RATTnroll's definitions

Green Ghetto Dweller

There’s bringing a knife to a gun fight - and then there’s bringing an Android to an iPhone group text. That one friend or relative who turns what would otherwise be a beautiful blue iMessage experience into a half-assed (and limited to 10 participant) green colored piece of shit. They must live in the ghetto ‘cos their mama couldn’t afford to buy them an iPhone, or maybe it’s still on lay-a-way at K-mart. This mofo might still have to hit 4 two times and then again three more times just to say “Hi”.

I’m gonna leave Oates out of the group text because I don’t want that Green Ghetto Dweller fucking it up - Darryl Hall

by RATTnroll September 25, 2024

Quarantainment

Mediocre lowbrow crap that helps you escape boredom and seems more entertaining than it really is because you’re in quarantine due to COVID-19.

Tiger King? Now that’s quality quarantainment!

by RATTnroll May 15, 2020

Streamspoiling

An act committed by those viewing a sporting event live or on broadcast TV, whereby texts or tweets announce key events (such as scores, turnovers, or big defensive plays) before they happen on live streaming (because streaming is several seconds delayed behind real time or broadcast TV). Thus our broadcast TV friends ruin the sports viewing experience for those of us online by giving away the outcomes before we see them happen.

(Bob, watching the game on his phone): It's 3rd and goal from the 17. Crowd is going wild...
(Jim, via twitter): TOUCHDOWN!!!
(Bob): Aw god damn it, Jim is watching this on TV and streamspoiling this shit for me....

by RATTnroll November 16, 2019

Hashtag Mom

A suburban mom who spends 99% of her life on instagram hash tagging the shit out of every fucking thing on her posts, singlehandedly responsible for making hashtags not cool anymore. 100% of a hashtag mom's hashtags actually don't link to a single other thing. Before he died, Stephen Hawking may have predicted that the demise of instagram would come as a result of hashtag moms annoying the fuck out of all the other users. #suburbanmom #whohashtagseverything #inherinstagramposts #tryingtobecool #notcoolitsannoying #annoyingaf #idontgiveashitaboutyourkidshalloweenparty

Dave: OMG what the fuck is with Kayla, she posted on instagram about going to the pumpkin patch with her kids preschool class and she put about 5 lines of hashtags on it. How annoying!
Anthony Weiner: What an annoying hashtag mom. I'm gonna unfollow her as soon as I finish posting these dick pics.

by RATTnroll August 21, 2019

Anchorman (the drinking game)

The single greatest drinking game in the history of drinking games. The Decathlon of drinking games.

REQUIRES: 2 teams of 5. 1 pitcher. Beer. 10 quarters.
OBJECT: To get fucked up.
GAMEPLAY:

1. Pitcher is filled with beer and placed in the middle of a table between the 2 teams of 5. Teams and players take turns shooting quarters into the pitcher. First team to 5 quarters in wins.

2. Either the winning team selects or the losing team designates an "Anchorman". The losing team must finish the entire pitcher of beer - each player gets one chug, then passes to the next player. The Anchorman goes last, and must finish whatever the 4 other players on his/her team do not drink.
3. "SEND IT BACK": Alternatively, the Anchorman can volunteer to go first - and if the Anchorman chugs the entire pitcher on his/her own, the pitcher is then refilled with beer and is sent back to the other team - who similarly must select/designate an Anchorman and finish the pitcher.
PLAY CONTINUES UNTIL: Everyone is too fucked up to continue or some hot girls arrive and want to play "I never"

Anchorman is the decathlon of drinking games: The game combines quarters skill, chugging ability, tolerance and stamina, and general ballsiness all in one.

Anchorman was the preferred drinking game at Duke University in the early-to-mid 1990's.

Gen Xer: Dude lets play some Anchorman (the drinking game)
Millenial: OK I'll be Ron Burgundy
Gen Xer: No the drinking game not the movie
Millenial: OK we'll drink every time Champ and Brick....
Gen Xer: Forget it, I'll just play by myself - got any Natty Light?
Millenial: Is that a new sour IPA?
(Gen Xer proceeds to kick the Millenial's ass, ties him up with his braided leather belt, then puts on Dave Matthews to chill out...)

by RATTnroll June 13, 2019

Swerpose

When one swerves accidentally and tries to make the accidental swerve look purposeful to avoid detection for being a bad driver, stoopid, or drunk. A swerpose starts as a little drifting to one side or another, usually on the highway. The driver, realizing that he or she is swerving and looks drunk or high, just goes ahead and changes lanes trying to make it look purposeful, when it really isn't.

Beto O'Rourke, to cop at DUI checkpoint: "I swear officer I just had a snapple and was changing lanes to avoid the oncoming milk truck."
Cop: "you are drunk as shit, that was a swerpose, and there is no milk truck. Got any donuts?"
Ted Cruz, flying by at 110 mph: "I got your donut, it's around my dick mothafucka!"
Cop: "Not again!"

by RATTnroll December 21, 2018

wannamilf

A woman who thinks she is a lot hotter than she actually is and relishes in the (perceived) attention. Constantly scans the environment for guys who she thinks are checking her out (but really aren't). She sneers and glares at them in disapproval, when in reality she basks in the attention she thinks she is getting (but really isn't). Annoying AF. Usually middle-aged women age 30-40's, generally not hideous looking but not that hot. Can often be seen at fitness clubs primping themselves in the mirror and scanning the environment to see who she thinks is checking them out - but really isn't.

"Dude, that wannamilf over there thinks you're checking her out. She looks pissed but keeps looking back at you."
"I wasn't looking at her, I was just looking around for the bathroom - I gotta piss"

by RATTnroll September 11, 2018