Definitions by QuacksO

arsenist 

Denotes someone who verbally "lights a fire under people" to try and persuade them to give him some ass, either literally or figuratively (i.e., he may not literally ask for sexual favors, but he will request something "equally momentous" that far exceeds what he could reasonably expect under the circumstances). This intense and persistent pressuring could include attempted bribery, laying a guilt trip on the person, offering to forgive a debt/obligation that the potential provider owes him, refusing to provide much-needed assistance unless the person "submits his cheeks", etc.

Motorist who has slid into a ditch: I would rather pay a tow truck than call Harry for help --- he's such an awful arsenist!

arsenist by QuacksO January 13, 2015

gluteun-free 

(adj.) Describes a self-imposed lifestyle or prescribed treatment where someone attempts to get through his entire day and night without giving or partaking of any ass. Usually fails miserably unless one is a hermit, since in populated areas there are so many round plump juicy posteriors around that are seemingly just begging to be pinched or humped.

Store owner, to male customer in the toilet-tissue aisle: Please don't squeeze the Charmin, sir.
Recovering skirt-chaser: Look, buster --- cut the poor horny guy some slack, willya?! My doctor told me to go completely gluteun-free in an attempt to cure me of feeling up the ladies, and I've gone three days without any ass, so I need to do something to semi-slake my consumptive cravings!

gluteun-free by QuacksO January 13, 2015

trojan horse 

A girl who only lets a guy "ride" her if he wears protection (i.e., a "Trojan" condom).

Stud #1: Wooo-hoooo... that Tiffany is totally smokin' hot! How come she doesn't have more guys after her?

Stud #2: Oh --- she's one of those trojan horses, and most guys prefer gals who will "just do it" anytime and anywhere.

trojan horse by QuacksO January 10, 2015

saddle-soap 

A hunorous term for personal lubricant --- a warming and/or soothing slippery liquid/gel that is applied to the "contact areas" prior to intercourse, so that both the guy and the gal get a more comfy "ride".

Hottie #1: Yo! Why the groaning and crossed legs, Girl?
Hottie #2: Oh, it's just my new boyfriend, hunny --- he's so "big" and enthusiastic that I always feel sore "down there" for a while after we "do it".
Hottie #1: Aw, major bummer, sweetie --- you guys shoulda used saddle-soap!

saddle-soap by QuacksO January 10, 2015

C.P.R.

Coughing Poop Release. Refers to a self-administered emergency technique when unable to poop normally; somewhat similar to the Heimlich maneuver, it involves coughing vigorously to dislodge and eject the organic object clogging the bodily orifice.

I was mildly constipated, so I used C.P.R. to help me eliminate.

C.P.R. by QuacksO October 13, 2014

chiropractice 

What a medical student does when learning to manipulate limbs and joints. Often difficult to accomplish, because nobody wants to be a "guinea pig" and entrust his delicate tendons and ligaments to an eager-but-inexperienced "greenhorn".

My macho buddy wants to try cracking his friends' shoulders and necks for chiropractice... count me out!

chiropractice by QuacksO October 13, 2014

Klondike bar floozie 

Not to be confused with a bar floozie (a "loose" female who hangs around a bar waiting for some hot young stud to pick her up), this term refers to an equally "loose" gal with such a sweet tooth that she is NEVER "ashamed of what she done for a Klondike bar".

A Klondike bar floozie seldom has to buy her own ice cream sandwiches during the summertime; she just hangs around the supermarket parking lot and watches for hot young hunks who are heading to their vehicles with bulging shopping bags full of Klondike bars, and then hurries over and offers them a little touchy-feely/nookie-wookie in exchange for one of the scrumptious frozen treats.

Klondike bar floozie by QuacksO September 16, 2014