RedDan69's definitions
n. A pair of pants that are too small for the owner, but had once been the correct size. The owner insists on keeping the pants and making it a goal to become the same size they once were and thus fit into the pants. After many failed attempts, the goal size may be attained. However two problems usually arise: the goal pants are out of style (usually 10 or more years old) OR the owner proudly wears the pants for a day or two and then celebrates by eating something fattening, like the baconator and their fit lifestyle fades away and they begin to relapse into the round, tubby, person they will always be.
my girlfriend says that she is gonna fit into these pants again (holds up some tiny ass pants)
Damn!!!!! they are tiny, when's the last time that beefy girl wore those?
When she was three!
Now thats some goal pants!
Damn!!!!! they are tiny, when's the last time that beefy girl wore those?
When she was three!
Now thats some goal pants!
by RedDan69 February 26, 2011
Get the Goal Pantsmug. Tom: Let's go hang out at Jerry's place.
Anne: Who is Jerry?
Tom: He's a Flaming Butt Monkey!
Anne: Aww, how cute, I'll be there in 10.
Anne: Who is Jerry?
Tom: He's a Flaming Butt Monkey!
Anne: Aww, how cute, I'll be there in 10.
by RedDan69 March 28, 2011
Get the Flaming Butt Monkeymug. v. The act of opening the brown eye of someone very special using a gynecological speculum, sprinkling some nose candy into the dark hole, then packing it in with your hard flesh arrow.
Vanessa: "Ouch! my ass is still hurting and my heart is pounding! What happened last night?"
Manuel: "Actually, a whole gang of us decided to give you a Columbian Colonoscopy... You're Welcome!"
Vanessa: "Oh that makes sense."
Manuel: "By the way, you owe me 20 bucks for the coke."
Vanessa: "Lame!"
Manuel: "Actually, a whole gang of us decided to give you a Columbian Colonoscopy... You're Welcome!"
Vanessa: "Oh that makes sense."
Manuel: "By the way, you owe me 20 bucks for the coke."
Vanessa: "Lame!"
by RedDan69 January 26, 2011
Get the Columbian Colonoscopymug. n. describes the flattening of a woman's large breasts (C-cup or larger) when she lays on her back topless and prepares for insertion.
Jon: Dammmm! shes packing some killer juggs!
Ryan: Oooo yea they are so big round and juicy, like Heinz Hummer's wang!
Dan: you guys are lame, I bet when I go to release the oompa loompas, they gonna look like some nasty Flesh Pancakes!
Ryan: Oooo yea they are so big round and juicy, like Heinz Hummer's wang!
Dan: you guys are lame, I bet when I go to release the oompa loompas, they gonna look like some nasty Flesh Pancakes!
by RedDan69 January 26, 2011
Get the Flesh Pancakemug. Describes a man with a 12 inch long schlong, dick, cock, jimmy, one-eyed trouser snake, woody, penis.
What Sarah didn't know was that Ron was Hiding a Ruler in his pants and planned to use it on her later that night.
Did you hear about the new guy?
what?
He's Hiding a Ruler!
oh wow! Dibs!
Did you hear about the new guy?
what?
He's Hiding a Ruler!
oh wow! Dibs!
by RedDan69 April 28, 2011
Get the Hiding a Rulermug. Conditions/preceding events:
A Male lives at home with his parents
He proceeds to lock himself in his room to watch porn
The porn is turned up to a high decibel
The parents then begin to wonder what the heck is happening in their son's bedroom
While masturbating to the loud porn the male does not hear the initial light tap on his door so he continues to enjoy the pleasures of youporn. The tapping increases to a banging at which point the male is at his vinegar strokes and can't stop to answer the door. The parents have been growing impatient and somehow unlock the door, barging in on the male with his pants down, in a culminating climax (pun intended) in which the shocked male screams and ejaculates on all parties involved. When finished all the ashamed male can think to say is a sheepish, "Surprise?!"
A Male lives at home with his parents
He proceeds to lock himself in his room to watch porn
The porn is turned up to a high decibel
The parents then begin to wonder what the heck is happening in their son's bedroom
While masturbating to the loud porn the male does not hear the initial light tap on his door so he continues to enjoy the pleasures of youporn. The tapping increases to a banging at which point the male is at his vinegar strokes and can't stop to answer the door. The parents have been growing impatient and somehow unlock the door, barging in on the male with his pants down, in a culminating climax (pun intended) in which the shocked male screams and ejaculates on all parties involved. When finished all the ashamed male can think to say is a sheepish, "Surprise?!"
teenager: Man my parents are always making me do shit I don't want to do, I really want to get back at them.
teacher: Yea parents are like that. They only want whats best for you. Have you tried giving them the Pennsylvania Pornographic Surprise lately?
teacher: Yea parents are like that. They only want whats best for you. Have you tried giving them the Pennsylvania Pornographic Surprise lately?
by RedDan69 February 28, 2011
Get the Pennsylvania Pornographic Surprisemug. Noun or verb
Describes when a woman (or feminine man) takes a load in the mouth and then spits it back onto the guy through the gap in her (his) front teeth. This is usually done as payback for a male dominant sex act (i.e. donkey punch, angry dragon, chili rainbow, etc). Named after popular NFL player turned commentator and gap-toothed black man Micheal Strahan.
note: is mainly performed by gap-toothed hood rats and flaming butt monkeys, but some rich divorcees have been know to do the Michael Strahan from time to time.
Describes when a woman (or feminine man) takes a load in the mouth and then spits it back onto the guy through the gap in her (his) front teeth. This is usually done as payback for a male dominant sex act (i.e. donkey punch, angry dragon, chili rainbow, etc). Named after popular NFL player turned commentator and gap-toothed black man Micheal Strahan.
note: is mainly performed by gap-toothed hood rats and flaming butt monkeys, but some rich divorcees have been know to do the Michael Strahan from time to time.
Yo my man just gave me the Sneaky Castro last night so I gave him the old Micheal Strahan!
as a verb: I just Michael Strahan'd that cheating bastard of a husband!
as a verb: I just Michael Strahan'd that cheating bastard of a husband!
by RedDan69 March 11, 2011
Get the Michael Strahanmug.