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Spirit Bear's definitions

Disassociative Service Breakage

This term speaks of any issue where a customer can't get help because no one in customer service knows how to fix the problem because they never talk to the people who solve technical problems; the customer keeps getting bounced between providers for what appears to them to be the same service to them; or both of those issues.

The problem is that the customer can't get help. No one they can talk to knows who owns the problem, or has any information about it. The people who know how to fix the problem are so far seperated from the customer service team who provide support for the customer that the customer's issue will never be resolved. So they continually insist that the problem lies not with them, but with the other provider.

This also happens with DSL customers who have a problem with their service. They'll call their Internet Service Provider, who will perform basic troubleshooting, then tell them to call their line service provider. The line service provider will perform basic troubleshooting, then send the customer back to their ISP.
I'm experienceing disassociative service breakage with my Ineternet service because Earthlink says the problem is with Qwest but Qwest says the problem is with Earthlink.

A customer has copied their favorite soap opera to DVD and played it on their portable DVD player for a long time. Then recently Comcast upgraded their cable box, and since then everything they record on their Tivo DVR is copy protected, so they can no longer use the service in the way they are used to using it.
by Spirit Bear August 12, 2006
mugGet the Disassociative Service Breakagemug.

netstroke

The act of posting replies to someone's blog entries, sending them IMs or SMS messages, modding up their forum posts or otherwise justifying their actions on the Net as a lead up to a booty call, asking for admin privileges, etc.
Dave's been posting an unusual number of positive comments to my blog, I get the feeling he's netstroking me.

The series of fifteen IMs waiting for me on my machine at home from Tom was a serious netstroke.
by Spirit Bear July 26, 2007
mugGet the netstrokemug.

demo

A program written to show off the mad skillz of a coder, graphician and musician.
Second reality was the most amazing PC demo, it made us go WHOAH! Then there was Second Reality for the C64 and it made us go "touche`".
by Spirit Bear January 28, 2004
mugGet the demomug.

where's the patch

What you should be asked when you complain that your favorite software is missing a feature or has a bug.
You: Why doesn't this program make me a sandwich instead of just sorting lines of text?

Software author: I'd be happy to merge those changes for you. Where's the patch?
by Spirit Bear January 29, 2012
mugGet the where's the patchmug.

charismatic leader

A charismatic leader is someone who is able to assert authority over a person or group of people without any logical basis for rule using only their own charisma.
Some charismatic leaders include Jesus Christ, George W Bush, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and Steve Jobs.
by Spirit Bear September 21, 2007
mugGet the charismatic leadermug.

metrics

Call center slang. This word encompasses the statistics that are taken on call center agents to determine their worth. Usually includes average handle time (AHT), wrap, hold time and a few other basic metrics as well as a few 'spin' metrics added by the client to give the client a feeling of control.
They said Rob got canned because of poor metrics, but we all know the real reason.
by Spirit Bear October 28, 2004
mugGet the metricsmug.

iWant

iWant describes the urge that Apple customers have to be the first to see, touch, buy, own and use Apple products with partial or total disregard for the product's actual market value, total cost of ownership, usefulness in comparison to similar products on the market and/or other important factors that one would normally consider when making a purchasing decision. May be caused exclusively by or by a combination of peer pressure, charismatic leadership, in-vertising and/or viral marketing.

Consumers of with this predisposition are commonly subjected to the Hippy Tax.
Jerry caved in to iWant and bought the iPhone instead of a more practical and functional Smartphone.

James paid a $200 iWant fee when he bought his iPhone on opening day.

It must have been the iWant that made Kerry pay an extra thousand dollars for an aluminum case and an Apple logo on top of a $400 Intel PC.
by Spirit Bear September 20, 2007
mugGet the iWantmug.

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