TacomaBeags's definitions

One Knight's Stand

(n) An act of oral sex preformed on a standing male who then wipes his penis dry on the unsuspecting orator's shoulders, from left to right.

Wow bro, look at Liz. She has some great shoulders.

Yah man, it's from all those "One Knight's Stand" 's I give her-- I hear it's good for the skin.

by TacomaBeags July 1, 2011

Squiss

n. (skwi’ss) A small amount of urine remaining in the urethra after a good piss which if not fully squeezed out, may dribble into one’s underpants. This is also known as leopard spotting.

The unit of measurement for squiss is variable and should be calculated using a sliding scale of the sum of 1mL for every inch of girth plus 1mL for every inch of length, or x = 1mL(g) + 1mL(l). Exceed these parameters and squiss ceases to be squiss and you’ve actually just pissed yourself.

Brian: Dude, why you walking so funny?
Spencer: I got squiss running down my leg.
Joe: For you that must be like what, 3 quarts?
Spencer: Damn right.

by TacomaBeags October 17, 2017

Ambi-dick-trous

1. The ability to masturbate with either the left or right hand with equal and identical efficiency.

2. The ability to preform hand jobs with either the left or right hand with equal and identical efficiency.

1. Hey Jack, what's with the hairy palms on BOTH hands, man?

Oh that, yah I'm ambi-dick-trous.

2. Damn man, look at Jack tear it up in that circle jerk. He must be ambi-dick-trous.

by TacomaBeags April 13, 2011

Pluck a' Nut

(n) To reduce or minimize testosterone-driven stress, tension, or frustration—sexual or otherwise—through any means necessary, including but not limited to masturbation, anal penetration with inanimate objects, or extended sessions of Call of Duty play.

Pluck a' Nut

Boyle: SHOOG! Hurry the fuck up, we’re running late!

Kat: HEY, you need to fucking cool it—go Pluck a’ Nut why don’t you.

Boyle: *sigh* Okay—have you seen my lotion? I think we’re out of zucchini.

by TacomaBeags June 6, 2011

Dangling Farticiple

The abrupt and awkward pause in conversation when one person realizes the other has silently farted.

So Stephen, as you know corporate has asked that we begin using cover sheets on our fax reports…so, uh…um….cover sheets on theeee uhhhhh….hmmmm...

Dude, did you fart?

Dammit....dangling farticiple.

by TacomaBeags May 4, 2011

Siamese Tree Frog

When excessive heat, humidity and sweating cause both sides of the testicles to spread and stick to both legs . This is much like a standard Tree Frog in which the testicles stick to one leg or the other. However, a Siamese Tree Frog distinguishes itself by sticking to both legs simultaneously. This typically occurs - but is not limited to - seated or prone positions. See also Tree Frog.

Brian: Damn son, it's hotter than Hades out here.
Joe: I know man, I'm Siamese Tree Froggin' like sonuvabitch.

by TacomaBeags October 2, 2017

Piss Window

The ability to poop in the amount of time it would normally take you to piss, so as not to alert guests or hosts as to what you’re truly doing. Making the Piss Window is most critical when dining out with friends, entertaining guests in your home, or visiting the home of another. Failure to make the Piss Window will usually result in bouts of awkwardness as you exit the bathroom, because everyone will know….you just took a shit.

Joe: Dude, 2 minutes and 14 seconds...you just barely made the Piss Window.

Sam: Tell me about it. It'd be pretty embarrassing if Julie found out I took a shit on our first date.

Joe: Too late, I just told her.

by TacomaBeags January 26, 2013