38 definitions by TheBigCanucklehead

up shit creek without a paddle

When one is caught in a precarious situation where the likelihood of it ending in something positive is virtually non-existent.

I can't believe I hit that car with my Mom's new car. I have been driving around aimlessly for the past 2 hours because as soon as she sees this dent, I'm up shit creek without a paddle.

wrong situation

by TheBigCanucklehead March 15, 2015

It's not what you've got, it's how you use it.

One of the go to phrases that women and gay men tell men of smaller to average penis endowment. This is to ensure that he does not feel insecure, especially before, during and after sex.

The second biggest fable next to Santa Claus.

The one guy that I have been wanting sex with...the stars finally aligned and we were able to be alone and let nature take its course last night. Well I should know that somethings are too good to be true. The whole experience turned out to be a it's not what you've got, it's how you use it. Why is it everytime I tell a guy that I feel like I just told my daughter that there is no Santa..

fable white lie

by TheBigCanucklehead March 20, 2015

can't rape the willing

A phrase describing someone who is/was agreeable to sexual activities or other naughty behaviour.

Bill: Hey Tom. I heard you convinced Rebecca to try a menage a trois?
Tom: Yeah, can't rape the willing...she already has a GUY picked out for us.
Bill: Oh.....
Tom: Yeah...this should be interesting...my threesome fantasties have always been with two women and she just threw a wrench into that one now didnt she. I guess that will have to be for the next time.

agreeable ally

by TheBigCanucklehead March 21, 2015

like white on rice

A statement that is given when something is as plain as day, no one can argue about differences.

Stranger 1: Don't you notice every time you light up a cigarette the bus comes?
Stranger 2: Like white on rice!

exact plain

by TheBigCanucklehead March 21, 2015

strap-on

A sex toy that resembles a belt with an erect dildo (cock) on it. This is a must for lesbian and adventurous heterosexual couples. One partner puts on the strap on and acts like the man and proceeds to have vaginal intercourse (lesbian) and the woman becomes the insertive partner in anal intercourse with her boyfriend.

I love the way Kyle and I are so sexually adventurous. Last night I brought home a strap-on and made him my bitch for the night. I hope he doesn't go bi or gay on me because he enjoyed that just a little too much I think. But then again, bisexuality may be next on our bucket list.

dildo sex toy

by TheBigCanucklehead March 22, 2015

If you are gonna stir the pot of shit be prepared to lick the spoon.

A statement-warning given to someone that what they are about to do may backfire and they may end up regretting it. Another spin on "if you can't do the time, don't do the crime.".

Why did you tell Jennifer you saw me downtown last night? If you are gonna stir the pot of shit be prepared to lick the spoon. After all, your closet isn't so tidy.

warning heed

by TheBigCanucklehead March 16, 2015

cock-blocked

Could have one of two meanings:

1. A verb that denotes a female or gay male that flirts all night and at the end of the evening doesn't go the distance.

2. Also means that just as you were going to make a move on the object of your desires, another person beats you to the punch.

In either case the person thought they had a sure thing.

Man oh man I can kick myself . I'm so freakin' horny that I've had to masturbate twice already and I still have the worse case of morningwood since getting cock-blocked by this real hot chick at the bar last night..

{teased noncomittal

by TheBigCanucklehead March 14, 2015