Definitions by TacomaBeags

Squiss 

n. (skwi’ss) A small amount of urine remaining in the urethra after a good piss which if not fully squeezed out, may dribble into one’s underpants. This is also known as leopard spotting.

The unit of measurement for squiss is variable and should be calculated using a sliding scale of the sum of 1mL for every inch of girth plus 1mL for every inch of length, or x = 1mL(g) + 1mL(l). Exceed these parameters and squiss ceases to be squiss and you’ve actually just pissed yourself.

Brian: Dude, why you walking so funny?
Spencer: I got squiss running down my leg.
Joe: For you that must be like what, 3 quarts?
Spencer: Damn right.

Squiss by TacomaBeags October 17, 2017

Leopard Spotting 

n. The direct result of squiss or failing to squeeze out any remaining piss in the urethra before pulling your pants up thus creating small patterns of yellow circles in the underpants. This is much like skid marks in the back of underpants.

Brian: Guys, I think I should see a doctor. I’m spotting again.
Joe: Relax, you rushed your piss and now you’re just leopard spotting.
Spencer: My leopard spots are the size of frisbees.

Leopard Spotting by TacomaBeags October 17, 2017

Siamese Tree Frog 

When excessive heat, humidity and sweating cause both sides of the testicles to spread and stick to both legs . This is much like a standard Tree Frog in which the testicles stick to one leg or the other. However, a Siamese Tree Frog distinguishes itself by sticking to both legs simultaneously. This typically occurs - but is not limited to - seated or prone positions. See also Tree Frog.

Brian: Damn son, it's hotter than Hades out here.
Joe: I know man, I'm Siamese Tree Froggin' like sonuvabitch.

Siamese Tree Frog by TacomaBeags October 2, 2017

Piss Window

The ability to poop in the amount of time it would normally take you to piss, so as not to alert guests or hosts as to what you’re truly doing. Making the Piss Window is most critical when dining out with friends, entertaining guests in your home, or visiting the home of another. Failure to make the Piss Window will usually result in bouts of awkwardness as you exit the bathroom, because everyone will know….you just took a shit.

Joe: Dude, 2 minutes and 14 seconds...you just barely made the Piss Window.

Sam: Tell me about it. It'd be pretty embarrassing if Julie found out I took a shit on our first date.

Joe: Too late, I just told her.

Piss Window by TacomaBeags January 26, 2013

Bro Cove 

(n) An area, usually a room or garage, created by a man specifically for that man where he and his bro’s can escape and be themselves without judgment—like a man cave without the masturbation station.

Ah man, it’s 2 am and all the bars are closed. Now what?

Let’s roll over to Billy’s bro cove and watch some Sex and the City.

Bro Cove by TacomaBeags July 4, 2011

One Knight's Stand 

(n) An act of oral sex preformed on a standing male who then wipes his penis dry on the unsuspecting orator's shoulders, from left to right.

Wow bro, look at Liz. She has some great shoulders.

Yah man, it's from all those "One Knight's Stand" 's I give her-- I hear it's good for the skin.

One Knight's Stand by TacomaBeags July 1, 2011

Facebook Minute 

(n) an elongated and obscure period of time spent distracted on Facebook when the original intent was to merely check your messages.

Dude, where’s Mark?

Oh, he just ran inside to check his messages really quick. He’ll back in a Facebook minute.

Fuck, we’re never gonna eat now.

Facebook Minute by TacomaBeags July 1, 2011