Telephony's definitions

Sonic Z

The opposite of Sonic X -- that is, Sonic the Hedgehog that moves extremely slowly.

{The Sonic X theme song but with torpedoed lyrics}

♪ Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop ♪
♪ Gotta stop slow, gotta stop slow, ♪
♪ Gotta stop slower, slower, slower, slower, slower ♪
♪ Movin' at speed of dark (make tracks) ♪
♪ Slowest hedgehog it barks ♪
♪ Got ourselves a situation, stuck in a new location, ♪
♪ Without any explanation, no double relaxation! ♪
♪ Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't think, don't stink, ♪
♪ Just stop, stop, stop, stop, s-s-s-s-stop, stop! ♪
♪ Gotta avoid the ♪
♪ Bam Slam Gadget! ♪
♪ Sonic, he's not the hero! ♪
♪ Sonic, he's number zero! ♪
♪ Sonic, he's coming whee!, ♪
♪ So watch out... For Sonic Z! ♪
♪ Gotta stop slow (Sonic!), gotta stop slow (Sonic!), ♪
♪ Gotta stop slower, slower, slower, slower, slower! ♪
♪ Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! ♪
♪ So... (Sonic) nic... (Sonic) Z, ♪
♪ Gotta stop slow! ♪
♪ Gotta stop slow! ♪
♪ Gotta stop slower, slower, slower, slower, ♪
♪ Sonic Z! ♪ :-)

by Telephony July 8, 2019

hamster mouth

What presidential-elect Donald Trump had when he was campaigning.

If you looked at his cocksucker when he was talking, his lips would very frequently become pursed and it looked as though he were a hamster -- or even a fish at times.

Hey Carolyn!ain,trail
Trump is having this TV debate with Hillary -- you've just got to see his hamster mouth, hahaha!!!

by Telephony January 15, 2017

prison comby

A combination toliet / lavatory (sink) found in prison cells.
Often called a, "suicide-resistant prison comby" or, "ligature-resistant prison comby" because the toliet portion has no seat and only a small amount of water is present in the bottom of the bowl after flushing it -- this helps to prevent inmates from attempting to drown themselves or getting their heads between the seat & bowl.

Sometimes they are simply called an aluminum thunderflush because they flush quickly and loudly.

{Inmate}: Guard, my prison comby has no hot water and doesn't flush.

by Telephony July 21, 2014

tampon destructor

Slang term for the vagina -- especially when the woman is on her menstrual cycle (e.g., she's on the rag).

Hey Jane, did you know that Lisa over there is a true tampon destructor? She's killing five or six of those poor defenseless helpless things a day right now!

by Telephony November 7, 2014

synthetic car horns

The sound of automobile horns created entirely by hardware or software synthesis.
No real car horns are harmed when synthetic car horns are used.

Most frequently found in synthesizer music and computer demo zax.

The demo program for the Apple Mac titled, "Chevrolet" by the computer demo group Nooon has synthetic car horns in it. Howl kewl!!!

by Telephony April 4, 2015

marinal

In most instances, a marinal is just a motorised marinator.
But at the Kentucky Fried Chicken at Kenmore WA. USA in 1987, the marinator was called the marinal cos some total true-blue asshaberdasher kept using it as a urinal. As a fucking URINAL for Christ sakes!!!

{Craig}: Todd, it's your turn to douche out the marinal tonight.
{Todd}: Fuck you and the horse that rode you in!!!
{Craig}: The hell with it. I'm gonna knark on you for turning the marinator into the marinal!

by Telephony August 18, 2018

penile colony

A place where straight male prisoners who have committed particularly heinous crimes are sent -- typical penile colonies are on distant islands and are primarily inhabited by F47707s who have also committed particularly heinous crimes.

The straight male prisoner of such a colony is subsequently subjected to repeated unwelcome cornholing by the gay inmates.

Hey, didjya hear that Bernie in New Seattle hosed down all of those schoolchildren and got sentenced to life in a penile colony?

by Telephony June 29, 2013