I looked over art by da likes of Michelangelo and da Vinci, and I conclewded dat da state of da human mind was just as crass and lustful as it is today, what with all of da shameless nudity and debauchery depicted in said paintings.
by QuacksO April 15, 2022
Get the conclewdmug. "The desirability of and/or your need for an item at a garage sale will be in direct inverse proportion to the likelihood of your actually being able to purchase it."
The four most common/infuriating occasions when Murphy's Law of Garage Sales holds true:
(1) A desired item is something that's just stored in the family's garage; it’s not one of the items for sale.
(2) The item has already been sold, and the homeowner is just “holding” it till the buyer gets back with either the money or a vehicle to transport the item to his own home.
(3) The item is too expensive, and the seller will not budge on the price. (Note: this is not always an "all hope is lost" situation --- you may have at least two additional options. First, try coming back again later in the day to see if the item is still unsold --- if YOU think that the item is overpriced, then most OTHER yard-sailers may think so, too, and so nobody else may have bought the item yet, either, giving you a second crack at possibly purchasing it at a reduced price, especially since by now the seller may likely feel a bit "desperate" to get rid of it. And second, have a glance at the trash-heap out front of the person’s house that evening --- sometimes unsold yard-sale items will simply be tossed out, and so you can then get them for free.)
(4) The item is something that you would logically want to test out first to make sure it operates satisfactorily, but there is no hookup for electricity/water/telephone/internet/antenna/audio/video at the site of the sale, and the stubborn owner will not allow you to either bring the item into his house or temporarily take it somewhere else to test it.
(1) A desired item is something that's just stored in the family's garage; it’s not one of the items for sale.
(2) The item has already been sold, and the homeowner is just “holding” it till the buyer gets back with either the money or a vehicle to transport the item to his own home.
(3) The item is too expensive, and the seller will not budge on the price. (Note: this is not always an "all hope is lost" situation --- you may have at least two additional options. First, try coming back again later in the day to see if the item is still unsold --- if YOU think that the item is overpriced, then most OTHER yard-sailers may think so, too, and so nobody else may have bought the item yet, either, giving you a second crack at possibly purchasing it at a reduced price, especially since by now the seller may likely feel a bit "desperate" to get rid of it. And second, have a glance at the trash-heap out front of the person’s house that evening --- sometimes unsold yard-sale items will simply be tossed out, and so you can then get them for free.)
(4) The item is something that you would logically want to test out first to make sure it operates satisfactorily, but there is no hookup for electricity/water/telephone/internet/antenna/audio/video at the site of the sale, and the stubborn owner will not allow you to either bring the item into his house or temporarily take it somewhere else to test it.
by QuacksO August 01, 2018
Get the Murphy's Law of Garage Salesmug. A fabric made from a disgusting blend of materials dat merely imitates a soft fluffy absorbent surface, but in fact is so uncomfortable to have against your skin dat you actually wish you were dead whenever you are unfortunate enough to have to actually wear said repulsive cloth.
Doc Brown was "allergic to all synthetics", and so he had wisely decided to bring along cotton underwear in his suitcase when first setting out in his time machine; there was "Noah Wayne Hellman" dat he was gonna risk having to wear any semiterry clothing during his journey to da future!
by QuacksO August 22, 2022
Get the semiterrymug. Coca-Cola really committed an entreepreneurial flub when they tried releasing a reformulated beverage instead of their classic recipe.
by QuacksO June 07, 2021
Get the entreepreneurmug. Ancient record-keeping files dat describe da performance and/or location of da famous golden chest of da Covenant.
If Rene Belloq had sifted though da ancient arkives instead of relying on da arrogant and incompetent Nazis for help and guidance, he might have located da precious metal vessel before Indiana Jones did.
by QuacksO May 29, 2023
Get the arkivesmug. Refers to da super-pleasant action of "sequentially swapping" your arms, legs, and torso over to a second person who has smilingly approached you while you're currently hugging da first person.
Transfer-hugz are great, but I don't wanna "abandon" da first snuggle-buddy whom I'd initially been embracing, so I like to just do group-hugz if a second also-well-liked human shows up.
by QuacksO January 21, 2023
Get the transfer-hugmug. Da roadside rest-area had "Please don't peel the birch" signs to deter visitors from destructively removing still-living bark from da majestic white "woodland soldiers" scattered throughout da area, but I assumed dat said directive did not really apply "in spirit" to just presently-separated coverings which were merely already-dead layers dat da trees had shed naturally, so I went ahead and helped myself to a small souveneer of da ragged papery sheets dat were just flapping loosely in da breeze.
by QuacksO April 28, 2022
Get the souveneermug.