Toys to not get your 5 year old in your shitty apartment complex

1. Train whistle
2. Drum set
3. Any toy that runs on batteries
4. Any toy that has a speaker

5. Things that make a noise any time it is moved
6. meth
7. Voice activated toys
8. Things that can be slammed closed
9. Things that provide the child with glucose
10. An electric guitar
11. Stuff that is made to scare them and make them yell
12. dildos
13. Stuff that can hardly touch them that they will claim hurts
14. Soldering iron
15. Sugar
16. Sucrose
17. Glucose
18. Rat poison
19. Basketball

20. Items 1-19

“Do you know stuff my son would like?”
No, but I can tell you all sorts of Toys to not get your 5 year old in your shitty apartment complex

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 November 04, 2022

The 666 Rule

The main thing women look for in a man. They will often deny this triad as it makes them look bad, though in reality, it’s the main premise they seek. You can have a guy who is a 1/10, but the triad will make them look like a 10.

Also known as the Three 6s to make them sound less satanic. The 666 triad is displayed by:
- 6 feet tall
- a 6 figure salary and
- 6 pack abs.

He’s ugly af but he meets the 666 rule so I’d rank him an automatic right swipe 10/10. Can’t wait to match and not work for the rest of my life.

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 August 26, 2022

Thoughts and prayers

Common social media reply to posts about dead people when there is, in fact, no thoughts and no prayers. And if there is, they last about 2 seconds.

*comments “Thoughts and Prayers”*
*immediately goes back to watching porn*

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 February 06, 2023

Today years old

A phrase grown adults who haven’t lost their virginity yet and still live in their parent’s basement say when they heard something on the internet that usually isn’t true.

I was today years old when I learned that guitar strings are actually made for cutting cheese cubes.

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 February 06, 2023

Today years old

A thing millennials say to intentionally sound like they have damage in their Broca’s area

I was today years old when I learned this *left side of their face starts drooping*

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 21, 2023

R

A letter that people from Britain think is pronounced “uhh”

“Yes we Uhh here”
You mean we are here

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 27, 2023

Super Ultra Golden Nut Bustin Mega Ultra Gawk Gawk Gawk 5000XL+

The type of blowjob that diagnoses you with Post Nut Propofol/Post Nut Paralysis for 10 or more minutes. Typically completed with an empty urethra as she completes it by using your dick like a straw. You will probably need to put your penis in a wheelchair afterwards, if and when you can move again. Contraceptives probably won’t be needed for the next 6 months as your sperm count will drop to -5,000. That’s right. Negative. Your nuts will owe themselves 5,000 new sperm cells.

How was it with the wife last night?
“Broooo I swear to fuck she gave me a full on Super Ultra Golden Nut Bustin Mega Ultra Gawk Gawk Gawk 5000XL+“
Daammmmn how are you able to walk right now???

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 19, 2021