RedDan69's definitions

Hiding a Ruler

Describes a man with a 12 inch long schlong, dick, cock, jimmy, one-eyed trouser snake, woody, penis.

What Sarah didn't know was that Ron was Hiding a Ruler in his pants and planned to use it on her later that night.

Did you hear about the new guy?
what?
He's Hiding a Ruler!
oh wow! Dibs!

by RedDan69 April 28, 2011

Leftovers

n. A term to describe a bowel movement, excrement, feces, poo, dump, etc...

"there are some leftovers in the toilet, someone should flush it down!"

"Chinese and Taco Bell leftovers are always the worst!"

"uh-oh, there's some leftovers in my undies..."

by RedDan69 October 4, 2013

one-a-day

to masturbate.

Can be used as a noun or verb.

Based on the results from the healthystrokes.com survey which reports the average man masturbates 7.2 times per week, or just about one-a-day.

"Sorry I took so long in the shower, I had to do my one-a-day"

"I just one-a-dayed all over the keyboard, anyone know how to clean that up?"

Jack: "Hey dude, why are you so whiny today?"
Jim: "I know, I'm so stressed out"
Jack: "Did you one-a-day yet?"
Jim: "Not yet! BRB ;)"

by reddan69 February 9, 2012

I know it like the back of my ass

phrase.
refers to an unknown area. the opposite of the common phrase "i know it like the back of my hand". Originates from the fact that most people (unless they are porn actors/models) are quite unfamiliar with the backs of their asses.

Joey: oh look that chick lives in Ismay, Montana. I know that place like the back of my hand. I'll get laid for sure!

Tommy: shit, I know it like the back of my ass.
(walks away defeated...)

by RedDan69 February 21, 2011

Oreo Creampie Surprise

Find a black chick with really dark pussy lips. Add the cream filling and have her lay on her side so the lips and the cream look like an oreo cookie. While she is catching her breath after what obviously was the best 40 second long sex session of her life, you quickly put on your best Steve Urkel clothing (suspenders with hiked up pants, cheesy shirt, and big glasses). Get her attention, point to her oreo creampie and exclaim in a high pitched voice, "Did I do That?!?"

My girl and I just got done watching that lame show, Family Matters, so I had to give her the classic oreo creampie surprise! Her dark lips and my white cock snot really looked like an oreo!

well done!

by RedDan69 February 26, 2011

Goal Pants

n. A pair of pants that are too small for the owner, but had once been the correct size. The owner insists on keeping the pants and making it a goal to become the same size they once were and thus fit into the pants. After many failed attempts, the goal size may be attained. However two problems usually arise: the goal pants are out of style (usually 10 or more years old) OR the owner proudly wears the pants for a day or two and then celebrates by eating something fattening, like the baconator and their fit lifestyle fades away and they begin to relapse into the round, tubby, person they will always be.

my girlfriend says that she is gonna fit into these pants again (holds up some tiny ass pants)

Damn!!!!! they are tiny, when's the last time that beefy girl wore those?

When she was three!

Now thats some goal pants!

by RedDan69 February 26, 2011

Chloriney

adj. Chlorine with a y at the end. Used to describe the scent, feel/burn, and taste of chlorine. Usually used in and around swimming pools.

tracy (while standing on the pool deck): Man my eyes are burning.

dan: yea this pool is extra chloriney today.

by RedDan69 February 26, 2011