wouldn't lie, but has done it constantly since then?"
Bored person trying to not die of COVID: "Yeah. I just wish that COVID Barbie would fall into a fire and melt already."
Bored person trying to not die of COVID: "Yeah. I just wish that COVID Barbie would fall into a fire and melt already."
by ToddUncommon November 18, 2020
An apocalyptic, end-of-the-world death cult, Branch Covidians believe in the supremacy of "His Holiness the Douche Nozzle" Donald Trump, refuse to wear masks in the middle of a plague, threaten and commit violence against anyone protecting themselves against the corona virus, and basically won't stop until they burn their own house down with them inside. The name is borrowed from prior wackos during a community campfire in Waco, Texas in 1993.
Shopper #1: Who are those people walking through a Wal-Mart with a camcorder yelling to take off our masks?
Shopper #2: Don't worry about them. They're a bunch of Branch Covidians; mostly children and incels.
Shopper #2: Don't worry about them. They're a bunch of Branch Covidians; mostly children and incels.
by ToddUncommon October 06, 2020
A time of morning (or night), usually between 3AM - 6AM in the local time zone that requires a person to interrupt normal sleep or waking patterns for often dubious reasons. Often used in reference to extremely early arrivals to airports, or to join business teleconference sessions with participants in multiple time zones. Also see stupid o'clock.
"I don't look so good because I had to be at work at silly o'clock this morning to join a videocon with our development office in Greece."
by ToddUncommon September 12, 2008