Telephony's definitions

the grinder

What some people call using the shower; usually a quick one.

{Ella}: Cummon honey, it's almost time to go to work.
{Norm}: Just a few minutes Ella, I need to go through the grinder first.

by Telephony October 13, 2014

let's blaze!

It's not what you might think: on the telly program, "Blaze and the Monster Machines" when Blaze (a talking monster truck) says, "Let's blaze", it "grows" these blue-glowing tailpipes and kicks ass. However, when somebody says, "let's blaze!" in the real world, they'll whip out a big-ass bong or a big fat bowl and spark it up.

Hey Debbie! Come over here; let's blaze!

by Telephony February 4, 2019

horn

What some people call a can of beer

{Gordie}: Hey Craig, want a horn?
{Craig}: Sure!
{Gordie}: Grab us a coupla horns out of the fridge; dad doesn't need to know.

by Telephony May 31, 2018

douchepail

A douchepail is some complete and total asshaberdasher who exhibits more douchebaggery than a douchebag, but less than a douchebucket.
The logic here is that a pail is generally smaller than a bucket.

Linda is such a fucking douchepail for stuffing up all of the shitbowls in Dorm C with Scottowels!

by Telephony February 23, 2021

coler

{pron., "\KOH'ler\"): How some people pronounce the word, "cola" -- much how Mr. Krabs on the telly program, "SpongeBob SquarePants" pronounces the word formula as formuler.

{Brad}: Hey Sara, can you please go down to the corner store and get me a two litre bottle of Sam's cherry coler?
{Sara}: Brad, for the thousandth time, it's COLA for Christ sakes!!!

by Telephony February 23, 2022

flying penis

What some people call a Boeing CH-47 Chinook helicopter (the kind with no tailboom and two sets of main rotor blades located on the upper side of the fuselage both fore & aft; sometimes called a tandem helicopter) because it looks like a big ding-a-ling flying through the sky.

Hey Dennis, check out the flying penis near those buildings over there!!!

by Telephony September 28, 2013

I Need to Hit the Head

A fake, phoney-bologna totally fictional jingle one might sing when they have to use the toilet or urinal.

{Sung to the tune of the nursery rhyme, "The Farmer in the Dell"}:

♫ I need to hit the head, ♫

♫ I need to hit the head, ♫
♫ Don't piss in the stereo ♫
♫ I need to hit the head! ♫

by Telephony April 6, 2017