56 definitions by Robert Lanham, Author of Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic

Chihuamos

Gay men who accessorize with tiny dogs to help pull their wardrobe together.
Chihuamos often own bulldogs, shih tzus, pugs, Jack Russell terriers, and other pint-sized to small dogs.
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Splitscreens

multitasking employees proficient at doing several things all at once
Splitscreens can watch C-SPAN streams, talk on the phone, listen to the radio, send instant messages, and read CNN online all at once.
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Page Eighty-Sixers

Laymen paparazzi who commonly spot people who look "just like" celebrities at the mall, church, and Applebee's.
Page Eighty-Sixers point to random people they encounter in public and say, "Doesn't that person look just like Colin Farrell?"
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Screamer

The person whose roar will resonate throughout the gym.
The screamer could be on his first rep or his two hundredth, and regardless will roar.
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Dry Lumps

the quietest person in the office during the workday, but after a couple of drinks at the company picnic she's ready to lean over a balcony Mardi Gras-style and take her top off for Girls Gone Wild
Dry Lumps are shy and 100 percent business until one drop of booze transforms her like a shot of Jekyll's formula.
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Splinters

People who defy the rules of breaking up.
Splinters often have knee-jerk responses to "I'm sorry, sweetie, but this isn't working anymore" and will reply with "Oh yeah, well, you're a whore"
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WB

Individuals of an adult age who REALLY idntify with Bugs Bunny characters.
The WBs believe that certain Bugs Bunny characters are apt representations of themselves, revealing inner secrets and magnitudes of depth about their own personalities.
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