56 definitions by Robert Lanham, Author of Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic

Backstabbing employees whose inflated ambitions and obsessions with work cause people not to like them and sabotages their chances for advancement
Alpha Weasels are often too consumed by their ambitions to have a life beyond the walls of the office.
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Passive-aggressive Jews who date non-Jews to avoid commitment.
When things get too serious, Antigentites simply break things off, insisting they can only commit to Jewish partners.
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People who unexpectedly jump into a Spanish accent mid-sentence when pronouncing the word "Latino," only to finish their statement in accent-free English.
Though Jumping Beans were at one time Latino newscasters exclusively, people of any race or occupation can now be Jumping Beans.
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Intelligent but socially inept employees who lack the motivation to look for another job in this lifetime
The Lifer is often an unambitious lower-level employee who has been with the company since the dawn of Man.
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bosses who never had to work for anyone else
Napoledrones often overcompensate for their lack of experience by bragging about their private-school educations
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