Telephony's definitions

PIDDLE OPPOSITE OF "ON", PIDDLE WINGLESS HYMENOPTERA

A nicer way of saying the phrase, "PISS OFF, PISS ANT"; basically telling somebody to go fuck themselves.
Piddle is another word for piss, and wingless hymenoptera is another way to say ant -- in particular, a female ant because males of many species do indeed have wings.

Works better when written or typed rather than when spoken.

The all-caps presentation is intentional; you want the recipient to think that you're shouting.

{Excerpt from an SMS message}

David}: Craig, can you clean out the plastic cat toliet while I'm gone?
{Craig}: PIDDLE OPPOSITE OF "ON", PIDDLE WINGLESS HYMENOPTERA!!! :-/

by Telephony April 6, 2019

Hose down

To shoot somebody with a gun; shooting in such a manner that the target is either dead as a doorknob or unable to walk away.

Did you hear that Bernie in Seattle got hosed down last week?

I so want to hose down that dumb stupid enemabag, but I don't want to go to jail.

by Telephony September 14, 2010

drivenf

How John Bush (at the time the singer for Anthrax pronounced the word, "driven" in the song, "Packaged Rebellion".
He also pronounced the word, "influence" as, "influencef".

♪ I don't want to how you're so drivenf ♪
♪ I don't want to know your influencef ♪
♪ I don't need to prove myself ♪
♪ I just need to be myself ♪
♪ It doesn't show how I'm trying to be ♪
♪ It just shows who I am ♪

by Telephony March 25, 2017

corporate douche

The president of a company who has lousy, bottom-of-the-barrel customer service and even shittier TV commercials is known as a corporate douche.
The corporate version of an asshaberdasher.

The head of Wall*Mart is such a huge corporate douche for having commercials made using that swollen and distended urine-yellow smiley dressed up in a Zorro costume floating around, breaking shit, and hacking at store price flares with this big-ass knife!

by Telephony August 12, 2016

doucheketeers

Douchebags. Plain and simple.

Our town/county has miles and miles and miles of bike trails yet some of these risk taking doucheketeers INSIST on riding in the streets. During rush hour. On some pretty windy roads. AND sometimes ride 2 or 3 even 4 abreast across the road.

by Telephony June 10, 2013

windometer

Plain and simple: an anemometer.
An anemometer is an instrument used for measuring wind speed.

Winds were clocked with my stupid sodding "rotten cat pee yellow" portable digital "windometer" (as JD from JD Quad in the UK calls them even though those things are actually called, "anemometers") ;-) as being variable to 3.60mph (4.36kph) at the surface.

by Telephony May 25, 2019

woodpeckerhead

A woodpecker (sp. Picidae) that, from some angles, its head looks like a pecker (dick, cock, willie, johnson, penus, penis, etc. is known as a woodpeckerhead.

Look at the head of that woodpecker over there! It's a woodpeckerhead!!!

by Telephony April 6, 2015