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Definitions by RaLpH

Squirrel 

This is a term for a light person who can drink as much if not more than you.
Eric Ward is a squirril. He drank his body weight in beer tonite.
Squirrel by Ralph February 12, 2005

Pessimist 

A person who, if they refrain from suicide, will one day be happy.
A: It's freezing. My heater's broken, and it's ten below zero. I cut my arm on a rusty fence, and my idiot neighbour pissed on my house today. I hate this goddamn planet!

B: Hey, you like apple pie?

A: Shut the...well yeah I actually I do.

B: Great, let's go. No, put your wallet down; I've got it covered.
Pessimist by Ralph January 13, 2005

high school

A miserable prison for young people whose lives are usually hard enough as it is. Often there's a poor kid who hasn't eaten in four days and doesn't have electricity. He sits and waits for lunch, where he gets to eat a piece of month-old bread and drink half a glass of concentrated orange juice. That is, unless someone steals it and pours it on his head. Later, he gets his clothes stolen in the locker room and a spray of deodourant in his eyeballs. Lastly he's taunted by girls who have so little ego that they mock the poor kid, just for kicks. Then he trudges home carrying a 40 pound backpack because someone forgot to pick him up.
Hey Ralph; where ya off to?
High...sch..the place that I go in the morning..won't you please shoot me now?
high school by Ralph January 12, 2005
Web weaver of tall tales. One who claims to be an expert in power generation, web hosting and XJ fuel economy.

See also: turd dillhole
Never trust your website to zmoz.
zmoz by Ralph December 29, 2004
holy fuck there's a ton of heese!
heese by ralph November 18, 2004

batchweezer 

it's a big ol' douchebag
you are a batchweezer
batchweezer by ralph November 18, 2004
ya i reckon ima head on back to cowtown yall.
cowtown by ralph November 18, 2004