Definitions by QuacksO
coronary distress
Refers to either of two similarly-unhealthful "wound up" conditions:
(1) The fiercely-strong "internal burning" and obsessive determination that Indiana Jones had felt ever since he was a boy to recover the Cross of Coronado and donate it to Marcus Brody's museum for display in their collection of Spanish antiquities.
(2) Frustration/tedium-provoked high blood pressure, heart-palpitations, etc. suffered by a feverishly-aggravated returnable-containers collector who is repeatedly compelled to laboriously shake/rinse out slimy globs of rotted lime from each and every discarded Corona Light bottle that he comes across.
(1) The fiercely-strong "internal burning" and obsessive determination that Indiana Jones had felt ever since he was a boy to recover the Cross of Coronado and donate it to Marcus Brody's museum for display in their collection of Spanish antiquities.
(2) Frustration/tedium-provoked high blood pressure, heart-palpitations, etc. suffered by a feverishly-aggravated returnable-containers collector who is repeatedly compelled to laboriously shake/rinse out slimy globs of rotted lime from each and every discarded Corona Light bottle that he comes across.
Why can't beer-imbibers just add lemon juice to their bottled drinks 'stedda stuffin' in huge chunks of whole limes?! I mean, don't get me wrong, now --- I **do indeed** deeply appreciate it when generous folks around town give me their huge "after da party" piles of empties to cash in, but still... I am soooooo totally gonna get a major case of coronary distress (not to mention carpel tunnel syndrome if I hafta keep abusin' my poor weak wrists) from my agonized shakin' out of all da 0%!$&#!@ fruit-blobs from every single bleepin' one of all these narrow-necked bottles here, not to mention havin' to also slosh-rinse each bottle afterwards in my water-filled 5-gallon plastic bucket here, to remove da stinky-moldy pulp-residues! (Sorry, but I respect the hard-workin’ redemption-center staff far too much to give them filthy-messy bottles, thank you very much!) And THEN of course, I’m also gonna hafta CLEAN UP ALL DA SLOPPY ROTTEN CITRUS-CLUMPS outta my door-yard after I get done processing my returnables, so that visitors don't slip on them or track in yuckies onto my nice clean carpet!
coronary distress by QuacksO November 16, 2018
total boyfriend inclusion
Refers to where you specifically request da "main squeeze" of a smokin’-hot number whom you're also super-fond of to actively "partake 'n' participate" in da assorted fun/pleasant activities dat you yourself usually engage in wif said blinky-eyed damsel whenever she’s honoring you wif her warm-natured companionship.
Total boyfriend inclusion can have at least three awesome advantages:
(1) It removes any anxiety/jealousy dat da dude might otherwise feel while you're "dabbin' it up" wif his sweetie-pie, since he'll be right there to observe everything dat happens. Plus he will be grateful to you for thoughtfully "including" him in said pleasant activities, so dat he doesn't feel "left out" at all.
(2) It helps da **girl** to feel more comfy wif your affectionate attentions, too, of course, since she no longer will hafta be concerned dat any of da activities dat she shares wif you might be considered "doing something behind her dream-guy's back". And again, there will be da same strong element of appreciation towards you, just as in Example #1 --- da gal will respect you for inviting her honey-bear to "come along for da ride", and so this will earn you lots of extra "brownie-points" wif HER, too.
(3) It will allow da dude to actually observe and experience all of da nice stuff dat you and Miss Cutie-Pie love to share, so dat he can clearly see first-hand what things she most enjoys, and how she likes dem performed. This can be especially helpful and welcome for a dude who is a bit clumsy and/or unaware, and thus he has not always been able to give Miss Smileysweet da more “delicate” nuances dat she craves when he’s “puttin’ da lovies” to her, such as rubbing her neck/back/limbs/feet in a truly soothing/sensuous manner, making discreet/diplomatic word-choices in “awkward” situations, etc.
(1) It removes any anxiety/jealousy dat da dude might otherwise feel while you're "dabbin' it up" wif his sweetie-pie, since he'll be right there to observe everything dat happens. Plus he will be grateful to you for thoughtfully "including" him in said pleasant activities, so dat he doesn't feel "left out" at all.
(2) It helps da **girl** to feel more comfy wif your affectionate attentions, too, of course, since she no longer will hafta be concerned dat any of da activities dat she shares wif you might be considered "doing something behind her dream-guy's back". And again, there will be da same strong element of appreciation towards you, just as in Example #1 --- da gal will respect you for inviting her honey-bear to "come along for da ride", and so this will earn you lots of extra "brownie-points" wif HER, too.
