Telephony's definitions

douche wagon

Very similar to a butt wagon, though a bit more oriented toward people who deserve a heavier term than butt wagon. A douche wagon can also safely be called a buttsnoipe, an asshaberdasher, a bunghole, etc.

{Seen on a drone flight video posted on YouTube:

While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your bµñg#Ø£€ to your ṕ€n¡s ♪
♪ Some douche wagon neutralised my socks!!! ♪
{~850ms delay}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪

by Telephony January 8, 2021

drone

A UAV (Unmanned Aerial Vehicle); usually with four counterrotating props and frequently sporting a camera for taking aerial photographs and shooting aerial video.

A quadcopter that you can purchase in a store or online is often frequently referred to as a drone even if it requires constant manipulation by a ground-based pilot; a true drone can be completely autonomous and require no intervention by the pilot.

I flew my drone under the Juneau-Douglas bridge but it lost signal and went blub blub blub all the way to the bottom of Gastineau Channel with all of the bowling balls that were lobbed over the side of that bridge in the 1950s and 1960s.

by Telephony January 9, 2021

vaccum

A surprisingly common misspelling of the word, "vacuum".

{Seen in the description of a drone video on YouTube}:

While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your åš#Ø£€ to your ṕ€n¡s ♪
♪ Some true douchenoozle vaccumed up light bulbs!!! ♪
{~850ms delay}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪

by Telephony January 10, 2021

hampster

How a pathetic cringing little milksop would spell the word hamster.

{Betty}: Hey Chris, did you cat eat another hampster?
{Chris}: You stupid cunt!!! It's H-A-M-S-T-E-R!!! No fucking "P"!!!

by Telephony January 15, 2021

ṕ€n¡s

A way to type the word, "penis" that bypasses the onboard censors in many online BBS programs and forums (or, "fora" if you want to be an anal-retentive dick about it).

Some forums block posts that contain the word penis, so use ṕ€n¡s instead.
Ebay also blocks feedback containing the word penis, even if it is split into a very legitimate phrase.

On Ebay's feedback...
{Blocked}: The pen is very nice, thank you!
{Not blocked}: The ṕ€n ¡s very nice, thank you!

by Telephony January 16, 2021

douchebucket

A douchebucket is some asshaberdasher who far exceeds the douchebaggery of a common, garden-variety douchebag.

{Seen in the description of a drone video on YouTube}:

While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your åšs#Ø£€ to your ṕ€nµs ♪
♪ Some douchebucket piddled in a shoe!!! ♪
{~1.5 second pause}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪

by Telephony January 16, 2021

doucheknocker

A female version of a fartknocker or a buttknocker.

While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your åšs#Ø£€ to your ṕ€nµs ♪
♪ Some doucheknocker neutralised a hat!!! ♪
{~850ms silence}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪

by Telephony January 23, 2021