56 definitions by Robert Lanham, Author of Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic

DL

A gay male who claims to be straight but nevertheless frequents gay clubs and bathhouses to score gay sex.

Many DLs have families and claim to be happily married.

bosses who never had to work for anyone else

Napoledrones often overcompensate for their lack of experience by bragging about their private-school educations

multitasking employees proficient at doing several things all at once

Splitscreens can watch C-SPAN streams, talk on the phone, listen to the radio, send instant messages, and read CNN online all at once.

Laymen paparazzi who commonly spot people who look "just like" celebrities at the mall, church, and Applebee's.

Page Eighty-Sixers point to random people they encounter in public and say, "Doesn't that person look just like Colin Farrell?"

Children who say racially and religiously insensitive things by mistake.

Some Blurts shout out, "Look, she's having a baby," when encountering someone with a weight problem.

Backstabbing employees whose inflated ambitions and obsessions with work cause people not to like them and sabotages their chances for advancement

Alpha Weasels are often too consumed by their ambitions to have a life beyond the walls of the office.

the office equivalent of the disgruntled coffee shop employee

Intelligent underachievers who feel their work environments are suppressive and prevent them from realizing their full creative potential.