Romeo and Juliet

An actually good and simple love story bastardized by an English playwright, featuring a fiery but gentle lady from the Capulets/Cappellettis, a stubborn but passionate lad from the Montagues/Montecchis, poison, secret marriage, dagger, death and sleeping with some old bones.
If only those damn teachers know Romeo and Juliet for what it actually is...
by Some Guy in the Tavern September 06, 2023
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Polyamory

Warning: This thing requires a lot of copium to work.(To be honest, it never works.)

So what is Polyamory? Well it's just the flower term for consented cheating. Glorified by cheaters and cuckolds alike, it is having 2 or more partners in a romantic relationship because one is not satisfied with only one partner.

Only idiots will consider this an option, and only the insanely sick commits to this.

Don't do this. Be like an eagle. Be monogamous.

There are so many reasons why it's stigmatized. Just don't do it.
Womyn Karentard: Polyamory is the new norm! It must be promoted to the wider populace! I have two fat non-binary (Male) partners and it's glorious. Best decision of my life. UwU.

Romeo: Only the mentally ill does that, Womyn.

Womyn Karentard: Shut up you cis white male filth!!!! I am always right! I'm sure your partner hates you!!!

Romeo: Uhh... No. We've been together since the 13th century.

Womyn Karentard: MONOGAMY IS CONSTRAINT! IT IS THE ENEMY OF LOVE UDWIWGWUSHEKSJWGASJDVKAAVAAUQ!!!!!!!!!!!

Romeo: You sound like an idiot.

Womyn Karentard: HJSHDJSIASSHAJA SHUT UP MALE SWINE DHJWSHIA!!!!!!!
by Some Guy in the Tavern January 27, 2024
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Romeo and Juliet

Romeo and Juliet is originally a novella written by Italian writer Luigi da Porto, who wrote this because he couldn't marry his cousin. It got revised by a monk named Matteo Bandello, then translated to Baguette Language by some French guy, then landed on Arthur Brooke. He then wrote it as a poem with some dark shit featuring Romeo banging his head against the wall, then named it Romeus and Juliet. And of course, Shakespeare read Brooke's work and based his tragedy on it, and we got the version of Romeo and Juliet that almost everyone hates.

Differences:
• The Da Porto novella features a passionate and truly in love Romeo and Giulietta, while the Shakespeare Tragedy has a set of horny teens who thought lust and love are the same. (I kinda blame it for the tragedy's shoddy timeline and Shakespeare turning them into teens.)
• The Shakespeare Tragedy features Tybalt and Mercutio with personalities, while the Da Porto novella only have them as extras.
• The Shakespeare Tragedy had Romeo dying all alone. In the Da Porto novella, he had Romeo dying until Giulietta woke up. (Kinda like Romeo+Juliet.)

To summarize, Romeo e Giulietta by Da Porto was born out of a man's failed love, while Shakespeare's tragedy was born to torment stupid teens while giving tears to Shakespeare Simps.

If you encounter this and experience symptoms such as cringe, brain damage and boredom, find more adaptations or read the novella.

(If symptoms persist, consult the Hungarian Musical Rómeó és Júlia.)
Romeo and Juliet is not cringe. You just watched a bad adaptation of it.
by Some Guy in the Tavern September 06, 2023
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Dark Romeo

An interpretation of Romeo Montague from Romeo and Juliet that features the guy having dark and creepy tendencies. It ranges from stalker-like behavior to going full nuts after losing his Juliet.

The 1982 Romeo and Juliet film and the Hungarian adaptation of Gerard Presgurvic's Romeo et Juliette: De La Haine a L'Amour had this kind of Romeo interpretation as one of their main flavor.
Dyl: Saw Romeo and Juliet today in a community theatre. The Romeo is kind of creepy, yet very romantic.
Phyl: He must be a Dark Romeo.
by Some Guy in the Tavern September 07, 2023
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Globe Theatre

*The rebuilt one to be specific.*

A disgrace to William Shakespeare himself and the theatre realm as a whole. This "theatre" desecrated Sainte Jehanne la Pucelle (Saint Joan the Maid)

of France with their play "I, Joan", and puts unnecessary trigger warnings and suicide helplines to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, a play known for the damn suicides.

Like dear, imagine being traumatized by this production of Shakespeare's R and J... It's just like Romeo+Juliet by Luhrmann with guns, blackwashed Romeo and Giulietta and stuff. Hungary's Rómeó és Júlia for example is literally far more deranged in all aspects, but they offer no trigger warnings, and it's not even a Shakespeare play. It's a musical. This " Globe Theatre" is absolutely ridiculous.
Woke theatre kid: Joan of Arc is non-binary! I know it all along!
Sane theater lover: Did you go to the Globe Theatre?
Woke theatre kid: Yes! I even watched their Romeo and Juliet! Love it because the couple are represented by blacks! Yay diversity! Also, they offer trigger warnings and helplines too. They're so generous for my gentle mind.
Sane theatre lover: If you think St. Joan is non-binary, then I would recommend you to read the REAL story of her. She's a woman, not non-binary. Also, do you think their R and J is so deranged, it needs the nonsense helplines and TWs?
Woke theatre kid: *drools* Yes! Its bloody, which can upset some people.
Sane theatre lover: *smirks* Try to watch the musical Rómeó és Júlia and come back to me a day later.

A day later...

Sane theatre lover: Hey, how's the musical?
Woke theatre kid: *suicide scene flashbacks*
by Some Guy in the Tavern September 16, 2023
mugGet the Globe Theatremug.

Attila

1. One of the best Romeo actors the world has to offer has this name.

2. Also refers to Attila the Hun.
1. Dyl: Who's the guy who plays as Romeo? He's so good at it.
Phyl: He's Attila.

2. Romans seeing Huns roaming around the rosy: Godammit Attila.
by Some Guy in the Tavern September 09, 2023
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Pop Music

The ultimate musical sacrilege.

Made by soulless businessmen in the Record Label industry, these rats often hire attractive people (movie actors, models, homeless people or whatever) with a decent voice (Mostly hardcore fucked by autotune to sound nice) to sing their lifeless songs for them. They also utilize flashy videos (Which covers up the mess called the "lyrics") featuring the "artist's" heavily-edited abs or fake buttcheeks (Sometimes, they even go full birthday suit...) with dancers doing brothel shit. (It's often lewd as Hell.) Combine it with proven-and-tested "catchy rhythm and melodies" (For boosting the hype of the listener) and intense marketing, it becomes a cash cow for the company who produces it, with views beating both Rock and Art Music combined, and has a popularity rate that is higher than Burj Khalifa.

It preys on the clueless teenagers (Mostly young ladies) with its hype generator, love/edgy lyrics and attractive "artists", harboring tons of money through concert tickets and online albums. It poisons the minds of people through the radio and streaming platforms repeating it again and again, until the populace says it's a good one.

It rips your soul away in every repetition on the radio. It makes you stupid in every lyric. It manipulates you in every beat.

This is Pop Music.
Brittany: would you like to listen to Beyonce?
Dyl: I would rather sniff my own shit than to listen to pop music.
by Some Guy in the Tavern October 11, 2023
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