Definitions by QuacksO

Only fir trees should wear tips

A forest-conservationist's verbal equivalent to da large-mammal-lover's "Only elephants should wear ivory" saying.

Tipping trees for making wreaths has never been a good idea --- i.e., only fir trees should wear tips, and it harms the tree to remove them --- but it's not even necessary if you want wreaths to decorate your house, since so many inexpensive and perfectly-suitable artificial wreaths are available that not only look just as good as natural ones, but last for many years if properly cared for.

Only fir trees should wear tips by QuacksO November 15, 2025

pagun ritual

An "ungodly" display of firearms dat has been practiced for many generations.

During his drug-prices "negotiations" with Sal Luccione, Clarence Boddicker seemed largely unfazed by all of da assorted bang-sticks dat were pointed at him, indicating dat said mass display of firepower was merely a pagun ritual dat had played out in his life many times before.

pagun ritual by QuacksO November 15, 2025

royaltee

Da handsome "shilling a hole" winner's pot dat Goldfinger hoped to gain by playing his "fixed" golf-game wif James Bond.

Goldfinger may indeed "own da club" himself, but I invented da wooden ball-perches dat they used for da games, so he should pay me a royaltee for each putt.

royaltee by QuacksO November 15, 2025

royaltea

What you hafta pay a brewed-herbs producer each time you serve up a steaming aromatic cup of their delightful beverage.

If you don't enjoy paying royalteas, just dump all of said product overboard into Boston harbor!

royaltea by QuacksO November 15, 2025

twowishion

Collage expenses dat are so enormous dat you hafta ask for them as two of da three wishes dat you get for letting da genie outta da bottle.

Rather than requesting "twowishion" from da genie, why not just ask him to magically install said learning/knowledge into your brain himself so dat you can skip da expensive college education in da first place???

twowishion by QuacksO November 12, 2025

It's been true from the gecko.

Describes da fact dat a Government Employees Insurance Company policy has always been extremely easy to sign up for --- so easy, in fact, dat even an "ancient" caveman during da beginning of civilization could have done it.

Even if actor Jeff Daniel Phillips's "dumb 'n' crude" advertising-figure character takes a plane to a distant point on da globe, "there's always something" --- such as a huge poster mounted on da wall of da airport-terminal dat trumpets da company offering ridiculously-simple-to-get auto-coverage --- "to remind him of another place and time"; said reminder is nothing new: it's been true from the gecko.

It's been true from the gecko. by QuacksO November 12, 2025

gastronomical Geiger counter

Yer noisy "butt-crack" dat "cracklingly" detects whenever you've been in close proximity to baked beans or cabbage.

John claimed he hadn't had any beans for supper, but his loudly-registering gastronomical Geiger counter told a different story!

gastronomical Geiger counter by QuacksO November 11, 2025