ToddUncommon's definitions

Boomer Flu

The fully contracted flu illness brought on by exposure to coronavirus COVID-19. Since the most vulnerable people to the virus are the old, fat, and unwell, that puts Baby Boomers squarely in the cross-hairs of the pandemic. The disease is lethal to about 2% of all victims, but is lethal to at least 5% of any loser born before 1960, and higher if you have heart disease, high blood pressure, diabeetus, asthma, gout, goiters, conservative politics, or general stupidity. See also: Trump Flu

"I think nana may have come down with the Boomer Flu!"
"Why?"
"She's super sick, and she just got back from her Asian cruise and brought back all this dirty paper money!"

by ToddUncommon March 9, 2020

Sniper's Delight

Someone with a huge forehead - therefore making them a perfect target for a sniper.

See also: sniper's dream

"Nice shot, Max. That was over 3,000 meters!"
"Thank's bud. No big deal. It was easy, that target's huge melon was a real sniper's delight."

by ToddUncommon March 15, 2020

Bagel-faced Dipshit

The 45th President of the United States of America.

Teacher: "Class, who is the current President of the US?"
Dustin: "Donald Trump?"
Teacher: "Close. Anyone else?"
Bianca: "Some bagel-faced dipshit?"
Teacher: "Correct!"

by ToddUncommon March 20, 2020

Butt Rations

The process by which people now use less than 20% of their normal toilet paper when wiping their ass. Toilet paper is worth more than gold (by weight) during this coronavirus COVID-19 pandemic.

"I'm going through serious butt rations right now. I'm now down to two squares per trip, and soon, I'll have to resort to Kleenex. Then napkins. Then paper towel. Then socks. Then sandpaper. Then tree bark. Then my hand. Then my other hand. And then I die."

by ToddUncommon March 21, 2020

COVID Babies

Sick children, between the ages of 5 and 15, who are home due to school closures, playing online video games (like Fortnite) and audibly coughing, sniffling, and sneezing. See also #sweaty fever child

tiny voice "Ashhpplzz! *snif* Anybody got a mic? Helloo? *koff* *koff* Anyone got a mic? Nobody? *snif*"
older voice "Aww, another one of these COVID babies. I knew you were a sweat."

by ToddUncommon March 24, 2020

Branch Covidians

An apocalyptic, end-of-the-world death cult, Branch Covidians believe in the supremacy of "His Holiness the Douche Nozzle" Donald Trump, refuse to wear masks in the middle of a plague, threaten and commit violence against anyone protecting themselves against the corona virus, and basically won't stop until they burn their own house down with them inside. The name is borrowed from prior wackos during a community campfire in Waco, Texas in 1993.

Shopper #1: Who are those people walking through a Wal-Mart with a camcorder yelling to take off our masks?

Shopper #2: Don't worry about them. They're a bunch of Branch Covidians; mostly children and incels.

by ToddUncommon October 6, 2020

burtation

A heightened state of anticipation (characterized as 'heavy'), especially before an awards presentation.

Coined by CBS LA Reporter Serene Branson, prior to The Grammys, on 13 Feb, 2010.

Well, a very, very heavay, uh heavy duweh...uh burtation tonight. We had a very darriss, darrision...but let's go ahead, terris taison dos cablit the had lapet.

by ToddUncommon March 2, 2011