Splitscreens

multitasking employees proficient at doing several things all at once
Splitscreens can watch C-SPAN streams, talk on the phone, listen to the radio, send instant messages, and read CNN online all at once.
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Page Eighty-Sixers

Laymen paparazzi who commonly spot people who look "just like" celebrities at the mall, church, and Applebee's.
Page Eighty-Sixers point to random people they encounter in public and say, "Doesn't that person look just like Colin Farrell?"
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Bossmosis

a boss with uncanny ability to discover creative solutions to problems just by having you around
The bossmosis was even generous enough to introduce your ideas to his superiors as his own.
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Office Lichens

Parasitic employees with no skills of their own who are great at delegating tasks to others
Lichens often face a dilemma when they overdelegate and in effect leave themselves with nothing to do.
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The Safeway Sage

Retired men who communicate using gender-based jokes, wife jokes, and corny one-liners like "Working hard or hardly working?"
A Safeway Sage feels that a classic witticism like "I'm not getting old, my mirror is wrinkled" sounds fresh no matter how many times you've heard it.
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Lifer

Intelligent but socially inept employees who lack the motivation to look for another job in this lifetime
The Lifer is often an unambitious lower-level employee who has been with the company since the dawn of Man.
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Barbies

Gay men who define themselves as being transgender or are into cross-dressing and drag shows.
Barbies often prefer city life, given the lack of understanding and sensitivity they find in rural communities.
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