Definitions by QuacksO

crap table

Refers to any debris-cluttered horizontal-topped item of furniture normally used for dining, writing/drawing, repairing/constructing, etc.

You can often tell the difference between a bachelor-pad and a couple/family-apartment simply by glancing around to observe how stuff is arranged --- if there's a lady in the house, everything will generally be neat and orderly, whereas a guy who lives alone will likely have at least one crap table where the flotsam and jetsam of typical everyday single-dude existence tends to gravitate to and then never see the light of day for months... he simply tosses his randomly-acquired tidbits there because at the time the items seem too precious/possibly-useful to discard, but then when he eventually has to rummage through his "treasures" to find some solitary item he put there six months ago, he face-palmingly wonders why he ever held onto most of the crap in the first place (extra points if he thought to drag over a wastebasket before beginning his "attack" on the pile).

crap table by QuacksO February 5, 2018

immideny

The opposite of an immigrant; this is someone who is not allowed to enter or become a citizen of a foreign country.

The Donald thinks that The Wall will be effective in his Mexican Immideny control plan, but such a gargantuan structure would be so prohibitively expensive to construct and difficult to monitor that it would just be a huge boondoggle.

immideny by QuacksO February 1, 2018

intrapenis injection

1. Where a dude is administered a dose of meds by inserting a smooth-tipped syringe into his urethra.
2. Where Dude#1 jizzes into a specially-designed syringe as described in Definition #1, and then injects said jizz into Dude#2's tallywacker so that his own sperm will be also released along with Dude#2's load during his next intercourse-session.

Intrapenis injection can be useful in at least two commonly-occurring circumstances: one is if Dude #1 wishes that the gal whom Dude#2 is about to mate with would allow him to "do it" with her, too, and so at least he can know that his own love-juice will be deposited into the gal's "special spot" along with the other guy's load; the other situation would be if the two guys are concerned that the gal may get pregnant, and so they hope to confuse a DNA-test by mixing up their jizz on its way in.

intrapenis injection by QuacksO February 1, 2018

Laurel and Hardy reasoning 

Using the actions/mentality of "The Boys" as role models for ordinary daily living and/or social behavior, causing you to frequently make preposterous blunders that create chaos/humiliation to both yourself and any other unsuspecting unfortunates who happen to currently be in your general vicinity.

I don't get it --- I clearly explain to people about my Laurel and Hardy reasoning whenever they object/protest about my choices of everyday actions, but they always just roll their eyes at my innocent "Well, that's how 'The Duo' always performed this type of task in their films" excuse.

Laurel and Hardy reasoning by QuacksO January 26, 2018

till-skimmer 

An agricultural employee who secretly snitches some of the topsoil after mechanically turning over the earth in the spring.

I installed security-cameras in my field's scarecrows to keep an eye out for till-skimmers.

till-skimmer by QuacksO January 22, 2018

truck farm 

An agricultural establishment where pickups and big-rigs are grown.

They grow VEGETABLES on a VEGETABLE farm, FRUIT on a FRUIT farm, TREES on a TREE farm, and MILK AND COWS on a DAIRY farm, so what do they grow on a TRUCK FARM? Why, TRUCKS, naturally! (Well, duhhh...) And I'll bet they even have separate pickup-truck seed-packets for Chevys, Dodges, Fords, GMCs, etc., and then individual semi-trailer seeds for Kenworths, Macks, Whites, Freightliners, Peterbilts, etc. Probably the trucks all start out green as they're maturing, and then they eventually"ripen" into different paint-colors when they're ready to harvest. :P

truck farm by QuacksO January 20, 2018

hypertextia 

A serious mental condition characterized by excessive text-messaging on one's smart-phone (and/or obsessively imploring others nearby to let him use their cell phones for continued/additional texting if his own phone's battery runs out of juice from the user's constant voluminous correspondence).

Don't knock hypertextia too hard --- st least the person is willing to openly interact with others like all get out, which is more than can be said of many anti-social/closed-mouthed people... better to communicate too much than not enough.

hypertextia by QuacksO January 18, 2018