cigarette destructor

Somebody who is a true-blue total cigarette fiend -- that is, somebody who smokes way, way, WAY too many of these things.

"Destructor" because the act of lighting & smoking a cig quite literally destroys it.

Josh is a total cigarette destructor; he can destroy as many as eighty five of the little fuckers in a single day!

by Telephony February 21, 2013

On the Rag Again

A phoney-bologna fake made up song, sung to the Willy Nelson song, "On the Road Again".

♪On the rag again!♪
♪I just can't wait to go on the rag again!!♪

♪The life I love is making music with my (menstrual) pads♪
♪And I can't wait to go on the rag again!!!♪

♪On the rag again,♪
♪See those bloody tampons swirling down the toliet!♪

♪She's a fucked-up friend♪
♪Keeps insisting that those panty liners keep coming...keep coming!♪

♪On the rag again,♪
♪I just can't wait to go on the rag again,♪
♪The life I love is making music with the head,♪
♪And I can't wait to go on the rag again!!!♪

by Telephony March 13, 2016

jackasshammer

A jackhammer that's been fired up nearby so early that it rousts you out of bed.

Those construction workers started using a gosh-darn-diddly-arn jackasshammer next door that got my ass out of bed at 6:30 this morning -- and it's a Saturday for Christ sakes!!!

by Telephony March 12, 2012

baby shit brown

Means the same as the phrase baby poop brown.
Some cars & trucks have this hideous brown paint job which has the color of baby shit; hence the phrase, "baby shit brown". This paint job is so old that it is often somewhat faded and has a matte finish (vs. a glossy finish as is usual for automotive paint jobs).

A 1970 Ford Maverick that I had in 1986 sported this type of paint -- faded, matte finish, and colored baby shit brown.

{From a website that has these phoney bologna fake "battles" between TV commercial mascots}:

Parked on the street are a 1986 Honda Accord sporting a dull baby shit brown paint finish (the doors are locked but the keys are still in the ignition) and (again with the keys already in the ignition) a 2014 Kia Soul with a custom lime green paint job.

by Telephony October 26, 2013

I've Been Sitting on the Shitbowl

A phoney-bologna fake made-up song, sung to the tune of, "I've Been Working on the Railroad".

♫ I've been sitting on the shitbowl ♫
♫ All the live long day ♫
♫ I've been sitting on the shitbowl ♫
♫ Just to waste my time away ♫
♫ Don't you hear the pisser flushing ♫
♫ Sleep in so late in the morn ♫
♫ Can't you hear the restroom attendant yelling ♫
♫ Quick, get an air horn! ♫

by Telephony July 16, 2015

Worker's Constipation

What the term, "Worker's Compensation" is to Butt-Head on the Beavis and Butt-Head episode, "Work is Death".

{Burger World Manager}: Be careful in the kitchen, Burger world can not afford to pay out any more Worker's Compensation.

Butthead: Uhhh, Worker's Constipation?

Beavis: Yeah, yeah, I get that all the time at work when I can't take a poop.

by Telephony July 20, 2020

I've Been Sittin on the Toilet

A phoney-bologna fake made-up song, sung to the tune of, "I've Been Working on the Railroad".

♫ I've been sittin on the toilet ♫

♫ All the live-long day ♫

♫ I've been sittin on the toilet ♫

♫ Just to piss my life away ♫

♫ Don't you hear the whizzer flushing ♫

♫ Sleep in so late in the day ♫

♫ Can't you hear your neighbour yelling ♫

♫ Quick, get the poo-poo spray! ♫

by Telephony July 30, 2016