(3) It will allow da dude to actually observe and experience all of da nice stuff dat you and Miss Cutie-Pie love to share, so dat he can clearly see first-hand what things she most enjoys, and how she likes dem performed. This can be especially helpful and welcome for a dude who is a bit clumsy and/or unaware, and thus he has not always been able to give Miss Smileysweet da more “delicate” nuances dat she craves when he’s “puttin’ da lovies” to her, such as rubbing her neck/back/limbs/feet in a truly soothing/sensuous manner, making discreet/diplomatic word-choices in “awkward” situations, etc.
total boyfriend inclusion by QuacksO November 16, 2018
stainless steal
I hear dat da "disgraced first couple" may have eventually returned da While House utensils, but it was still wrong --- and a terribly bad example to set for youngsters across America --- to perform da "stainless steal act" in da first place.
stainless steal by QuacksO November 15, 2018
stainless-steel stomach
A "step above" the infamous "cast-iron stomach", this term refers to a digestive tract that's supposedly so "bulletproof" that the eater can consume virtually anything that's even "remotely edible", such as burned/fermented dishes, food that's gone so stale that "even da dog won't touch it", etc.
A local farmer-family was gonna just toss a whole heaping bushel-basket full of overripe vegetables that they didn't wanna try to sell, but I hastily begged them to let me have the produce, since I have a stainless-steel stomach, and so I really didn't mind stuffing my face on squishy cucumbers, woody-skinned hubbards, and semi-flabby zucchini for da next few weeks, since it saved me something in Food Stamps. A bit of an insipid-tasting chore, to be sure, but fortunately I happen to really like cukes and squash. so it worked out okay for me.
stainless-steel stomach by QuacksO November 15, 2018
sirtification
Sirtification is often fairly easy to give, since most any guy's "identifying junk" gets much bigger when he is excited, and so all you hafta do would be to bring a cute naked lady into his general vicinity to easily determine whether he's really a dude or not. "Ma'ammification", on the other hand, can be considerably tougher to reliably obtain, since a gal's boobs do not become noticeably larger when she is sexually aroused, and so a fairly "flat-chested" female might not look all that "womanly" distinctive, especially since many guys also possess very noticeable "man boobs" due to hormonal mess-ups, and so the two sets of organs may not really look all that different from each other.
sirtification by QuacksO November 15, 2018
Doctor Moangroan
Refers to any "low-stamina" dude --- usually middle-aged or older --- with moderate chronic aches and pains which prevent him from seeking regular employment, although he does still attempt to assist other less-fortunates in "treating" or "curing" minor difficulties in their everyday lives. Every town has at least one or two of these unique hombres.
It's often very easy to determine if Doctor Moangroan is back in town or not --- just poke your head out your front door and crane your head up da street and down da street... if ya hear him moanin' and groanin'. then you know he's back in town. Any time "da Big M" does wearily shuffle back into city limits on his way home again from a brief sojourn to do grocery-shopping or visit friends in a distant place, the townspeople hastily schedule a "Groaners' Anonymous" meeting; to give D.M. his due credit, he has absolutely zero hesitation in acknowledging that he does indeed suffer from a major "groaning" problem, and so he ALWAYS goes to the meeting --- every time --- in fact, he CHAIRS the group --- he heads it up! Not sure how much actual benefit da meetings do him or da multitudes of other huge balding and hairy-stomached dudes with fibromyalgia, Arthur Itis, and/or Charles Horse who also attend said gatherings, but at least you get plenty of companionship, plus they always pass out free glucosamine, chondroitin, and MSM pills to help ease da guys' aches somewhat, and so that's a good thing.
Doctor Moangroan by QuacksO November 15, 2018
because it's good for you
The ultimate b**ls**t reason that someone in authority impatiently tells you to forcibly pressure you to consume/do something you detest, such as insipidly chomp through a huge bowl of oatmeal, choke down hard/sticky/bitter medicine-pills/powder/syrup, bake in the sun for extended periods, attend school/church, meet/interact with someone whom you fear/dislike, or any other acutely-disagreeable action of dubious --- and still largely unproven, in many cases --- effectiveness or benefit.
Using the age-old "because it's good for you" reasoning to convince someone to perform one or more disagreeable tasks --- especially if you cannot be totally certain that said procedure actually is indeed necessary/appropriate/effective for that particular person, and in those particular circumstances --- has always been an unwise and hurtful procedure; not only may it needlessly subject the "sufferer" to untold misery, but it also can often cause the agonized "victim" to totally turn away from and obsessively do the exact opposite of said practices/procedures (such as entirely shunning "health foods" like vegetables in favor of junk foods like chips and soda, or tempestuously refusing to hear or discuss anything even remotely alluding to religion) just as soon as he gets old enough to begin making his own decisions, and cause him to live an exceedingly unhealthy and "intellectually isolated" lifestyle. Plus it is an especially tragic mistake in current times, when there now exist so many far-more-palatable alternatives to the "basic 'n' boring" past methods of carrying out said "necessary tortures", such as using fun educational videos instead of having to tediously bury one's nose in a dusty book, or administering pleasant-flavored herbal/medicinal beverages instead of following a horridly "strict 'n' mundane" Puritan-type diet.
because it's good for you by QuacksO November 15, 2018