QuacksO's definitions

dream guy

Referring to a gal's fantasy-idea of a perfect fuzzy-chested snuggle-buddy, this type of fellow not only treats his lady right and is kind, gentle, smart, funny, etc., but he also always keeps an eye on how she's resting while taking a nap, and then he immediately wakes her up whenever her agonized tossing and/or whimpering indicates that she's having a nightmare, so that she doesn't have to needlessly suffer from the bad dream for even one instant longer.

Groggy red-eyed dude: I love how Tiffany adoringly calls me her dream guy and always lets me sleep with her, but she sometimes has several nightmares back-to-back which oblige me to keep waking her up and then soothing her back to sleep again, and so I often don't get much shut-eye myself!

by QuacksO December 24, 2017

pontune boat

A twin-hulled watercraft dat plays music.

After da radio-and-Victrola-blasting Hullabaloos irresponsibly wrecked da Margoletta motor cruiser, I wonder if they switched to a pontune boat for more "stable" water-based regaling of da shoreline residents with their awful jazz and dance numbers?

by QuacksO October 22, 2025

auspissies

Supportive resources to help you "drain your radiator".

You can "be a real whiz" at "taking a whiz" when you're under da auspissies of herbs like saw palmetto and horsetail.

by QuacksO November 19, 2025

jackasspirin

An over-da-counter med dat brings blessed relief from stress-headaches caused by all of da brainless people in yer life. Caution: use only as directed --- side-effects from overuse include YOUR becoming a clueless blithering idiot, also.

Da biggest prob wif jackasspirin is dat --- like many mind-and/or-body-altering pharmaceuticals --- it produces a largely-identical condition if a person takes too much of it as he'd experience if he wasn't taking enough; i.e., before he started poppin' pills, he was totally "out of it" due to da mind-numbing effects of da innumerable morons in his life, and now he's similarly stumblin' around in woozy med-hazed bewilderment.

by QuacksO March 2, 2025

dental retainer

What a tooth-doctor gives an attorney to handle all of his malpractice-suits and other legal hassles.

Some dentists find lawyers with periodontal issues and then get said gum-pained stiffs to work for them for free by threatening to take away their dental retainers.

by QuacksO September 6, 2019

Ethan Couch ain't got nuthin' on me

A "modern day" variation on the classic "I'll be able to call David Rockefeller a tramp" saying, and used to humorously refer to your having made a modest profit and/or unexpectedly gained a few bucks extra on a difficult job you recently completed.

Cool hunk #1, seeing his buddy --- who had jokingly told him earlier that morning that he was "wearing himself out getting rich" by driving here and there around town for a couple hours to give several people car-rides for a few bucks apiece --- feverishly lugging humongous bundles of bagged returnable-containers along a hot dusty highway: Gettin' too rich there, Dude?
Cool hunk #2: Yeah, fer sher, Pal --- I declare, I'm gettin' so gol-durned filthy-rich that I can hardly even carry all my vast wealth around! Ethan Couch ain't got nuthin' on me!

by QuacksO August 17, 2018

eeriesistible

What adrenaline-junkies find haunted houses, creepy movies, and other fear-inducing objects/presentations.

Some people find da Amityville Horror House to be eeriesistible, but as for me, I strongly DISlike being scared, and so I think "Ell Passo" on visiting said structure located at 112 Ocean Avenue!

by QuacksO June 17, 2023