The Intimidating British Guy's definitions

Christmas

The season when you're forced to be happy. If your not, a fat communist comes and beats you up. He enslaves little people who make stuff and fuel consumerism. The fat man in red breaks into your house and delivers gifts which your parents pay for. None of the gifts are free and the 'santa' man is secretly a trillionaire who sells people stuff. Santa is communist but he has his factory in china where he makes the cheap plastic toys.

Society: Santa Claus is coming to town
Me: Christmas already!? It's the jolly fat man! Run for your lives!

by The Intimidating British Guy August 12, 2021

hell

1: the place you can go if you want to visit Hitler, Stalin, or Trump.
2: the holiday resort for Trump supporters.
3: the place you can go if you are not atheist (because it doesn't exist, not because God likes atheists. (not that God exists.)
4: Earth.

Satan: do you support trump?
Trump supporter: yes
Satan: hell's right this way
Trump supporter: what do you mean?
Satan: you're going to hell
Trump supporter: Finally! What took you so long!

by The Intimidating British Guy July 22, 2021

Tik Tok

If youtube was murdered in a dark alley and came back as a zombie, that is tik tok

tik tok: *exists*
youtube: AM I A JOKE TO YOU!

by The Intimidating British Guy July 17, 2021

Y'all

contraction of you all. The only thing my social studies teacher ever says.

My social studies teacher: y'all y'all yyyyyyy'all y-y-y-y-y'all
Me being the British guy: what the fuck are you talking about!

by The Intimidating British Guy June 6, 2021

Americans

Brits who went to America killed the natives and were too stingy to pay the small tea tax. They went mad because of the tea deprivation and decided they wanted independence! They swore never ever to drink tea ever again.

Me: Do you at least have a kettle!
Americans: *sweating*

by The Intimidating British Guy May 20, 2021

The Happy Birthday Song

The only song that has been sung FAR too many times!

Me: *ages*
Everyone who likes the happy birthday song: Happy birthday to y...
Me: Just give me cake god damn it!

by The Intimidating British Guy May 20, 2021

Slow Clap

what the villain does whenever the hero does anything. Clap clap clap followed by well well well followed by dun dun dun.

Hero: *foils villain's evil plan*
Villain: *slow claps* Well Well Well *unveils secret weapon*
God: dun dun DUN!!! plot twist!!!

by The Intimidating British Guy May 20, 2021