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Telephony's definitions

hampster

How a pathetic cringing little milksop would spell the word hamster.
{Betty}: Hey Chris, did you cat eat another hampster?
{Chris}: You stupid cunt!!! It's H-A-M-S-T-E-R!!! No fucking "P"!!!
by Telephony January 15, 2021
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ṕ€n¡s

A way to type the word, "penis" that bypasses the onboard censors in many online BBS programs and forums (or, "fora" if you want to be an anal-retentive dick about it).
Some forums block posts that contain the word penis, so use ṕ€n¡s instead.
Ebay also blocks feedback containing the word penis, even if it is split into a very legitimate phrase.

On Ebay's feedback...
{Blocked}: The pen is very nice, thank you!
{Not blocked}: The ṕ€n ¡s very nice, thank you!
by Telephony January 16, 2021
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douchebucket

A douchebucket is some asshaberdasher who far exceeds the douchebaggery of a common, garden-variety douchebag.
{Seen in the description of a drone video on YouTube}:

While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your åšs#Ø£€ to your ṕ€nµs ♪
♪ Some douchebucket piddled in a shoe!!! ♪
{~1.5 second pause}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪
by Telephony January 16, 2021
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doucheknocker

A female version of a fartknocker or a buttknocker.
While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your åšs#Ø£€ to your ṕ€nµs ♪
♪ Some doucheknocker neutralised a hat!!! ♪
{~850ms silence}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪
by Telephony January 23, 2021
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douchepail

A douchepail is some complete and total asshaberdasher who exhibits more douchebaggery than a douchebag, but less than a douchebucket.
The logic here is that a pail is generally smaller than a bucket.
Linda is such a fucking douchepail for stuffing up all of the shitbowls in Dorm C with Scottowels!
by Telephony February 23, 2021
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Yo! Whassup homes?

A greeting that a person (usually but not always a black man) might say to a good friend of his when they approach one another.
{Edward}: Craig! Yo! Whassup homes?
{Craig} Hey there Edward! Just on my way to work. Wanna go grab a quick 40?
by Telephony March 31, 2021
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NSFH

Not Safe For Homosexicles -- a phrase, image, video, or song that has the potential to offend faggots.
{Seen in the description of a YouTube video of a drone flight}:

I also added NSFH (Not Safe For Homosexicles) because one of the songs does have the potential to be mildly offensive to some members of the LGBTQ+ community.
by Telephony June 8, 2021
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