Shakesmear's definitions

iwack

Being struck by your iPhone while using it in bed. Typically while falling asleep.

Johan got iwacked last night while watching YouTube too late. It was pretty funny.

by Shakesmear July 17, 2022

autoerotic hyperventilation

A loss of consciousness resulting from prolonged overexertion during self-stimulation.

Tony suffered from autoerotic hyperventilation every time he watched a Dua Lipa video. He hit his head pretty badly last time.

by Shakesmear May 13, 2022

orgygomy

The Tetris-like positions participants need to assume to fit into a densely packed orgy.

Andy Dick’s last party was in such a small apartment I had to take the L position in the orgygomy.

by Shakesmear May 8, 2022

Grossmesser

Noun
1.Germanic origin; large sword. Prevalent in medieval Europe.

2.slang; penis

Lady Isabella bid me invite. “Lambkin, put down thy grossmesser and crease my gown” she said softly. “I believe you err, me lady. Thou yearnth me blade. Thou have it!” said I. We banged so hard the UPS guy heard us.

by Shakesmear May 18, 2022

courageous flatulence

A loud (often foul) retort to an unwarranted accusation.

Mellisa accused me of checking out her bff. While she was in middle of her tirade I answered her with courageous flatulence. She was left stunned, disgusted. The conversation concluded, the day won.

by Shakesmear May 11, 2022

hippapotamus

An aggressive and fat nurse.

When I went to the dr the other day the Hippapotamus yelled at me for filling out the forms wrong. I answered her with courageous flatulence.

by Shakesmear May 11, 2022

resort injury

The typically minor injuries one can experience during a tropical vacation. May include Sunburn, sandal blisters, sand in the eyes, and hangovers.

Mila will always get hurt when she goes to Hawaii. Her first day resort injury is typically sunburn. She usual comes back looking like a crippled lobster.

by Shakesmear May 17, 2022