56 definitions by Robert Lanham, Author of Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic

The lovable guy in the office whose lack of diligence is overlooked because he's so darn nice
When it comes to anything outside the realm of television, sports, or pop culture, Hall Monitors are boderline retarded, but they're so agreeable and good-natured that they appeal to everyone nonetheless.
Get the Hall Monitors mug.
Parasitic employees with no skills of their own who are great at delegating tasks to others
Lichens often face a dilemma when they overdelegate and in effect leave themselves with nothing to do.
Get the Office Lichens mug.
People who challenge the conventions of fashion by clashing what appears to be a clean and ironed look with a rank unkempt stench reminiscent of the Bally towel bin.
Unlike the typical unkempt person who knows he's probably a little ripe but just doesn't care, people who are B.O.Blivious are completely unaware of the problem.
Get the B.O.Blivious mug.
he likes things spicy and always has the Tobasco sauce at his desk to prove it
A good Hot Sauce Guy will stock his desk with exotic mixtures from foreign lands, like Singapore Sizzle, Aztec Zinger, and Jalapeno Hal.
Get the Hot Sauce Guy mug.
Gay men who accessorize with tiny dogs to help pull their wardrobe together.
Chihuamos often own bulldogs, shih tzus, pugs, Jack Russell terriers, and other pint-sized to small dogs.
Get the Chihuamos mug.
People who call friends and family regularly, but don't actually have anything to say.
A phone conversation with a telemute often consists of thirty minutes of you trying to come up with something to say.
Get the Telemutes mug.
People who unexpectedly jump into a Spanish accent mid-sentence when pronouncing the word "Latino," only to finish their statement in accent-free English.
Though Jumping Beans were at one time Latino newscasters exclusively, people of any race or occupation can now be Jumping Beans.
Get the Jumping Beans mug.